a penny for my thoughts...

I think I've figured out a way. . .

2011-06-12T14:39:00.000-04:00

to blog more often.

I downloaded an app on my phone! (I'm trying to remember how I lived without a smart phone. So ironic considering I was adamantly against getting one. . . ) Now I just click the icon and I am writing a post. Much more convenient. . . :)

Work
I am working at the Clarion this summer and it's nothing like last summer was. I am only working around 40 to 50 hours and told Dave (the manager) that I *won't* work more than 60.

I have too many other, more important, things to be doing with my time.

It's also different from the aspect of the stress level. I'm doing the same job, but Dave runs the hotel is much different than anywhere else I have worked. It's much calmer and low stress.

Class
That's right. I'm taking a class again. In the summer. I need my head examined.

I'm taking a class for my EMT Basic certification. I've talked about and thought about doing it since I got into the fire service, and I finally decided it was what I wanted to do.

So now I spend at least 8 hours a week in class, plus study time and soon I'll be doing clinicals too. *sigh*

But, it will all be over in August.

Then I'll be on call with the ambulance.

And shortly after that we'll have the

Wedding
Wedding planning is going well. I'm freaking out about it but I think I'm actually pretty on top of things.

I have my dress. The girl's dresses are ordered. The cake is paid for. The flowers are set up. We have an officiant, reception hall, ceremony site and photographer. The flower girl and ringbearer items are at the house. The DJ and caterer are set. I have the invitations being made. And my super awesome cake topper is here.

I am most worried about the decorations and favors because I am doing them (with the assistance of my awesome nieces). Other than that, I need to figure out who is doing our hair, get the bar set, order the tuxes, buy gifts, get the dress altered and write vows. Just a few things. ;-)

Spare Time
I have none!!

Other exciting news: John and I are planning on building an addition to our tiny house. VERY exciting!!

Well, that's all for now. I'll be writing soon!
♥ Sara

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Jabruary.

2011-03-18T22:12:00.003-04:00

I know, I've gone missing again. . . .

Here's what I've decided. I'm not going to worry about blogging about every detail I missed since the last time I posted (unless it's significant). I seem to worry about posting a lot of information or details, which stresses me out because I get to far behind, so I put it off, then I get further behind and it is a vicious, vicious cycle.

Since the last time I posted about life. . . here are a few highlights:
January 30 - My mom, Tierney and I went dress shopping in Gaylord. The dress-shop-lady was willing to accept my old dress for a credit on a new dress. I guess that means I won't be able to have a million adventures in my old dress. (See this post for what I'm talking about. . . :) ) But I am very excited about my new dress. It is gorgeous! (And it was the first one I tried on. . . WHY does it always happen that way?! I can try on 500 dresses and always end up with the first one.)

January 31 - We signed the contract for our reception hall!

February 9-13 - John went to Canada. Now, I had a million and one plans of things I was going to do while he was gone: things I wanted to do around the house, wedding plans I wanted to work on, etc. He should have been gone a month. . .lol. Instead I ended up spending quite a bit of time with my family and his family, more his than mine. I had dinner with family every night, and made it to one of Tier's games. I might not have gotten my stuff done, but I was certainly happy to see him when he got home. :)

February 21 - Krissi and Seth stopped in on their way from Cedarville to Kalamazoo, it was so good to see them! :)

February 26 - We had the 7th Annual Cheboygan County Dinner Dance and Auction. Remember last year? I made 1107 jello shots? This year, I cut it back to 900, thinking that I just made too many last year. Well, this year I was sold out by 930, and I started selling at 7!! The party was definitely fun, and better than last year because I was able to relax more, we made more money, and I had John with me. :)

Other highlights: snowmobiling, ice fishing, playing cards with Nate and Melissa, a couple fire runs (nothing too exciting), John shaved my cat (yes you read that right), spending time with Ricky, having dinners with each set of parents, taking Rickers and spending a day with my mom, working on other wedding plans, cuddling on the couch watching movies once in a while. . . just life. :)

Now that I feel "caught up" hopefully I can start posting more.
♥ Sara

"Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know
too much to learn something new."
-Og Mandino

We will make it.

2011-03-07T20:48:00.007-05:00

Lately, I have heard numerous comments like "If you [they] make it" (depending on if I was hearing it first or second hand). And I've had a ghost from my past come back in my life [again], the same ghost that has made me doubt nearly every relationship I have been in. But this time, it was different. This time he just made me realize how happy I really am. How sure I really am. How definite this really is.

How do I know? I never thought you would ask. ;)

(Mind you this is not a comprehensive list, and there are some reasons that just cannot be put into words.)

I don't think "what if?"

If you know me well, you know I *always* wonder what if, about everything. That is, everything except my relationship with John. I don't wonder what if it hadn't *finally* happened. I don't wonder what if I had dated someone else. I can't imagine my life without him now.

I don't like having a guy flirt with me.

In every other relationship I have been in I still appreciated it when a guy tried hitting on me or picking me up. I liked knowing that if (when) it ended I had other options (I realize how bad that makes me sound). Now I just find it annoying.

I have everything I want, and no other guy has a shot with me.

I have no desire to do things I used to.

I don't drink. I don't go to the bars. I don't go to parties.

I don't miss it.

I am content with my life right now (minus the job situation).

Most of my life I have wanted to change something. I've wanted to run. I've wanted to be somewhere else. I have felt trapped in many of my life situations. And when I didn't feel trapped I felt like something is missing.

I don't want to leave.

We have had a few fights, fights that in the past would have made me run. I am good at running. I am good at not caring.

Just not when it comes to him.

I cry.

Now I know this sounds odd to you, random reader, but you, close friend of mine, completely understand this. I don't cry. Correction - I didn't cry. I used to say that the reason I didn't cry was because I didn't care enough to cry. I think I was right. Rather than getting angry, I cry. Rather than yelling, I cry. Rather than leaving, I cry.

And I am no longer ashamed to admit it. I have feelings.

I love him.

It's not a blind love. I have my faults, he has his. Like I already stated, we do argue. We do get crabby. But, I still love him. I still want to be with him. I still want to marry him. And, it's incredibly difficult to stay mad at him for any length of time.

Moral of the story: You may not have confidence in us but I do. And that's all that matters. So, talk away, you're the one who looks bad by doing so. But, it would probably be a better idea to invest that time and energy in your own relationships rather than talking shit about mine, you might be happier that way.

♥ Sara

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. . . You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore." -Neil Gaiman

Getting There!

2011-02-06T13:36:00.001-05:00

In Progress - 12. Read and review 50 books.
P.S. I Love You
This book took far longer than I would have liked to read. I kept getting too busy to read, so it was set aside far too many times. It was *so* good though.

I saw the movie before I read the book, which I hate doing. Although I feel both of them were good, I think I liked the ending of the book better. ;) The book was a tearjerker, I managed to keep my emotions under control for most of it, but I know I shed a couple tears in reading Holly's journey. I would definitely recommend it to anyone, although I'm sure most guys wouldn't even give it a chance. . .

The Notebook
When I went to my cousin's wedding last weekend, John drove and when I ride, I have to do something or I will sleep. So, I chose to read. In fact, I read the entire book "The Notebook" before we made it to Dundee.

Once again, I saw the movie before reading the book. (Ugh.) I definitely liked the book more. It focused more on their reunion and life "now" than on their summer romance. It was harder than hell to make it through that book without shedding a tear. Once again, I would recommend it. . . .but I think it's time for Stephen King and I to reunite. ;)

In Progress - 14. Watch 101 New Movies.
Saints and Soldiers.
Miracle at Santa Anna.
Get Smart.

I LOVED the first two, and honestly, missed the last 1/4 of the movie because I fell asleep. But I am still listing it because I WILL watch it sometime in the next week or so. :)

In Progress - 19. Complete a cross-stitch project.
It's bought and started!! I am going to cross-stitch and apron for myself. And I also bought John's stocking for next year, felt applique. I'm also hoping to get mine done by Christmas, but won't be buying it until I finish his. Now, with the wedding to plan, wedding crafts to do and all that fun stuff, I'm not so sure that I will be getting the stockings done this year. . . .we'll see.

In Progress - 34. Eat 5 things I have never tried before.
When we went down to the wedding, we ate at Olive Garden. Now, I love Olive Garden and ate there quite a bit when I was in Kalamazoo. But John ordered some seafood thing and it had mussels in it. I've never had mussels, nor had any desire to try them. He wanted me to though. . .

So I did.

I don't recommend them.

I would eat them if they were served to me, but I would never order them.

In Progress - 40. Try 101 new recipes.
We had dinner at Jason and Shawnia's and I was told to bring dessert. So, I tried two new recipes.

Kiss Pies.
These were very easy to make, very cute, and very yummy. Unfortunately I forgot to take a picture of them. Oh well, next time.

I made them with the Mint Truffle Kisses and the Chocolate Meltaway Kisses. My favorite were the mint truffle ones but I *LOVE* mint chocolate. (John's not a fan.)

Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Dip.
My whole family loves chocolate chip cookie dough. So when I found a recipe for a DIP, I had to try it. It was delicious. I used Nila wafers to dip in it and they were perfect. Warning though: the dip is very sweet and very addictive. (I left the batch at Jason and Shawnia's to save my waistline. :) )

In Progress - 42. Try 10 New Restaurants.
Denny's.
When we went down for Dan's wedding, we got there on Thursday night and ate with Dan, Leah and Rachel at Denny's. Believe it or not, I had never been to a Denny's. Bob Evans, yes. Denny's, no. And we ended up eating there with Mom and Dad for breakfast on Sunday too!

El Ranchero
Last Sunday, when I got out of work, Tierney, Mom and I went dress shopping. After dress shopping, we were all starving, so we went to El Ranchero for dinner. As you can probably assume it's a mexican restaurant. The food was pretty good, and the fried ice cream was amazing!! :D

Completed - 44. Become an organ donor.
A couple weeks ago I got my enhanced driver's licence so I can go to Canada, or Mexico, or the Caribbean. When I got my new license, I also signed up to become an organ donor.

In Progress - 52. Send or give 101 cards.
I've been slacking here! But I have given three more.
One was to John, just because.
Another was for Dan and Leah for their wedding gift.
And the last was for Tierney, asking her to be a bridesmaid. (I failed to take a picture. . . my bad, I was in a hurry, she was walking in the door as I was finishing it!)

Completed - 82. Have a Successful New Year's Celebration.
Our New Year's celebration was nothing "special." We didn't go out. We didn't do anything special. But it was special to me. I have a horrible track record with New Year's. For some reason it always ends up in a fight over something ridiculous or one of the people involved being mad. So successful just meant happy to me. And I don't think I could have been happier.

We stayed in, watched TV and cuddled. Then after the ball dropped we went to bed. I had to be lame because I had to work at 7 am the next day.

Completed - 95. Go fishing.
Ice fishing counts, right? John has been asking me to go fishing with him for weeks, no months, now. I've always been working, or busy, or it's too cold, or. . . .or. . . . or. . .

Well on Wednesday, it was GORGEOUS out. So when John texted me and asked me if I wanted to go ice fishing, I said yes. Now, he didn't believe me at first. . . but I was serious. So, he got stuff together and when I got home I changed my clothes and put warm clothes on then we headed out.

I thought it was great! (And even caught a fish, even though it wasn't big enough to keep. . .) That is, until the sun went down and we all instantly froze. But I think I'll go again!! :)
--------------------------

Sorry it took so long to update. . . my life has been so crazy in the past month or so (see other blogs for those stories!).

♥ Sara

We're Getting Married!

2011-01-22T21:25:00.002-05:00

I guess John took me catching the bouquet as a good omen. . . he proposed on Tuesday!

Since a lot of people have asked for the story, here it is. . . :)

Welllll. . . I ruined it.

We had a fire association meeting last night. (Remember, that's where we met. . .) So we dropped his son off at his parents' house. I made plans with my future niece, Tierney, to come over and hang out with Ricky and I when we got back from the meeting. He shares custody 50/50 and she hadn't gotten to see him on this visit yet. . .

We got back from the meeting and rather than going to his mom's to pick him up, he turned on our road. I asked what he was doing, he said he had to pee. I told him to hold it, his mom lives less than a mile away. He said he couldn't. We get to the house and he told me to take my stuff in and I was upset. I said we aren't picking him up are we? And he said no my mom wants him for the night. I was really upset then. So I go in the house and start cleaning.

We eventually hash out the changing plans without telling me issue and he apologizes, all was well. Then he tells me he asked his mom to keep the kid because he had a surprise for me but it was ruined now. I *hate* surprises and even more than surprises I *hate* knowing about them but not knowing what they are.

So after much begging and pouting he told me he loves me and asked me if I was sure I wanted to be with him forever. I said of course. (This is normal conversation.) Then he pulls the ring out and asks me if I would marry him. Thing is I didn't see the ring. . . and I said you know I will. Followed by oh shit, you're serious. Then I said yes. :)

It was a long night of calls, texting and discussing plans!

I guess this means you, blog reader, need to be prepared to hear about this wedding planning adventure. ;)

♥ Sara

"Love one another and you will be happy. It's as simple and as difficult as that." -Michael Leunig

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

2011-01-18T09:45:00.004-05:00

Well hello there! I'm back, for now. . . ;)

Since Christmas we have been pretty busy.

Some of the highlights:

We've had dinner with my family a couple times, once my parents came here and we went to my brother and sister in law's for dinner once. I love having dinner with the family. And I really love spending time with my niece and nephew. I don't see them nearly enough anymore. When I still lived with my mom and dad full time I saw them almost daily, now I see them maybe twice a month. And living 45 minutes away doesn't help that. . . Oh well, part of growing up I guess. . . .

Shawnia and the kids came up to go to the water park. The hotel I work at has a water park connected to it, so we spent a few hours there and then had dinner with them.

Katie and Justin came up here on vacation for New Years so one night John, Ricky and I went to Petoskey to have dinner with them. It was. . . different. I wish I could say our relationship was completely repaired and back to normal. But, regrettably, I can't. It was somewhat awkward for me (and it takes a lot to make me awkward). I was very happy to see them though. Justin got a job in Chicago and they have moved there, so I don't know when I'll see them again. I do wish that Katie and I talked more. . . maybe with time.

John and I stayed in and didn't do anything special for New Year's Eve. Just spent the night together. Perfection in my eyes. :)

On the 4th and 5th, John and I pulled up our carpet in the living room and put down laminate wood flooring. I *love* it. It's so much easier to clean and looks so much nicer!

Old Floor. . .

New Floor!

Also on the 5th we had our first fire together. Well, by the time we got there it wasn't a fire anymore, but rather just overhauling. It was still enjoyable, and definitely a long night. (Why is it that the majority of fire calls seem to happen in the middle of the effing night?!?)

I'll be writing another post about my cousin's lovely wedding! :D

♥ Sara

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
-Hal Borland

Merry Christmas! (two days late!)

2010-12-27T13:08:00.003-05:00

I spent most of this week baking and making candies in order to prepare for the day after Christmas. I made roughly 20 dozen cookies and over 20 dozen candies. Every year I say I'm not doing it again. . . but I always do. . .

December 23rd I not only baked and made candy, but I also finished wrapping my gifts and made a gingerbread house. We had Ricky, so of course I had help doing all of the above. :) He is so adorable.

[I find it so ironic that one of the reasons I was hesitant to date John was because he had a son. I had a list of reasons why that would bother me, and now that little boy has me wrapped right around his finger.]

I had bought a gingerbread house to make for my 101/1001 project back at the beginning of the season. With the move and settling into the house I hadn't had an opportunity to make it. And I kept telling John he was going to help me, he kept telling me he wasn't. I cheated, I got the kid involved. ;) So, the three of us decorated the gingerbread house. Quite possibly the most pathetic one I have ever seen, and I'm pretty sure that was due to the adults. But we had fun, and that's all that matters.

Christmas Eve I had to work until 4, but after that we had our Christmas with Rickers (he was at his mom's for Christmas Day). He opened his presents and we ate dinner. Then we played with his toys for a bit before going home and watching a movie until it was time for him to leave.

After his mom picked him up, John and I our gifts since I wouldn't be around on Christmas Day. He got me a gorgeous necklace, tools and a toolbox. :) When we were done exchanging gifts we walked over to his sister and brother-in-law's for a little bit before I had to be lame and go to bed.

my necklace. :)

tools and box. :)

I was scheduled to work 7 am until 2 am on Christmas Day, but two of my co-workers, Andy and Wesley, love me and worked it out so I could leave at 7 pm. *insert big smiles here* I got out of work and snuck over to John's parents' house. I didn't even bother stopping at our house to change. It was Christmas and I wanted to spend it with people I care about. We were at his family gathering for a while before we headed home for the night.

Baking still wasn't finished. I made my eclairs and called it a night. I was exhausted and knew I needed sleep in order to make it through yesterday.

Yesterday, we got up in the morning and I finished the eclairs and my last batch of chocolates, got ready and headed to my parents' house. We opened gifts with them, then open gifts with Jason and Shawnia and had dinner. Later in the evening some of my dad's family came over for cookies and candies.

Of course, just as we were sitting down for dinner, I got a call from work asking me to come in because someone else was a no-show. I initially told them I would come in right after dinner. John and the family exploded. They are all sick of me being willing to go in at the drop of a hat, no matter what other plans I have, no matter what I am doing, no matter who I am with, no matter how I feel.

They stole my keys.

So I told work I would be in when I could, and only ended up working for like three hours. In that time, John took down our tree and cleaned the living room.

I know. . . I'm lucky.

Merry Christmas ya'll!!

John couldn't find any gift tags. . .

neither could Dad. . . .

SCARY!

♥ Sara

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy
family all wrapped up in each other."
-Burton Hillis

Gingerbread.

2010-12-25T18:46:00.012-05:00

Completed - 2. Build a gingerbread house.
Now, when I wrote this list, I wasn't exactly planning on building a gingerbread house with a three year old. So, I'm happy I didn't specify that it had to look a certain way or be a difficult-to-build gingerbread house. And, honestly, making it with John and his son was much more fun than building it on my own anyhow. So, here are a couple pictures of our gingerbread house. . . John is currently in the process of plotting its destruction.

5. Complete a coloring book, cover to cover.

Well, I finally found one I liked, so I bought it! But because of the holidays I haven't had a chance to color at all. I can't wait until my life calms back down.

20. Complete a fill-it-in book without dad taking it over.

I love fill-it-in books, as does my daddio. I have bought many over the years that dad somehow ends up filling most of them. (Not that I mind.) So, the whole "without dad taking it over" was written to get a laugh out of him. It's a little bit more difficult for him to steal them now that I no longer live there and don't even stay the night when I visit.

Well, for Christmas dad bought me my own fill it in and wrote a note on the front of it to remind himself and everyone else that it is all mine. :) One of my favorite gifts this year.

40. Try 101 new recipes.

Thanks to Christmas I had the opportunity to try eleven new recipes! I only had one repeat cookie and one repeat candy this year. And most of my family complained because they didn't get any "normal" cookies. Well guess what, maybe they should have baked them! (Not that we needed another cookie in the house, but I don't particularly enjoy it when my family complains about stuff that I make when I don't ever see them doing it!) When I get home I'll find the websites that I got my recipes from and include them as well. :)

Blackberry Ribbons

They were supposed to be raspberry but I made them blackberry for John. And they looked much nicer once i took them off of the paper that I spilled so much icing on.

Cowboy Chip Cookies

I replaced the nuts with butterscotch chips.

Chippy Cookies (the ones in the back. . . the ones in the front weren't new.)

Chocolate Covered Caramel Cookies

Candy Cane Chocolate Fudge

Snowballs

Oreo Truffles

Peanut Butter Balls

Cookie Dough Truffles

Sugar Free Eclairs

Well, that's all the progress I have made this week on the 101 project.

Merry Christmas!!

♥ Sara

Two Movies. One Postcard. And Long Hair?

2010-12-18T11:00:00.005-05:00

Welp, I've been working on a couple of my 101 in 1001 tasks.

16. Watch 101 new movies.
I've watched two this week! I was wrapping gifts and working on stuffing my Christmas cards so I decided to take advantage of my Netflix on demand and watched The Bounty Hunter and Nothing Like the Holidays. Two very different movies. . .

I liked the Bounty Hunter just because it wasn't as predictable as I expected. Plus I like both Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler. I knew nothing about Nothing Like the Holidays but it was the only Christmas type movie that I could find on there. It has a lot going on in it and a star-packed cast for being an indie film. I really enjoyed that one as well, although I did have to rewind it a couple times when I got distracted and missed parts.

63. Grow my hair with trims for 1001 days. Donate it when I cut it.
Surprisingly, I'm not having much trouble with this yet. I still have days where I want to chop it all off, but I'm beginning to like the long hair. . .We'll see how long that lasts though!

84. Join postcrossing.com. Send and receive 10 postcards.
I sent my first postcard to a girl (woman?) in the Netherlands this week! :)

Here's a picture of the postcard:

I'm hoping to get my gingerbread house built this week sometime. And there are some of the tasks (such as not eating fast food, or wearing my hair down every day) that I have completed or partially completed but as far as I am concerned it doesn't count unless I am intentionally (not) doing it for the project. :)
♥ Sara

Pre-Christmas Blog.

2010-12-18T08:05:00.007-05:00

There's just something about writing at work that is so much more. . . convenient. . . than writing at home. In my defense it has been a busy week!!

Work, of course, took up it's normal forty or so hours. Nothing worth writing about there, as usual.

Home life has been pretty busy as well. . .

I got my Christmas cards out finally!! I was going to write a "Christmas letter" of sorts on here, but have decided to wait until January 1st and look back at the year, like I usually do. :)

my finished cards, waiting to be mailed. :)

I also have all but two gifts that are at the house wrapped. Neither of which are from me. I beg my parents to let me wrap their gifts because I love wrapping so much. And I have most of my shopping done. I just need to pick up a couple more things. . .but that involves finding time to run to town without John. Maybe this week one of the days that he's at work and I'm off. Oh wait, better be this week!!! Christmas is one week away! I have no idea where this year went. Wait, yes, yes I do. Work. >_<

This week I also got everything of mine put away and the house is all cleaned. There's just something about having a clean house that puts me in a very good mood. John is learning to deal with my organizational issues (I think). He was (playfully) upset when he came home and realized his clothes were almost as organized as mine. But hey, I do the laundry and put the clothes away, so I get to keep them organized, right?

Ooh! I never talked about the crazy snow we got here did I?! Last week I came into work and it took me 10 minutes to get from our house to work (usually takes 2) and fifteen to rock my baby back and forth to get her though the snow in the driveway. She's not made for snow that is deeper than her bumper is tall. Haha!

This is right after I pulled in the driveway. The windows were already not seeable.

Covering my lens so it didn't get covered in snow.

You can see where I plowed the snow with the bottom of my car. Bah!

Let's see, what else is going on. I guess just prepping for Christmas.

I offered to work Christmas Day back before John and I were together. I knew there was no way I would be lucky enough to get the entire day off. And the likelihood that I would be able to go to my parents' for any length of time would be slim. So I figured I might as well work and let everyone else have the day off. Well, I got my schedule for next week. And I work from 7 til 2 on Christmas. I know, you're thinking "that's not bad." Now let me put the actual times in there 7:00 AM until 2:00 AM. Yes, NINETEEN hours. *shakes head* I asked for it.

But on the bright side. . . We're having a family get together with my Dad's family on the 26th and I will be spending the 24th with John and his family (or at least Rickers). AND I get three days off to spend baking! :D Well, I'll be updating on Christmas if not before!

♥ Sara

"Christmas is a necessity. There has to be at least one day of the year to remind us that we're here for something else besides ourselves."
-Eric Sevareid

Thought Questions

2010-12-11T16:40:00.003-05:00

As promised, I'm sharing another site I stumbled upon today. I intend on doing this more often than I have been. Maybe once my life calms back down. :)

Thought Questions is the new site I found. After finishing my 50 Questions to free my mind, I realized how much I enjoyed answering them, if not for your benefit, for mine. Now this site has 285 questions at this time and adds a new one daily. I am thinking this will be something I do off-the-blog, but share when I feel it's something worth sharing or really important to me.

Looks like I need another notebook! I currently carry one for my personal thoughts that I don't feel like sharing here or that I am not near a computer to write, a planner for 2010, a planner for 2011 and a notebook for lists and quotes. Geez, maybe I write too much. ;)

I just really enjoy deep thinking, reflection and self examination. I always have.

And lately I *love* writing. I guess I always have done that too. But now I almost crave writing. . . so this seems like an opportunity to do both of those for my own benefit. :)
♥ Sara

"If in the last few years you haven't discarded a major opinion or acquired a
new one, check your pulse. You may be dead."
-Gelett Burgess

Dryer.

2010-12-11T16:39:00.003-05:00

It's official, I really am settling down and turning into a 90-year old woman. I was just talking to my coworker because he called me at 10 last night and I was wondering what he wanted. He had wanted me to go to the bar with him. (I haven't been to the bar in over a month. And it's been even longer than that since I last drank alcohol.) Irregardless, I was sleeping/watching a movie with John when he called so I didn't hear my phone or answer.

We were talking and he asked if there was anything interesting going on in my life. My answer "We're getting a new dryer tonight!"Followed by the realization that I just sounded stupidly old and responsible. Gah! What happened to me?! *smiles*When I'm done working we will go to Cheboygan and get our new dryer and then I will finish this post! :)

Update time. . . we went to Cheboygan to get the dryer that night, only to find out the hours online were not the correct hours and Sears was closed *insert John's frustrated and my incredibly patient face here*. So, we had to go back on Sunday to get it.

We found a really good deal on one and took it home that night. After a little bit of frustration getting it into the spot it needed to be in, and me having to change the door around so it opened on the opposite side of normal, I am finally drying my last load of laundry! (Mind you, we had EIGHT loads that had piled up due to a lack of laundry services. And I washed a couple and hung the clothes up because some of us don't have enough clothes to go without doing laundry for like three months (hint, that isn't me!))

Here's a picture for ya!

♥ Sara

"Behind every working woman is an enormous pile of unwashed laundry."
-Barbara Dale

Done Moving.

2010-12-10T14:57:00.003-05:00

Oh, life, how I love you.

In addition to blogging I keep a personal journal that includes those thoughts that I am not prepared to share with the world. (I know, you're shocked there are any aren't you?) I'm going to start out by sharing a small excerpt from that. . .

"My life cracks me up.
The irony is too much to bear at times.
The timing is amazing.
The way everything falls together (or apart) causes me to believe even more
in fate."

Everything is going great with John. No, it's not all rainbows and butterflies, but then again it shouldn't be. If it was, then it's not real. Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies all the time. After much consideration and discussion between us as well as between my mom and I (you know how I feel about my parents' approval), I moved in with him.

It just made more sense than paying for an apartment that I was rarely at. I'm still not completely unpacked, but I can guarantee I won't be moving or helping anyone move for a very very long time. This makes the fourth official move since June (to Aqua, back home, to the apartment, to John's). I am so over moving!!!

So I have spent a lot of my time outside of work unpacking, cleaning and organizing. It should be all done this weekend. I have banned myself from anymore Christmas related stuff until I get everything done in order to motivate myself to do it.

My cards are mostly finished, I just need a couple more addresses and to decide whether I'm including a letter of some type or not. . . I know, I need to get that done! My shopping is almost done, I just need to pick up a couple more things in Cheboygan and (im)patiently wait for my packages to arrive.

Work is going, well, as good as work can go. I love only working forty hours, but I miss the paychecks that came with 105 hour weeks! I still have a strong desire to actually find myself a job in my field. I miss helping others. I would love to find a job working with kids, especially full families.

I don't think I mentioned this already but I'm putting grad school on hold. My heart isn't in it at all. And I can't force myself to spend that much time doing something that I'm not passionate about. (I think I was in the wrong mentality when I chose what I was going for, I wholeheartedly believe that had I chosen Marriage and Family Therapy, I would still be going to school.)

I think that catches you up on my life! :)
♥ Sara

"May the roof above us never fall in
And may we good companions beneath it
never fall out."
-Irish Blessing

Smoke Stories, Grown-Ups and Christmas.

2010-12-10T14:29:00.008-05:00

Ok, you're gonna get a few posts in a row here. . . First and foremost I need to update my situation with the 101 in 1001 challenge.

12. Read and review 50 books.
Well, I finished my first one. (And am close to finishing the second one.) I read Smoke Stories by Mike Davis.

Remember the quilter's retreat we had at the Best Western Dockside a month or so ago? Well Mike's wife, June, was in charge of this retreat. They had a vending area in the garden room and June was selling Mike's book there.

One of the quilter ladies was also a firefighter and we had struck up conversation about it. She told me about the book and I said I'd have to check it out. One of the other quilters ended up buying it for me as a thank you. So, I had to read it.

My review of the book: I would give it 2 out of 5 Stars. I didn't think it was well written *at all.* There was no flow to it. It skipped around a lot, was very vague and just didn't go together well. Luckily, it wasn't very long and therefore didn't take much time for me to read. It did have a couple funny stories, but wasn't worth my time and made me very happy that I didn't pay for the thing.

The Book.

16. Watch 101 new movies.

I've watched two new ones! The first was Grown-Ups with John. It was pretty good. While it was funny, I felt it should have been funnier with the cast, but oh well. It wasn't bad and it's nice to cuddle up on the couch and watch a movie with him now and then.

The second was A Charlie Brown Christmas. For some reason, I had never seen this. I know, there's something wrong with me. But it's John's son's new favorite movie, so I've actually seen it a few times and there's a good chance I could quote a few parts of it.

20. Complete a fill-it-in book without Dad taking it over.

I've started it! I finished the first two puzzles. . . it'll help me keep my sanity when I'm at work and it's dead. :)

---------------------------------

That's all I have made any head way on. My life has been fairly busy lately and I haven't spent much time thinking about it or working on it. I'm sure it will get done though!

♥ Sara

"The worth of a book is to be measured by what you can carry away from
it."
-James Bryce

Stumble Upon.

2010-11-27T12:34:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure what my deal is lately, but I can't get enough of writing. I have so much to say, my head is just filled with stuff to share.

And today I discovered Stumble Upon. Ok, I've heard of it. I've seen it on Facebook, but I never paid attention. I never bothered clicking on it.

Until today.

New plan. Well, adding to all existing plans. . . I will be periodically (maybe daily, maybe more, maybe less) be sharing a site, story, picture, quote, whatever that I stumbled on and thought I'd like to share with ya'll.

This is where tagging is going to become essential. And I don't plan on including pictures with these posts, so they most likely won't be linked on Facebook.

So, without further aideau, my first website share. . . .

This is actually a story that I read a couple years ago. I believe on of my professors brought it to my attention, but when I stumbled on it today, I couldn't help but get the goosebumps all over again.

Ironically, I stumbled upon this link right after which was simply the following quote:

"Treat a man as he is, and he will remain as he is. Treat a man as he could
be, and he will become what he should be." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

The two go together very well, now I'm definitely not saying that the teen was in the right, or that he necessarily "got what he deserved." But, the victim certainly had a brilliant plan and quite possibly changed the teen's life forever. In the utopia that is my mind right now, that one random act of bravery/kindness did just that. I wish we knew the rest of the story.

I would love to know what happened after he left the restaurant.
I would love to know what happened the next day.
I would love to know where he is now.
I would love to know what he's doing.

And that quote. . . oh it is so true. I wonder how many people's lives could be changed by one random act of kindness. Or even better than a random act of kindness, just knowing that someone has confidence in them and their lives, knowing that someone believes in them.

I think it's important to remember that everything we do and say affects someone else's life. . . this is definitely something I am trying to be more conscious of. . .
♥ Sara

50 Questions to Free My Mind.

2010-11-25T19:53:00.013-05:00

[Note: these questions were not all answered the same day. They were answered (not in order either) between November 25, 2010 and December 3, 2010. If I was satisfied with an answer I marked it and left it alone. Some of the answers have been edited repeatedly and some of the answers took a long time and a lot of thinking to come up with. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed answering them. Feel free to leave your comments or message me, as always.
♥ Sara]

These questions have no right or wrong answers. Because sometimes asking the right questions is the answer.

1. How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

90. (It's a joke, John always makes fun of me and says I'm turning 90 soon because I knit, I like going to bed early, and in general act like a grandma.)
I don't feel like I can answer that question. I have only experienced being 23 and younger and I think that if I was to place a number on how old I feel and/or act, it would be older than that.

2. Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Never trying, for sure. I would rather know I tried something and for whatever reason it didn't work out than never trying it and always wondering if I should have.

3. If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Money, followed by time. Or at least that's my reasoning.

The main thing I spend my time doing that I don't like is my job. Yes, I love it at times. But honestly, if I never had to worry about money, I would never sit behind the desk of a hotel for a minimum of 40 hours a week.

And a lot of the things I don't do that I would like to is simply because I don't have the money and/or the time. If I didn't have to work that would be a minimum of 40 hours I could spend doing something I would actually like to do. I have cut out some things that I feel "waste my time." For example, that's the main reason I don't have a TV. It's not because I don't *like* watching TV, it's because I feel there are much better things I can be doing with my time.

4. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

Hm, that's a tough one. I think I will have said more than I have done.

But I do believe that when all is said and done I will be proud of what I have done and not ashamed in the least of what I said.

5. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

People and the way they treat others.

6. If happiness was the national currency, what kind of work would make you rich?

Currently. . . helping others. If I could get paid a decent wage for the volunteer work I'd like to do, or get a job in my field I would be very content in my employment/financial situation.

Eventually. . . being a wife and mother. Anyone who knows me well knows that's what I long for (there's a reason that I have been called "Mom" by numerous people)! I'm not willing to settle for someone I don't want to be with to get there though. And no, I don't want to get married to be dependent on someone else to provide for me and take care of me. It's quite the opposite actually. I am very independent (although I do like it when someone puts forth the effort to show they care) and love taking care of others. Being and a wife and mother would be the ultimate "take care" position. :)

7. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

I have to say a little bit of both.

My job is certainly settling for what I'm doing. I am *not* doing what I believe in at the hotels, but I am supporting myself.

In my spare time, I try to do what I believe in. . .
There's a reason I'm a firefighter.
There's a reason I'm trying to get back into the pregnancy center.
There's a reason my major was what it was.
That is what I believe in.

8. If the average human life span was 40 years, how would you live your life differently?

I'd worry less about the future and live more in the now.
I wouldn't worry about saving money.
I wouldn't worry about ever buying a house (hell, I'd die before it was paid off at the length of time most mortgages are).
I would live paycheck to paycheck, traveling when I could, donating what I didn't need and just loving what time I have.

Then again, if the average human life span was 40 years, I wouldn't even exist. My parents were 39 and 40 when I was born. That would be the equivalent of a 70+ year old having a kid. Not very likely.

9. To what degree have you actually controlled the course your life has taken?

I can't say that I've had 100% control over the course my life has taken. But I have had control over the decisions that I have made that controlled the course my life took. Make sense? Didn't think so. . .

See, there are lots of things that I wish would have went differently, but the decisions I made (large or small) determined the course of my life. And honestly at this point, I'm glad they did. I always say if I could change one thing, it would be that I had a job in my field, but as I sit here writing this. . . I'm glad I don't.

Let me explain one senario. . . had I gotten a job in my field, it likely wouldn't have been in Mackinaw. I likely would have never come to Mackinaw. Had I never come to Mackinaw the likelihood of John and I ever hanging out would have been slim to none. And well, you know how I feel about that. So, in the long run. I'm happy with where my life is. I could have lived without a few hard times, without a few heartbreaks, without losing friends, without losing family members. But then would I be here? I don't think so. . .

I'll take the pain of the past for the happiness of the future.

10. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right things?

Ooh! This is a tough one. I am going to have to say I'm more worried about doing the right things.

Doing things right gives me immediate gratification, but even if I have to make mistakes to do the right things, it will be more satisfying in the long run of my life. As far as I am concerned, the long run is really what matters.

11. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend. The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

I would defend my friend. I would tell them why their criticism is unjustified. If they don't respect me for doing so, then they are not the kind of people I want to respect or admire. If I had a friend in the same situation I would hope they would do the same thing for me.

12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

Live your life. Savor every moment. Take notes. Take pictures. Never forget what's important. Always be yourself, even when you don't know who you are yet.

Yes, I'm aware that's technically more than one piece of advice, but I could have made it a run on sentence to make it only one. And since I chose to make it more than one thing I'll explain them all.

Live your life: Don't let anyone else control you. That will never make you happy.
Savor every moment: I can think of many times that I was too busy waiting for the future to get here to enjoy the present.
Take notes: Journal. Blog. Keep a diary. Keep a planner. Do something to remind you of even the simplest times. I can't tell you how many times I have used my planner or my blog or one of my journals from when I was younger to distinctly remember something. Or how many times I have randomly read one of the three and stumbled on something awesome that I had forgotten.
Take pictures: You can never have enough pictures of your life. You won't always remember every detail, unfortunately. (And I need to get better about this again.)
Never forget what's important: Always remember your loved ones. Focus on the present, future and the big picture, don't look at life under a microscope.

13. Would you break the law to save a loved one?

Yes. Absolutely. No doubt in my mind.

14. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

That's my entire life.

I don't even feel the need to explain it further than that.

15. What’s something you know you do differently than most people?

Ha. Where should I begin?

My closet and drawers are color coded and organized by type of clothes.
I eat pizza (and most other foods) differently than most anyone I know. Unless I'm uncomfortable, then I will eat like others to avoid anyone noticing.
I have a certain routine when I'm getting ready and if for some reason things get out of order I'll forget something or get really frustrated.
I read and study differently than most people.
I do math weird.
I am easily annoyed by lots of things, but have learned to cope with most of them.
I could go on and on. . . I'm an odd duck and I know it.

16. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?

No one else is exactly like me. If everyone was the same life would be rather boring.
And there are some things that make me happy that I just wouldn't be willing to share with someone else. :)

17. What one thing have you not done that you really want to do? What’s holding you back?

I can think of so many things. . . all because of either a) money or b) it just hasn't happened.

If I had to choose one thing it would be traveling. My parents aren't big into traveling, so I didn't do it much as a kid or in my teen years, but I've always had the desire to do so. Now, I don't do it because I don't feel I have the money to spend and I don't want to take time off to do so because I don't want to lose my wages for those days.

18. Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?

For the most part, no, I think I'm pretty good at letting things go.

But I'm also good at dragging them out of my memories at the most inconvenient times. Unfortunately, this can do awful things to my self esteem, my thoughts on myself, my view on the world, my trust in others, my relationships, my friendships, everything.

I think there are some things that you can't completely let go of, sadly. So, the best way to deal with it, at least for me, is to do just that. Deal with it. Make my loved ones aware. Don't be afraid to share my feelings (that's how shit gets destroyed). Don't be afraid to share my pain. Don't be afraid to share my fears. Don't be afraid to cry.

As I say that I also need to include that this is a huge step for me. I am much better at dealing with shit on my own. Bottling up my feelings. Holding in my pain. Pretending I have no fears. And, until recently, I didn't even want to let myself see me cry. I'm working on it.

19. If you had to move to a state or country besides the one you currently live in, where would you move and why?

I honestly have no idea, simply because I haven't been many places.

I think I would choose somewhere similar to here. I would need snow. I would prefer to live in the country with a city nearby for convenience, but I could easily go without that. Also I would want to be near loved ones. I love having people I care about close to me.

20. Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you really believe it makes the elevator faster?

Never. It annoys me.

21. Would you rather be a worried genius or a joyful simpleton?

I'm going to have to go with a joyful simpleton. I have spent years of my life worrying about one thing or another. I have serious anxiety issues, that I typically deal with in my own ways and most people don't even know about. I would love to not have to worry about shit. Even if that meant losing some of my intelligence.

Plus, I'm not very high maintenance and simpleton just sounds nice to me right now.

22. Why are you, you?

I am me because of the way I was raised, the experiences I have had, the lessons I have learned, the things I was taught, the decisions I have made and the people who have impacted my life.

As you know, I subscribe to the belief that everything, good or bad, happens for reason. I can think of some awful things that I wish would have never happened. But if I take that one incident out of my life, it wouldn't have ended up like this, or maybe it would have, but the chain of incidents that led me to here would be broken and I wouldn't want to take the risk that this isn't where I ended up or who I was in the end. Even the hardest times were blocks in building the me I am today.

23. Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

Yes, I have been, at least to my true friends.
I don't get easily angry at my friends.
I am willing to forgive my true friends for just about anything.
I am always there if they need anything.
I try not to complain about things too much.
I always try to listen more than I talk (maybe that's why I write so much. . .).
I am always honest, even if it's something they don't really want to hear.

I wish I was better at keeping in touch with people though. . . something else to work on.

24. Which is worse, when a good friend moves away, or losing touch with a good friend who lives right near you?

When a good friend moves away (or moving away from a good friend).
It's always easier to regain touch with someone who is nearby than it is to keep touch with a friend who is far away. I discovered that when I permanently left Kalamazoo. . .

25. What are you most grateful for?

Life and the people in it! I am most grateful for my family and friends (including the boyfriend). My life wouldn't be what it is without those people.

26. Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Lose all my old ones.

I have some awful old memories. And I want to be able to remember my happiness now and the happiness I anticipate in the future. In my mind "lose all my old memories" means that they wouldn't be in my head, but doesn't mean I would lose all my writing or pictures. Most of my happy times are recorded in one or both ways and I could always imagine them.

I would hate to know that no matter what I did I wouldn't be able to remember today. It would definitely change the way I live, and it wouldn't be in a good way.

27. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?

Yes, it is. It's called faith.

28. Has your greatest fear ever come true?

Not yet, and I hope it never does.

29. Do you remember that time 5 years ago when you were extremely upset? Does it really matter now?

Yes, I can. I'm not going to explain the situation, because it's a long story that no one really needs to know. No, it doesn't really matter now. The main reason? The people who upset me are no longer in my life, will never be in my life again, and I don't miss them in the least.

30. What is your happiest childhood memory? What makes it so special?

I can't choose just one. . . it's impossible I've decided. But I can list a few.
Every family reunion since I can remember.
Riding with Jason to school.
Father-daughter retreats with Dad.
Parts of mother-daughter retreats with Mom.
Walking to the big rock with Oliver.
Charlie pulling me on the sled.
Swimming.
Bon-fires.
Playing with the neighbor boys.
. . .
I could go on and on. The main factor that makes them so special is family. All of my best memories are times with my family, even doing simple things.

31. At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Starting this project. Pretty much in the past month and half or so I have felt very passionate and alive. I am happy. Truly happy. I think that has a lot to do with it. There hasn't been any time that I can think of that I have felt this passionate about my life. Things are finally falling into place for me.

32. If not now, then when?

Never.

There are no guarantees for the future.
There may not be the opportunity tomorrow.
There may not be a tomorrow.
I'm trying to remember this and live every day to it's full potential.

I'm not trying to sound pessimistic. I'm far from pessimistic. Just realistic.

33. If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

The opportunity to achieve it.

34. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

When I'm with the right person (or sometimes people) it's like that often.

I feel (and have felt since the beginning) that way with John. We could drive in silence, just listening to the radio, no physical contact, and I would feel so relaxed and just generally satisfied after those times. And no matter how tired I was, I was never ready to go back to the apartment. It's the same way now.

35. Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?

It's not the religions that cause the wars.

It's the people.

Unfortunately, people don't always adhere to the beliefs of their religion and are often judgmental and intolerant of other religions.

36. Is it possible to know, without a doubt, what is good and what is evil?

Not in this world, I don't believe it is. I mean there are some things that are obvious, but there are also a lot of things that are very hard/impossible for humans to classify as either good or evil.

37. If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

You better believe it!!! Or at least I wouldn't work the shifts I don't want to work.

I would certainly start spending more time doing things I love, things I am passionate about, things that make me feel alive, things that make a difference in this world. I would technically be working, but maybe not working for a wage.

38. Would you rather have less work to do, or more work you actually enjoy doing?

More work that I actually enjoy doing. I don't mind working, as long as I enjoy it. And there's a reason I will take time to volunteer completely free of charge. I enjoy doing it. I know I am making a difference, even if it isn't something that I can see the results of immediately.

39. Do you feel like you’ve lived this day a hundred times before?

Considering that I am working 12 hours today. I have lived this day, but worse a hundred times before. I am so ready for a job that I feel like I am accomplishing more than getting a paycheck and keeping my life afloat.

40. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

I honestly don't know. When I think of this, I think of taking a big risk, alone, without a clue, to do something I believe in. And I don't know when the last time I did that was, if ever.

Anything I could think of I wasn't alone, or I wasn't clueless.

41. If you knew that everyone you know was going to die tomorrow, who would you visit today?

And I was going to live?!? What the hell kind of question is this?
My family, as many of them as I could possibly see.
John.
My best friends.
Wow. I hate that question.
Seriously.
I better be allowed to teleport because I don't want to waste my time driving places.

42. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by 10 years to become extremely attractive or famous?

No way.
I don't care that much about my looks to lose 10 years of my life.
And I have never had a desire to be famous, I wouldn't give up 10 days of my life to be famous.

43. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

Everyone who is breathing is alive.
Not everyone who is breathing is truly living.

Truly living involves doing something with your life.
Being alive involves breathing.
Truly living involves being passionate about your life.
Being alive involves a routine that keeps your body functioning.

44. When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards, and just go ahead and do what you know is right?

Now.
For all we know, there may be no tomorrow.
And if there is a tomorrow, the opportunity may not be there.
This question is being answered at a very ironic time for me. . . ya'll will understand later. . . but not now.

45. If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

Obviously from my perspective. . .
I hate being wrong.
I hate the feeling that I did something wrong.
I hate the sadness that some mistakes brings.
I hate having other people feel bad because of my mistakes.
I hate it when other people point out my mistakes.
I hate the realization that I shouldn't have done or said what I did.

So, even though I learn from my mistakes, I'd rather not have to make them. I can learn from other people's mistakes. I can learn what works when it works. :)

46. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

I'm not sure that there is anything that I would do differently.
I tend to live for myself and myself alone (obviously with consideration for other people's feelings).
I tend to not care what people think about me.
I tend to let people say what they want.
I tend to live as though no one is judging me.
There are very few people in this world who I care what they think. And frankly, I believe their thoughts (or judgments, if you will) tend to keep my head on straight. There's a reason that there is a very short list of people that I ask opinions of before I do something major (not that I always do what they say, but I always listen to what they have to say and consider it).

47. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your own breathing?

Maybe the last time I ran and was out of breath.

I know this is weird but I *hate* hearing breathing. . . it annoys me to no end. My breathing doesn't make a sound (except maybe when I'm sleeping and breathing hard). The only exception is sleeping breathing. I don't mind the sound of other people breathing when they are sleeping, but there's something about hearing people breathing in general that drives me crazy.

I know, I have issues.

48. What do you love? Have any of your recent actions openly expressed this love?

My life.
I think so, I think that the people I love know that I love them.
I am learning to do the things I love more often.
I do my best to express my love to people every opportunity I have.

49. In 5 years from now, will you remember what you did yesterday? What about the day before that? Or the day before that?

I will. And if I don't, I have a handy dandy blog, planner, or mystery notebook to look at to tell me what I did. I have found that blogging my life is one of the best ideas I have ever had and am regretting that I fell away from it this summer. Be ready to be overwhelmed with blogs!! :D

50. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Haha! If you know me well, you know I *hate* making some decisions. And I think I'm getting worse instead of better with it. Hell, last night John told me he was going to Arby's and offered to pick up dinner for me. I made *him* decide what *I* was eating.

As far as the important decisions in my life, I make them for myself. I had a hard time doing that for a while. I am always so scared of hurting other people and I knew whatever decisions I made, someone was going to suffer. Also, I was refraining from making decisions until I was certain of what I wanted and serious about it. I didn't want to unnecessarily hurt anyone, nor did I want to jump into something and end up hurt myself or hurting someone else.

I am now 100% content in the decisions I am making.

Thankful.

2010-11-25T14:38:00.009-05:00

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

As I write this, I am at work. And so full that I feel as though I might throw up. :)

This morning I got ready for work and went out to John's parents' house with him for a little while. We played with Ricky and just hung out for a bit before I had to go to work.

I volunteered to work today because at that time I didn't know I was going to end up in relationship and definitely didn't expect it to be one where I would feel comfortable going to Thanksgiving dinner with his entire family. I should learn to stop expecting stuff. And I knew my family's Thanksgiving wouldn't work for me unless I was to have the entire day off and that certainly wasn't going to happen.

So I have to work noon until midnight today. But have no fear, John brought me an amazing Thanksgiving dinner. I ate about 1/3 of it before I had to give up and put it in the fridge for later. I've been dieting for a couple months trying to (healthily) lose the weight that I gained after I started working up here so my body doesn't know what to do with this much food.

my Thanksgiving dinner. . . I was warned dessert would be coming later. Eek! :)

While I am here, and since it is Thanksgiving, I figured I would share a few things I am thankful for this year. Not something I usually do.

I am. . .

. . . thankful for my parents. They have done so much for me and I definitely wouldn't be at this place in my life without their help.

. . . thankful for my job. Even though I hate it at times, for the most part I love it. And I'm just happy to have one.

. . . thankful for volunteer opportunites. I love the fire department and am looking into working at the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Cheboygan if I ever get the right days off.

. . . thankful for my friends. I have numerous "groups" of friends and I don't know what I would do without them. I have been through so much in the last year or so and they have been there for me through it all.

. . . thankful for my health. I'm hoping this isn't me jinxing myself but I am so happy that I have went *so* long without being truly sick. A cold is nothing. I have had no relapses with my autoimmune stuff and my biopsies have been coming back the same as "normal" for me.

. . . thankful for my furbabies. They are great, I'm happy to have them living with me again.

. . . thankful to be on my own. There's something about taking care of myself and my own stuff that makes me feel amazing. (Although now I have someone helping take care of me, but that's different. *smiles*)

. . . thankful for him. SO thankful for him. He is exactly what I want, and, I think I met him at exactly the right time.

. . . thankful for my life in general. There isn't much I would change, and none of it is major. :)

♥ Sara

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Happiness.

2010-11-24T14:46:00.012-05:00

Where, oh where, do I begin?

I guess I'll begin on day 1.

Day one for this story happens to be almost a year ago, December 15, 2009. . . .

This happened to be the date of the Cheboygan County Firefighters' Association meeting in Mackinaw City. This was the day we first saw each other. Now, yes, I realize this story is likely to be incredibly long, but I am going to thoroughly enjoy writing it.

Back to December 15, since the meeting was in Mackinaw, he decided to go for once. Dad (always more observant about how guys look at me than I am) asked me afterward if I noticed the new firefighters. I said yes, one in particular, and described him. Dad said yeah, well he noticed you too. . . Now, me, being me, my nose was too far into my knitting to pay attention. (I'm not joking. . .)

From then on I saw him once a month at the Association meetings, and I would always try to find a reason to talk to him, but I'm never good at that. . . it certainly didn't help that I didn't even know his name. At the house he was referred to as "the attractive Mackinaw City firefighter" or "the cute Mackinaw City firefighter." I remember one day in the beginning of April (right after I started working in Mackinaw) that I ran into him in Walmart and came home and told my parents who I ran into, still not knowing a name. . . lol.

Shortly after the Association meeting at our station, I went out to the Dixie after work and Bob, the other Mackinaw City firefighter was there. We were talking about the meetings and I said I felt bad because there were a lot of people that I still didn't even know their names and he said "well there's John and I from Mackinaw City"!!!!! FINALLY!!! After over four months, I finally had a name. Not that it really helped me much, but it was a start. :)

The next day he friend requested me on Facebook. I remember that I found it so ironic that I find out his name one day and the next he decides we should be virtual friends.

Of course, I went flying up the stairs and was like "DAD! Guess who just friend requested me?!?" And Dad, not knowing nor being that excited, asks who. I replied "John" and he says who? THE ATTRACTIVE MACKINAW CITY FIREFIGHTER, DAD! Oh, ok. Haha, not nearly as excited as I was.

So, of course I added him. And we talked on Facebook now and then, I remember wanting to hang out with him but being far to scared to ask. . . (this is just funny now. . .). After some time he finally asked for my number (or I gave it to him). We met up at the Dixie a couple times and hung out.

When I moved into the Aqua Grand we would go for drives together. It was beneficial in more ways than one for me. First, I got to spend more time with him and got to know him a little better and second, I got out of that damn building and got a little bit of my sanity back. We went out a couple other times, once for food, once to the movies. He was always willing to help me out of I needed something. I'll share two of my favorites. . .

I had to have a biopsy on my finger (turned out there was nothing wrong) and the spot hurt like hell. Wearing a band-aid made it not hurt at all because it kept me from hitting the stupid thing. Well, I had decided to do dishes and got my band-aid wet, so it fell off. I needed a new one, but couldn't find one at the Aqua Grand. Meanwhile I was texting John (like normal) and had mentioned this to him. . . so what does he do? He delivers a handful of band-aids for me. . . .

Another day, life was insane at the Aqua Grand and I was talking to John, telling him about my day and that I was hungry. He asked what I wanted and like 10 minutes later I was eating. And if I remember correctly he brought me enough food for like a week. Haha. . .

I have never had a guy willing to go out of his way to just help me without expecting anything out of it. And he certainly didn't seem like he was expecting anything out of it. I didn't ever feel pressured when I was with him. He did mention at a couple points that he wanted to date me but when I said I wasn't ready he said he would wait.

And he did. Patiently.

When I told him I wanted to move to Mackinaw for real, he helped me find my apartment and move in. . . OK, he did all the work. He got me on Mackinaw City's Fire Department and just kept me company in general.

That's what got me. Had he been pushy or moody, I would have been very *very* hesitant to give him a chance.

I had time to get to know him. Time to decide whether I wanted to give him a chance. Time to realize how great he was. Time to realize how well he treated me. Time to realize what I wanted.

We've been able to spend quite a bit a time together lately, thanks to not-so-crazy work schedules and no fire meetings in the last week. We went for a walk in the woods, went grocery shopping, watched a movie, got (three) Christmas trees and drove around a lot (he drove, I knitted, we talked). It was great. :)

Also, he's met my parents. And they both like him. . . not only do they like him, they both like how he makes me feel, how happy I have been, how comfortable I seem.

Now you know. . . :)

Oh!! One more story. . . The other day when I was at work he told me that he had a surprise for me. Now, those of you who know me well, know that I don't mind surprises IF I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THEM. He knows this, but insisted on telling me that then not telling me what the surprise was, ass. Well, I came home from work (well, went to his place from work) and found a bouquet of flowers, just because he could. This is incredibly significant to me for two reasons. 1) I once told one of my friends that if I ever found a guy who got me just because flowers, I was never going to let him go. 2) I had NEVER gotten "just because" flowers. Sorry Flowers? Yes. Birthday Flowers? Yes. Valentine's Day Flowers? Yes. Yay Day Flowers? Yes. Just Because Flowers? NO.

My flowers. :)

us.

Yes, it snowed for the first time while we were looking for Christmas trees. . .

♥ Sara

“Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with."
-Gillian Anderson

Number 73 Completed. Updates on WIP.

2010-11-21T13:16:00.008-05:00

Completed: 73. Write a letter to myself to open at the end of 1001 days.

Believe it or not, I was surprised to find this task to be rather difficult. I mean, what do I say to myself that I would want to read in 2.75 years? What will make sense? What will make me happy to hear? What will upset me? I have no idea. . .

But, I wrote it. I tried. And it's 3 pages long. I'll let you know on August 14, 2013 whether it was what I wanted to hear or not. Maybe I'll even share what it says then. :)

The Letter, Signed, Sealed and Delivered.

Just waiting for the end.

___________________________________

Works In Progress:
12: Read 50 books.
I've started two. Hoping to have at least one done by the end of the week, at which point I will write a review and post a picture of the book for you. :)

52: Send or give 101 cards, not including Christmas cards.
Before I left Friday, I dropped off a card at John's house for him to get when he got home. He has been so good to me and I just wanted him to know that I *really* do appreciate it. (See Happiness post for the entire story about John.)

The Card I Gave John.

63. Grow my hair (with trims) for the next 1001 days. Donate hair when I finally cut it.
This might be one of the hardest (or one of the easiest) tasks on my list, depending on the day. I'm beginning to really love my hair longer (and will take a "before" picture soon here, probably tomorrow or Tuesday), but growing it for almost three more years. . .that could be a chore. And then donating it at the end could be rather difficult as well. Then again, by then it will be so long that I could cut off a bunch and it would *still* be long! We'll see!!

69. Save $10 for each task I complete.
I transferred $10 into my savings account. But I'm debating whether I want it there or in a jar somewhere. What will I do with it in the end? Well, that is TBD. I still don't know where I'll be, what I'll be doing or what I'll need in 2.75 years!

84. Join postcrossing.com. . . .
Well I got that much done! And I received my first address. Tomorrow I'll mail out my first postcard (along with my bills, ew!). . . I'll keep updating on that one.
______________________________________________

Just a note: the list is subject to change, especially if I find the tasks easy to complete. :)
♥ Sara

"We should all be concerned about the future because we will have to spend the
rest of our lives there."
-Charles F. Kettering

101 in 1001.

2010-11-17T11:09:00.022-05:00

Well. . . here's the new challenge, as promised. The goal: complete 101 things in 1001 days. Now, I feel the need to tell you that I had to delete like 50 things from my original list. So if this goes well there will be Part 2. :)

Start Date: November 17, 2010
Finish Date: August 14, 2013

Taken from The Day Zero website
The Challenge:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on your part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple challenges such as New Year's resolutions or a 'Bucket List'. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organising and timing some tasks such as overseas trips, study semesters, or outdoor activities.

So, without further adieu. . . my list. Some are blank because the task has to be a secret in order for it to work, but will be filled in once completed. The tasks I am currently working on will be in italics and blue. The completed tasks will be ~~struckout and purple.~~
____________________________________________

Back to Childhood

1. Build a blanket fort.
2. ~~Build a gingerbread house. (bought, but not started)~~
[12.23.10]
3. Build a snowman.
4. Carve a pumpkin.
5. Complete a coloring book, cover to cover.
6. Dress in a costume I put together ahead of time for Halloween.
7. Dye Easter Eggs.
8. Fly a kite.
9. Get my picture taken with Santa.
10. Jump in a pile of leaves.
11. Make a snow angel.

Books/Movies

12. Read and review 50 books, including 10 recommendations from friends. (3/50)

[Smoke Stories, P.S. I Love You, The Notebook]
13. Read the Bible. (0/66)
14. Read the entire Chronicles of Narnia. (0/7)
15. Watch 10 documentaries. (0/10)
16. Watch 101 new movies. (7/101)

[Grown-Ups, A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Bounty Hunter, Nothing Like the Holidays, Saints and Soldiers, Miracle at Santa Anna, Get Smart]

Creativity

17. Complete the 100 snapshots challenge. (0/100)
18. Complete a 26 things scavenger hunt. (0/26)
19. Complete a cross stitch project.
20. Complete a fill-it-in book (without dad taking it over!). (3/104)
21. Complete a painting on a canvas.
22. Decorate a cake (after learning how of course!).
23. Find a personally inspirational quote and work it into a piece of art/home décor.
24. Get a sewing machine and learn to use it.
25. Learn calligraphy.
26. Learn how to fold origami.
27. Learn to crochet.
28. Make an encouraging banner.

Food/Exercise/Health

29. Complete the 200 sit ups challenge.
30. Don’t drink alcohol for 101 days. (0/101)
31. Don’t eat fast food for one month. (0/30)
32. Drink two bottles of water each day for a month. (0/30)
33. Eat 5 things I’ve never tried before. (0/5)
34. Get a new bike and use it.
35. Go vegetarian for 2 weeks. (0/14)
36. Go without any pop for 2 weeks. (0/14)
37. Learn how to roll sushi.
38. Make someone breakfast in bed.
39. Run a 5K.
40. Try 101 new recipes. (12/101)
[Chocolate Covered Caramel Cookies, Chippy Cookies, Cowboy Chip Cookies, Blackberry Ribbon, Cookie Dough Truffles, Chocolate Balls, Oreo Truffles, Candy Cane Fudge, Snowballs, Sugar Free Eclairs, Kiss Pies, Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Dip]
41. Try 5 new subway sandwiches. (0/5)
42. Try 10 new restaurants. (3/10)
43. Work out at least 5 days a week for a month straight. (0/30)

Giving Back

~~44. Become an organ donor.~~
[01.18.11]
45. Buy a stranger dinner.
46. Collect all my change for 101 days – spend it on something that would make someone else happy. (0/101)
47. Donate blood.
48. Donate to toys for tots.
49. Get the CCFFA’s website up and running.
50. Send anonymous flowers.
51. Leave 5 inspirational notes for other people. (0/5)
52. Send or give 101 cards (other than Christmas). (Including . . .) (4/101)
[11.19.10, January 2011, 01.15.11, 01.19.11]
53. . . .
54. . . .
55. . . .
56. Volunteer 101 hours (fire department doesn’t count unless it’s actual volunteer time). (0/101)

Just for Me

~~57. Answer the 50 questions that will free your mind.~~ (50/50)
[12.03.10]
58. Buy myself flowers.
59. Don’t swear for a week.(0/7)
60. Find a better job.
61. Get a manicure.
62. Get a massage.
63. Grow my hair (with trims) for the next 1001 days. Donate hair when I finally cut it. (82/1001)
64. Identify 101 things that make me happy and identify 101 things that make me angry. (0/202)
65. Keep a diary for a year. (needing to start over. . . )
66. Make a list of 50 things I like about myself. (0/50)
67. Make a video (or a series of videos) of my everyday life.
68. Make and lock a time capsule.
69. Save $10 for each task I complete / Donate for those I don’t. (3/101)
70. Send a secret to post secret.
71. Spend the entire day in my pajamas with no homework or housework.
72. Wear my hair down for a week. (And not just straight everyday.) (0/7)
~~73. Write a letter to myself to open at the end of 1001 days.~~
[11.21.10]
74. Write down all my bad memories/pain. Burn them.

Random New Experiences

75. Go an entire month without buying anything that isn’t a necessity (keep all receipts to prove it). (0/30)
76. Go a week without wearing black. (0/7)
77. Go camping alone.
78. Go ziplining somewhere other than Barakel with dad.
79. Go on a roadtrip.
80. Go to a haunted house.
81. Have a candlelit dinner.
~~82. Have a successful New Year’s celebration.~~
[01.01.11]
83. Have my annual Christmas Cards out by December 1.
84. ~~Join postcrossing.com.~~ Send and receive 10 post cards. (1/20)
[12.18.10]
85. Kiss under a mistletoe .
86. Learn to drive a manual transmission. . . well.
87. Ride on a train.
88. Tie a note to a balloon and let it go.
89. Visit a state I’ve never been to.

Miscellaneous

90. Buy a magic 8 ball and base my decisions on it for one day.
91. Buy a pair of cowboy boots.
92. Buy something from etsy.
93. Buy a lottery ticket.
94. Go back to church (at least once).
~~95.~~ ~~Go fishing.~~
[02.02.11]
96. Go to a zoo.
97. Go to the Island.
98. Go ice skating.
99. Have a picnic.
100.Have a sleepover with just the kids and I.
101.Watch the fireworks on the 4th of July.
_________________________________________

I will be taking a picture of the completion of each task, and possibly the progression. And I will obviously be blogging about it. When I wrote the blog, I will also be explaining why the task made the list. In order to keep track of this (and any other project I've done here), I will be using tags. The tag for this one is going to be 101 in 10001 and each completion will also be tagged with the category. I also intend on bookmarking this post on the left hand side column, if I can figure out how! ;)

I know, you're wondering. . . why this, Sara? Well, if you read it all you know that these are tasks that can be completed without much finances, and with just a little effort. Whereas, my bucket list has mostly go big or go home tasks on it (and I have a few to add to it, so look for those here in the future). And you know that my life consists of me challenging myself repeatedly, this is just another challenge. :)

I hope you enjoy this journey as much as I am planning on enjoying it!

my newest necklace.

the other side.

♥ Sara

“Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”
– Theodore Roosevelt

Goodbyes.

2010-11-16T18:12:00.008-05:00

Have I told you that I hate goodbyes?
Have I told you that I hate sad endings?
Have I told you that I hate having my heartbroken?
Have I told you that I hate crying?

All of the above are true. Yet all of them have happened far too often in my life, and especially since this blog was started. Now this one I saw coming for a long time (read: the past six weeks). And somehow I kept the entire situation out of my blog. . .maybe because I fell off the face of the earth for it. . . maybe because I didn't know what to write, how to say it, or even what to say.

Now, I'm not going into details on this one, because, well I don't feel like it right now.
I had fun.
I felt comfortable.
I trusted.
I fell hard.
I've hurt for weeks.
I've cried my tears.
I've come to terms.
I've said my goodbyes.

Instead of detailing the situation, I'm more interested in writing what I've learned, not just from him, but from every failed relationship (or not relationship) I've had. And mind you, there's more than one point for each one. . . fortunately, I seem to learn more than one lesson per relationship. If you are an expert on my life, you will probably be able to put a name with each point.

If you're in a long distance relationship and he disappears for a long time, then acts weird, it's because something [bad] is up.
If he cheats on you, dates her and then comes back to you, he'll leave you again, quite possibly for her.
If he allows his family to treat you like shit, he'll probably join the ranks soon.
If he seems like a possesive scum bag, he probably is.
If he ever acts violent towards you, it's likely not a one time occurance and will quite possibly get much worse, never better.
If he sabotages your friendships, think about why he would do that.
If he threatens to leave you, tell him to follow through.
If it's a long distance relationship and you don't want to see him, here's your sign.
If things are moving too fast for you, say something.
If he says he would choose a hobby over you, remember you deserve better.
If he says all he wants is to get married and have kids, that's really all he wants, it doesn't matter who it's with.
If you can't get him out of your head, there's a reason.
If it's a long distance relationship and he doesn't want to see you, here's your sign again.
If it appears he is into someone else more than you, he probably is. Don't be surprised when he starts dating her.
If he can't stop talking about his ex and how in love with her he was, he still is and nothing you can do can change that.
If you fight *all* the time, it's never going to work.
If you can date other guys and not speak to him for weeks, he's just not right for you, no matter how great he is.
If he's unwilling to commit to you, he never will be, don't waste your time.
If he promises to call and never does, you just aren't important, find someone who thinks you are.
If he treats you differently while drinking, he needs to choose, you or alcohol.
If he promises to change the way he treats you, hold him to it.
If you have promised yourself to never hand out second, third, fourth, or fifth chances, remember why.
If he treats you like shit, move on. . . there is someone out there who will treat you better.

I could write more. . .but there are some things I am unwililng to share about my life. (I know, it's a shocker.) I have contemplated writing an anonymous blog where I would feel comfortable sharing *everything*. . . . maybe someday. But not today. I still love this one. :)

So, here we go again. Moving on. Picking myself up off the ground. I've been down for a while this time though. Today is more of a relief than a sadness. And it's certainly not a shocker. And you better believe that I'll be doing something . . . something . . . new? with my life here soon. By my life. . . I mean my life/blog. Yes, I have a plan, you will see either tonight or tomorrow. That's a promise.

Song of the Day:
White Horse by Taylor Swift
[Self explanitory. :) ]

my ring, with a little bit of editing ;)

The real pic is on facebook.

♥ Sara

At the end of the day, it's about weather YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn't working.. to recognize that it wasn't giving you what you needed and deserved.

So many of us find ourselves saying "BUT HE WAS SO GREAT!" Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it's important to remember that they did.
-Above 2: It's Called A Break-Up Because It's Broken

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstarted to me that they're
trustworthy and honorable -- and into me.
-He's Just Not That Into You (the book)

The Penthouse Part 3 - The Video Tour

2010-11-15T17:45:00.005-05:00

Just for you, Mom (and whoever else wants to watch it)!! :D

Sorry I look like crud. . .I've spent the day cleaning, organizing and doing homework. . . . :-/

♥ Sara

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been."
-Robert Brault

The Penthouse Part 2 - Photo Tour.

2010-11-15T16:10:00.005-05:00

Since my mom can't come visit I decided to do a photo tour of my apartment for her, after many requests. Sorry mom, I wanted to make sure it was clean before I took pictures!!!

The stairs I will someday fall down.

My tiny kitchen.

My refrigerator *almost* opens all the way.

The rest of the kitchen.

Tiny sink.

The bathroom.

The infamous shower.

Ok, I can't stand up here. . .

I have to kneel or sit to shower. . . :-/

Dining table. . . into living room.

Vanity, dresser, bed, other dresser.

The view from the corner of my living room.

My living room.

Overall, I like it! :)

♥ Sara

"To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had
rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their
closet."
-Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1825

The Penthouse.

2010-11-08T14:41:00.008-05:00

Welp, yesterday I officially moved into my new apartment. I worked until 1, then unloaded my car. While I waited for dad to get here with his truck, I went with John to pick up a couch for the apartment. By the time I got back Nick and Dad had the truck unpacked with the exception of the big stuff. Dad and I took the mattress up then "supervised" the guys carrying up the rest. I have to say, it was some good entertainment. The door had to be taken off to get my box spring in the apartment, and the couch never did fit, no matter how they turned it or how hard they pushed. And it wasn't even *my* couch. [Those of you who helped me move before remember the disaster that my old couch was to move! In this blog post there is a pic to help you understand the mess that moving that couch was. My friends loved it. We even had to take thedoor off for that one too!]

*Thank you to Dad, John and Nick for helping!*

My new apartment is on the third floor (again) of an old house (aka, the attic) in Mackinaw City. Dad calls it the penthouse because I have the entire top floor, not hardly. I know, I'm *so* good at picking apartments to live in. (My old apartment was also on the third floor and a huge pain in the ass to move into, yet easy in comparison to this one.) But it's perfect for what I needed, I wouldn't mind a much larger kitchen, but sacrifices had to be made. And the shower is, well, an experience. (And if you ever come visit you will get to see exactly what I mean.) I'll post pictures on this blog as soon as I get them taken.

I am excited to be on my own. Excited to have the independence. Excited to not have to get up for work at five (blargh) anymore. Excited that once it starts snowing I won't have to turn a 45 minute drive into an over-two-hour drive because I won't be able to see a thing in a few spots. Excited that my parents and the rest of my family still only lives a short distance away and that I don't have to drive five hours to see them. Excited that when my family has get-togethers I can now request the afternoon off and go! Excited that my friends can come visit and have a place to stay (as long as they don't all come at once, lol).

Yes, some of these things make me nervous. But I'm definitely more excited than nervous! Be patient for the pictures, I want to get everything unpacked and my apartment cleaned before I take them. :)

one of the first pictures I took of the Bridge. . . IN NOVEMBER!

Song of the Day:
Speak Now by Taylor Swift
[I have been obsessed with this song lately. And I don't see there ever being a case where I want to use it because I relate to it (goodness, I hope not!!) so I figured I would post it here.]
♥ Sara

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-A. A. Milne

Oops.

2010-11-05T12:41:00.003-04:00

Wow, I did *not* intend 'closure' to be my final blog for over 2 months. I had no idea what my life had in store for me. I've learned to not expect anything and to be willing to handle whatever lands in my lap, even if it isn't something I want to deal with.

Let's see. Last blog was written on August 28 . . . I worked my normal 9 am til midnight until Saturday the fourth of September. The morning girl called in sick and I ended up working an eighteen hour shift. Now before you think that is insane, listen to this. . . The next day I started work at noon, at noon Monday I clocked out. That is correct, I worked a 24 hour shift on Labor Day (how appropriate). After that I took a couple days off. Since then I've been working more reasonable hours, never over 80. Now I'm on a 40 hour week. So different.

I also dropped most of my classes. I just couldn't handle the classes and 105 hour weeks. And now there seems to be something going on in my life at all times so I'm only taking a couple classes.

I will be moving to Mackinaw City next week. All. By. Myself. This will be the first time ever that I moved somewhere alone. (Yes, I lived alone for awhile after Jeff and I split, but I was home every weekend and Katie stayed with me often.) I am very excited about this. I also joined Mackinaw City's fire department this week.

I don't have much time before I need to head to work, so I am going to leave it here and I will be posting again soon. Sorry for disappearing on you, but once I get moved in and settled I *should* have plenty of free time! :)
♥ Sara
"Leaving home in a sense involves a kind of second birth in which we give birth to ourselves."
-Robert Neely Bellah

Closure.

2010-08-27T17:47:00.005-04:00

As those of you who have been known me forever (or have been reading my blog for a while) know, I was engaged once upon a time (March 2008) and I called it off (January 2009) because I wasn't sure that he was right for me. I had a lot of issues to deal with and I didn't want to make a huge mistake. In fact, my first post was explaining this to everyone. And I still hold that there is nothing wrong with him and that he was/is a great guy. Not once in the past year and a half plus have I regretted that decision or wished I would have stuck it out. I know I made the right decision, not only for me, but for him as well.

He started dating one someone a couple weeks after the split and was engaged shortly after our would-have-been wedding date (September 2009) and they set a date for August this year. Last summer, she made him remove me from his life. In all honesty, I don't blame her one bit. I'm not sure how I would handle that situation either. It broke my heart because he was so much to me, even after all romantic feelings were removed. But I supported their relationship and wasn't going to do anything to cause problems for them. I truly did love him (just not in a romantic, I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you way).

She is still facebook friends with me. So, for the past week I have been watching their wedding pictures come through my newsfeed. Of course, I had to look at some. In doing so, I can say I'm truly happy for him and hope nothing but the very best for him and his wife. On the other hand I can't help but feel a little jealous (as I am with most of my friend's relationships). He was my security blanket and he saved me (I don't really want to go into details about what that means, not here, not now). And I really do miss our friendship.

My jealousy isn't that I want to be with him, not at all. It's that deep down I desire that type of relationship. But then again if you are an avid reader of this blog, you know that. I just hope someday I find it. Maybe one day I'll find the guy that can handle me for the long haul. For now, I'm pretty content. I still hold that I'm not going to jump into anything unless I'm sure it's what I want and therefore the right thing for me.

I figured I would share this with you, seeing as I share nearly every part of my life since that relationship ended here and I feel as though this brings some sort of closure to that small part of the story that is my life.

Song of the Day:

My Wish by Rascal Flatts

[Seems pretty fitting for this post. And therefore I would say it is self-explanatory.]

♥ Sara

"The highest happiness on earth is marriage." -William Lyon Phelps

Reflections.

2010-08-08T14:22:00.008-04:00

on my way to my day off. . .

cooler with drinks, steak and salad + wood for a fire + private beach = perfection.

If I was to say my life right now was all I had imagined it would be at any point during the last ten years, I would be lying. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be working a over 100 hours a week and living in Mackinaw, I would have looked at them like they were crazy. Hell, a year ago I was still trying to stay in Kalamazoo!

Now, I'm not saying I hate my life or anything like that. It just makes me think about what could have been and what is to come. This is where my mind tends to wander while I'm at work for at least 15 hours a day.

I'm going to divide my thoughts into separate sections partially for your benefit, but mostly for mine to keep myself from rambling too much. :)

sunset at the end of my parents' road.

Love

I'm sure it shocks everyone (or no one) that this made my list of things to ramble about. I think the longer I am single, the more cynical I become. I don't know how to explain it. In the past, what, 5 or 6 years, this is the longest I have been without a relationship (I know, it's only been like six months. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing.). I find myself thinking critically of other people's relationships and looking back at my past relationships and wondering if love actually exists. I'm not talking about familial love, or friendship love. I know for a fact that they exist, which I will likely write about later in this post.

Maybe it's not so much love that I doubt as it is the idea of a soulmate or one person who is right for me. Maybe it's my doubt in other people that leads me to doubt love in this sense. Maybe it's my doubt in my future. Maybe it's the fact that I have been let down in the past and I'm afraid that it will happen again, or that I will make it happen to another person.

Now, I'm sure I could be in a relationship if I wanted to, but I have decided I will not do so unless I'm 100% sure of it. And I'm not. I have been through too many shitty relationships to get myself in yet another. Plus, right now, I work too many hours a week to even entertain the idea of a relationship with anyone. I get nine hours a day off work. That is barely enough time to sleep, shower and get ready for work. Certainly not enough time to share with another person.

I LOVE roasted marshmallows.

Work

Speaking of work. . . it is my life. I have no time for anything else. I have quit drinking completely (I didn't have a problem, I just don't have the time and it's easier this way.), so going out is rare. I guess that's a good thing though because I don't have time to go out. I have to say it is interesting around here. Between guests, coworkers and random things that happen it's rare that a day goes by without something exciting going on. I think at the end of the season I'll write about my work experience and share some of those things with you. Or maybe I'll video blog about it. :)

I am looking forward to the end of the season though, when work is over. But it's not like I'll be done for good, most likely I will be working for mom this year. Ya'll know I can't stand not doing anything. And now that I have been working this much I can't imagine not doing it. I hope that makes sense.

Starting after Labor Day, whenever we have less than twenty rooms rented, I will have the day off. Pretty much, I will be working only on the weekends after Labor Day. I will still be getting a minimum of 40 hours a week. I'm definitely not upset about that. I will probably be thrilled to have the break by then. :)

the sand between the lake and the stream.

School

I don't think I mentioned it before because I wanted to figure out if I am going, where I am going, when I am going and what I am going for before I brought it up. I have decided that I am fact going. I will be starting my Master's degree through Liberty University August 23. My classes are all online, so I will be able to do it from the comfort of home, er, work. For the first month or so of classes I will still be working. Yes, I am aware that I am insane.

What am I going for, you ask? Well, my heart and my head were torn. It was between a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and a Master of Business Administration with an emphasis on Accounting.

My heart wanted to go for the MA because it would put me in a better position to help people in my job. If you know me well, you know that I have a strong desire for helping others, and like my love issue, that will be discussed later on. But this field isn't exactly a happening field to be in. Also, marriage and family therapists don't make very much money, especially not in the beginning.

My head wanted to go for the MBA because it would lead to more jobs, and most likely more money. I wanted to have an emphasis on accounting because I know that is something I (somewhat) enjoy and I can then sit for my CPA exam.

I'm sure you can figure out that my head won. I feel that it should have and that I made the right decision. (I'll let you know if I still feel that way in a couple years.) I have to take two undergraduate classes in the fall for prerequisites, then it is graduate classes from then on out. I know my grad classes will be ridiculous, so hopefully work won't be so intensive when I start them. Wish me luck! :)

my parents

Family

I felt like including family in this blog because working here makes me appreciate my family even more than I did before. Believe it or not, I think I miss them more now than I did when I was living in Kalamazoo. When I lived in Kalamazoo I was able to talk to them more often, and I was able to see friends and get out of my apartment. Here, I rarely leave my apartment/work or see people outside of my roommates and a few other employees up here. Thankfully, I have wonderful parents who come up to visit me now and then. Since I started the new schedule, they have promised to come visit once a week or so. I am so happy to hear this. :)

And I promised I would come back to the love thing. My parents are the reason I can say hands down that love does exist. They have been there for me through everything. And by everything, I mean everything. I cannot express here how much I appreciate them and all they have done for me. In fact, it's not even worth trying. I will just say I have amazing parents and even though there are times when I don't agree with them, and there are certainly times they don't agree with me, they are the best.

she hated the lake, but loved the stream. I think she was afraid of the waves.

he, on the other hand, couldn't get enough of the water. :)

Volunteering

I think volunteering is one of the things I miss most about being here. I missed the pregnancy care center even before working up here. Now I miss it even more. Something about being able to help people and knowing that I am making a difference just does something for me. I think I'm going to try to start working at a center up here when I'm done with the season, if I have the time.

If you know me well you know I thrive off of helping others. Hell, here I am referred to as "mom" because I cook and clean and take care of the guys as much as I can. Not because I am expected to or asked to, but because I want to. (But I do appreciate help from them now and then. *hint, hint* :)...)

I also miss firefighting, even though we hadn't had that many fires. I even miss doing maintenance stuff around the station. (Never thought I would say that one!) Last week they had a fire and I got a text message about it. I was so sad that I wasn't home for it. Oh well, soon enough I will be back to the house and able to go fire calls (if we ever get them) and will once again be able to go down to the station and work. Plus I won't have to miss meetings anymore!

I had an meeting for the party committee for the Fireman's Dinner, Dance and Auction last week on my last day off for the season. Yep, that's right, we are really planning ahead this year. I'm excited for February to get here for that. Put it on your calendars and come support us! :)

enjoying my last day off.

Last Day Off.

August 4th was my last day off for the season. I have to say it was pretty amazing. I was able to go home the evening of the 3rd. On my way home I stopped and got my ear pierced again, an industrial this time. Then I went to vote, picked Dad up from home and went to our fire meeting. I was able to get a FULL night's sleep, take care of some things that needed to be taken care of, then spend my entire afternoon/evening at the beach. I loved that my day included sun, Stephen King, steak, s'mores and a swimsuit. :) But now, I'm working every day, 15 hours a day. Oh well, in the end it will be worth it.

the dock I spent my day on.

Song of the Day:

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

[The lyrics are self-explanatory. The more time I spend thinking about my life, the more I feel like my planning is useless because it isn't going to turn out the way I planned anyhow, even though that might not be a bad thing. I'm just kinda along for the ride, seeing where life takes me. I don't feel like this is a negative thing, as long as I have accepted it, and I have. I'm excited to see where I end up in a year, or five, or even better yet, twenty-five. :) ]

♥ Sara

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
-Joseph Campbell

New.

2010-06-28T11:10:00.015-04:00

So, you are just going to have to bear with me through this summer. My blogging will not be very regular and I might not have a whole lot to say. Some things have happened since the last time I blogged though. . . .

1. I switched hotels, again. I now work at the Aqua Grand. (If you are coming to Mackinaw City and need a room, I know where you can get one!! :) ) And I'm staying at this one until it closes. There was a weekend about three weeks ago when I was supposed to be going to Kalamazoo for Krissi's birthday party. I had been planning on it since I started working, everyone was aware that I wouldn't be around. . . that is until one of the managers of the hotel I am working at now disappeared and the other was on vacation. So, I ended up giving up my trip to Kalamazoo and working there for the weekend. I decided to stay there after the weekend was over (of course after ok-ing it with other people). Since that weekend, I have been working a minimum of 70 hours a week. I get two more days off this summer. One is for my family reunion, which it is essential that I am at since I'm in charge of the damn thing. When I signed up for it I had no idea I would have a job where I'm working 7 days a week, a minimum of 8 hours a day. And the other is just before the the other desk clerk leaves for the season and I start working all day every day (as opposed to all day half of the week and half days the other half).

2. I'm living in Mackinaw. With how many hours I have been working I need to stay here to remain half way sane and successfully get a good night's rest. I live in an apartment behind the lobby of the hotel I work at. When the other manager quit, he left an open room behind, so I moved into it. I live with three guys (one of them being my manager, the other two manage other businesses as well). It's interesting, that's for sure. And since I am the only one who cooks and cleans (because I make time for it) I have acquired the nickname "mom." I like it up here and I'm pretty much married to my job for now. It won't be like this forever, and maybe that's the main reason I don't mind it so much. Only a couple more months and the hotels will be closing up and my hours will be cut way back. Right now I attempt to make it home at least one night a week and my parents do come visit me once in a while.

3. I GOT A CAR!! I bought a 2009 Ford Focus. I will be adding pictures eventually, I'll be sure to take some. :) I am so excited. I was able to get it financed on my own and had plenty to use as a down payment. I don't know if you understand how much that means to me. I went from not having a job to not only have a job, but being able to finance a car on my own and owning my own car with no help from mom and dad. I love being independent and this is just one more way I could do so.

4. I got a new camera. My other new camera had an accident at the all night diner. (She was dropped when drunk people were looking at pictures.) Luckily, I had the amazing warranty plan and they accepted it as a return right away.

5. I had yet another biopsy done. As you may know, I have Barrett's Esophagus, which is a pre-cancer of the esophagus. I have had it for three and a half years that I know of and I have to get a biopsy done every three years. This one came back the same as always. I still have Barrett's but it hasn't progressed any further so my doctor told me to not worry about it and we will do another biopsy in three years. At least this one was "normal" for me, unlike the last two, and Istill need to get my other mole removed. *makes note to self* (Maybe in October!!!)

I think that's about it. My life right now consists mainly of work and of very little else. The rumors about me haven't stopped. I don't know that they will. And I don't really understand why there is such a draw to me. But, whatever. The people I care most about know the truth, and that's all that matters.

To my friends, I'm sorry I have fallen off the face of the earth. I will see you all in the fall! :) ♥

Song of the Day:

Sideways by Dierks Bentley

[I love this song. It's one of the ones that comes on the radio and I crank it up. Unfortunately there is no "worked all week" it's more like "worked all summer." :) ]

♥ Sara

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." -Newt Gingrich

Rumors. . .

2010-06-07T02:45:00.002-04:00

Hi, my name is Sara and I love it when rumors are spread about me!

*NOT!*

Actually, most of the time I simply don't mind I let it roll off my back and continue on with my life, but when rumors about me screw up relationships (whether they are friendships or something more than friendships) then I am furious. Recently there have been two types of rumors spread about me and these rumors have affected friendships.

The first is the type of rumor that has some truth to it, but in which assumptions are made and accusations are laid out that change something innocent into something not so innocent. The second type is one that is 100% false and has no reality to it. Now, the first one isn't a huge deal if questions are asked and explanations are allowed. The second, on the other hand, is. I don't know, there is just something about making a story up that is entirely false that makes you a complete scumbag. Period. End of story. Yes, you, Sir Rumor Spreader, are a scumbag.

Now, what is even worse than that is when said rumors can also affect someone else's life and relationships. In this case, if the rumors were to go beyond the handful of people that currently know, that could happen. I hope for the sake of the rumor starters and for the sake of the other people being talked about that it doesn't happen. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees.

-------------------------------

This was written on the date shown for posting. Now, two days later, I have had more time to think and have come to a few realizations.

1. The rumor starter/spreader is in fact a scumbag. I am counting on karma to get him on this one. . . . for now. That is until I come up with a better solution. And if you know me, you know I will. No, no talking to other people will be done. I will deal with this head on . . . isn't that how I always handle my problems?

2. If you don't trust me enough to believe my side of the story, well I don't need you in my life anyhow, especially if there is no concrete evidence to the story you were told. I try damn hard not to lie and not to do things that would put me in a sticky situation. So if someone were to ask me straight up if I did something I would tell them. They might not like the answer, but I would give it to them anyhow.

3. I don't miss the person that I had written this about initially, but I am still pissed that these rumors are still being discussed, and I know they are. I guess one way to look at it is: if they are talking about me they are leaving someone who can't handle it alone.

Well, I think that is all I have to say about this for now, and I know I have other blogs waiting to be finished and posted so I will be doing that soon!

Song of the Day:

Rumors by Lindsay Lohan

[I had no clue she sang this song. . . but I thought it was fitting for the blog. That's all I really have to say about it. :) ]

♥ Sara

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, I'm already better than them." -Marilyn Monroe

It's Wedding Season. . .

2010-06-03T23:32:00.007-04:00

As most of you already know, I was engaged two years ago. (Wow, it's been two years.) And as I'm sure you have also recognized, it's wedding season! *sigh* Wedding season always gives me mixed feelings, has for years. Half of me dreams of getting married and having kids one day, yet I doubt that will ever happen. I'm not a pessimistic person in general, just when it comes to relationships and other people. Maybe it's because I've been let down, or maybe it's because if I don't have high expectations it's harder to be disappointed.

As a Weddingbook moderator (It's an application on facebook that has forums for couples planning their weddings. I became a mod two months after I got engaged and haven't stepped down yet, mind you, I called off the wedding a year and a half ago! I've considered quitting numerous times but I do love it there and I don't mind being the "single moderator.") I am constantly aware of wedding stuff. At times, it gets to me that I may never find that person, that I may never have that, but for the most part I just enjoy hearing about, helping and seeing happy couples (even if I get twinges of jealousy from time to time) and I LOVE seeing the photos of their big days.

Back to the purpose of this blog. I recently came across a blog entitled "My Ex-Wife's Wedding Dress." I am hooked. This guy recently got divorced and his ex wife left her wedding dress behind for him to do what he wished with it. Well his goal is to come up with 101 uses for a wedding dress. It is great. And in it he writes about what it's like going through the divorce, it's very interesting.

Prior to finding this blog I had been thinking about what I could do with my dress. It's gorgeous, but even if I ever do get married I don't see myself wearing it because it's "tainted." I don't know, it would be weird to get married in a dress that I bought for a wedding that never happened, ya know? Anyhow, I know I could try to sell it, but I don't know how likely it is that it would actually sell. It has been hanging in a closet for two years just waiting to be used for something. So I had tried thinking of a fun "project" I could use it for. I mean I would have to buy it off my parents first, or promise to buy my real wedding dress (if I ever have one) myself.

So here is what I have come up with, whether I go through with it or not, only time will tell. I won't be starting it until the end of summer at the earliest. . . I am considering doing a photo project entitled "52 Places To Wear A Wedding Dress" or "52 Things To Do While Wearing A Wedding Dress." Why 52 you ask? Well, I wouldn't want to do more than one a week. But one a week does seem like a do-able option. This project would have to include someone else, not always the same someone else, but I wouldn't be able to take the pictures myself and get the full effect. Plus, I figure wearing a wedding dress 52 different days in a year is going to get far more out of it than had I wore it the one day I was supposed to. Plus I think it could be one hell of a fun project. So I have started a list. Any additions to said list that you can think of can be messaged to me on facebook, commented here or emailed to me directly. :)

And since every post has pictures. . . here are the ones for this blog. . . me in the dress.

Song of the Day:

So What by Pink

[If you know my taste in music you would know that Pink is one of my favorite artists. I don't know, there's just something about a good-looking, badass, true to herself artist. Plus I tend to relate to some of her songs. And I LOVE this one. Once again, not directed at anyone in particular, but rather a whole group of people. :) ]

♥ Sara

“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free till they find someone just as wild to run with them.” -Sex in the City

(Ya know, I keep finding these quotes so I'm thinking I should probably actually watch an episode or two. lol.)

#117 - Completed.

2010-05-24T22:40:00.009-04:00

~~117. go out to eat alone.~~

Disclaimer: I have no idea how this blog got to be this long! So I will be subtitling it so you can skip parts you don't care about if you want! :)

Wednesday Thru Sunday.

So this couple days off thing might be rather beneficial for my blogging! I worked Wednesday thru Saturday like I had said. Then Saturday night I went out for a couple hours before heading home for the night. When I got home I crashed. I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping.

When I wasn't sleeping yesterday, I was figuring out my returns/exchanges for some clothes I ordered, eating strawberries and sugar with dad and hanging out with the kids. For as long as I can remember strawberries have been my favorite fruit. Ever. And Dad would often buy (and still does) pints of strawberries and we would (and still do) sit and eat them together while dipping them in the sugar bowl. Have you ever dipped strawberries in a sugar bowl? It makes a strawberry-sugar mess. Mom *loves* it when we do that. I swear one day I will buy her her own sugar bowl! :)

strawberry in the sugar bowl. :)

Jeremiah and Shianne were here for the day, I spent an hour or so hanging out with them in the hot tub. Yes, the hot tub when it was like 70 degrees outside, we didn't have it very hot. But it was fun, those kids are getting so big! I always said I would never say that. . . I still refuse to say it directly to kids, but those two make me feel old. Seriously.

Anyhow, after they went home, I took a nap, then watched a movie, then went to bed. I don't know what my deal is but I have been SO tired lately.

this fly was amazing to photograph. he let me take like 10 pictures of him.

Doctor's Visit.

Today I had to get up early to go to the doctor. When I went to see my family doctor about having my mole removed I reminded him that it's time for another biopsy of my esophagus. Well the doctor who did it before has since left the area so he had to find a new doctor for me. She is a gastroenterologist out of Petoskey and I actually liked her. She didn't give me any bullshit or tell me that the diagnosis couldn't be possible and she was very straightforward about what it means. Finally. Let's see if she keeps it up . . . I have my biopsy Tuesday then will be seeing her again shortly thereafter to go over my results.

For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Barrett's Esophagus, a condition that can lead to esophageal cancer, four years ago now. I went through three biopsies over a year and discussion of surgery then, but they opted out of doing the surgery and decided to just take care of my gallbladder at that time. So, I was told that in three years I would need to have another biopsy done. Well, I passed the three year mark by a couple of months now, I've kinda been putting it off. Something about going through a bunch of medical procedures drives me nuts. Of course, this will be my third biopsy in less than two months. Woo. Freaking. Hoo. Wish me luck, and I'm sure I'll have an interesting story after it. I tend to do crazy things when I'm sedated. And if any of you are interested in the procedure I will be going through it is called an esophagogastroduodenoscopy, also known as either an EGD or upper endoscopy. And here is a link to the site that I found to be most informative about it.

mom's ladyslippers are out.

Shopping.

When I got done at the doctor's office I decided to go shopping because I really wanted a white shirt for work. I ended up getting a couple shirts and an awesome pair of boots at the first store I went to and a couple of shirts, a few pairs of nylons and a few skirts for work at the second one. I went shopping at the right time! Everything I bought was on a major sale and I saved like 150% of what I spent. Score! And I have no buyer's remorse. My way of looking at it was that I have to go back to Petoskey Tuesday for the biopsy so I have a week to decide if I want to keep it all. . . Looks like I do. :) Who would have thought that shopping for work clothes would put me in such a good mood, especially when I don't feel content with my body at this time? (If you know me well you know that the days I feel content with my body are few and far between. . . ) In all honesty, I love that I have to get dressed up for work.

you know how I feel about dandelions! :D

Completing a Bucket List Item.

After shopping I was STARVING. I was going to pick something up from BAB for lunch. But then I remembered my bucket list and decided to knock off one of the items since it has been so neglected lately. So I decided to go into BAB and eat. It really wasn't bad at all. In fact, I think I actually enjoyed the time to myself.

self-portrait action shot.

Independence and Relationships.

I've always thought of myself as one of those people who needed someone with me, but I think I have changed a lot in regards to that in the past year and a half or so. I lived alone in Kalamazoo for a few months and didn't really even talk to many people outside of school, work and meetings. For the past few months, I have done pretty much everything by myself. Hell, I even go to the bar alone. (There will always be people I know there, but I drive there alone, go in alone, and go home alone.) It seems as though I have been realizing just how much I don't need other people. I mean. . .I am a people person, I need people in my life, don't get me wrong. But I'm not so much dependent on other people to do things or for my happiness, er, rather, to feel content.

I loved photographing this caterpillar, even though he wouldn't remain still. At all.

Never have I been so comfortable without a committed relationship in my life. I don't know, maybe my mind will change on that at some point. But not now. It is rather ironic to me that I feel that way now. I remember when someone close to me that he just had no desire for a relationship, that he was happier single and I thought he was freaking crazy. (Ya'll should know who I am talking about if you are an avid blog reader, or at least if you have been around since the beginning.) Now, I understand. I know part of it is that I have been hurt so many times in the past, and I really am that guarded now. Another part is that I now absolutely refuse to be in a relationship with someone until I feel absolutely certain that it is what I want. Plus, I love that I can talk to whoever I want, act how I want, dress how I want, eat what I want, exercise when I feel like it (or not! ;) ), and just do whatever I want whenever I want to without having to answer to anyone or explain what I'm doing and my reasoning for doing it. I feel so. . .. liberated.

Now, I know what happens every single time I go on a tangent like this. . . so yeah, we'll see if it happens this time! And no, I'm not hoping it will. But I'm also not going to pass up something amazing just because I'm scared if I feel it is right. I don't know if any of this made sense to anyone else. . . but it did in my head. And ya'll know the real reason I write is for my own benefit! :)

mom's spirea bush. (this is smaller than a quarter)

Back to life. . .

The Rest of the Day.

After I finished eating, I stopped and saw my grandparents. I haven't seen them in a while again because my work schedule isn't exactly visiting friendly, and when I'm not working I've been busy. So I visited with them for a bit, they seem to be doing pretty well. :)

Then I came home and spent some time taking pictures (the ones that are scattered in this blog). I hate how warm it is outside (It was 88 according to grandma and grandpa's thermometer.), but man, summer presents some amazing photo opportunities. The flowers are gorgeous. The sunsets are gorgeous, the sun itself is perfect, and the colors just pop! I still love photographing in the winter, and even moreso in the fall, but I have to find SOMETHING positive about summer! When I came in the house, I showed my parents my new clothes. They loved them! I spent some time organizing stuff in my room and filling out paperwork for my biopsy before I went outside to clean out the car.

It is so obvious I live in my, er, mom's car. I had clothes, shoes, food, coats and tons of garbage in it. I cleaned out all of the good stuff that didn't belong in there and dumped all the garbage in the garbage can then organized my stuff that I leave in the car (shoes, food, fire gear) in my trunk. So, once I vacuum it, it will be amazingly clean. :)

the reason summer is ok.

Once the car was cleaned, I came in and took a shower and got ready to go to dinner. Ben and I made plans last week for dinner but he cancelled on me so we rescheduled for tonight. It's always good to see him. And he's leaving for work again next week, so it was perfect timing. After our dinner I went to Walmart and did some grocery shopping. Then I went down to the lake and took some more pictures before heading home.

Now I'm sitting on my bed. Looking through my pictures. Thinking that it's probably time I go to sleep. I know, I'm boring! ;)

the lake after sunset.

Song of the Day:

Rain Is A Good Thing by Luke Bryan

[I love how catchy this song is. Plus I love rain! ;) Also, if you listen to it he says "warshin" instead of "washin" which makes me laugh. Katie always adds a "r" to wash. So she would like to visit "Warshington D.C." and "George Warshington" was our first president and she "warshes her clothes in the warshing machine." She says the r is silent when you spell it. *rolls eyes*

Anyways. . . the song is a good one. Oh and Luke Bryan is definitely worth looking at. :)]

♥ Sara

"I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves." - Shirley MacLaine

Time Off.

2010-05-19T11:11:00.006-04:00

Don't fall off your chair! Yes, I am writing a blog! :)

I had the past four days off and had a ton of goals for myself. The most important ones got accomplished, or almost accomplished. I also wanted to write a blog while I was off, so of course I am writing it five hours before I have to be back to work! Haha. I am such a slacker sometimes.

I even took some time to smell the roses, er, lilacs. :)

Work has been great. I have been working at least 40 hours a week. I actually enjoy it. I know, right? A job NOT in my field that I enjoy? I didn't expect to find that. And honestly, when I started there I didn't expect to enjoy it. I had a day off on Wednesday, it was the first day off I had aside from my fire exam in three weeks. Craziness.

Oh! My fire exam! I passed!!!! :) I got the call three days after the test. And all of the people that were in fire 1 and 2 with me passed as well. Very exciting!

All of my college classes are over now. FINALLY! I didn't remember what it was like to not have to worry about some form of homework or classes or something. These last four days have been incredibly relaxing. I didn't have to worry about homework, or going to class, or working, or looking for a job. Even when I was searching for a job and unemployed, it wasn't relaxing. I was so stressed out about the job situation it wasn't even funny. . .

while on my mini vacation I worked on developing my love affair with my new camera.

she (the camera) needs a name. any ideas?

I had a great weekend! I had been waiting for last weekend for a while and it turned out to be awesome. That's all I need to say about that, I think. I really am trying to NOT write about the details of my life until they are something that NEEDS to be written about or until it's something that is semi-permanent in my life. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not, but it does to me.

Anyhow, that was my Saturday and early Sunday. Sunday afternoon I had a fire meeting and filled air tanks. I spent Sunday night and Monday working on my laundry and putting it all away. I had SO many clothes to put away, and a couple loads to wash. Ugh. Hopefully I keep up on it from here on out. I do have a little bit more to do today before I go to work, but not too much.

Some shots. . . the first one was taken Sunday and the second was on Monday.

i love dandelions.

Monday I also had my mole on my back removed. :( I was so sad to see it go. But I was even more sad when my local anesthesia wore off! It hurt like crazy! Then yesterday I somehow ripped out a stitch (I had two or three, I was told three but dad could only see two.) and now it's open and hurts. Ugh. If this comes back benign, my doctor will not be touching anything on me that doesn't hurt. Seriously.

before I hopped in the shower to get ready to go to the doctor. see the mole?

where my mole used to be.

After my doctor's visit dad and I went and got ice cream and were going to the park to eat it. But he took me to the ball fields instead to watch Shianne play ball. And I got to take some awesome pictures of it! I was so happy because I rarely have time off when she has games.

my nephew.

my niece sliding into home.

Then last night we had our last Firefighters' Association meeting of the year. And by of the year I mean until September. The boys don't like having meetings in the summer because they are "too busy." *rolls eyes* It's amazing we get anything done only having 9 meetings a year. Ya know? Whatever works for them.

So, here I sit. Drinking my coffee. Listening to Drew Carey's annoying voice on the tv. (Mom watches Price is Right and I'm upstairs.) Thinking about how I should be putting away clothes. Dreading getting dressed and going to work. I know this week is going to be murder. I work 4 pm-midnight tonight, 8am - 4pm tomorrow, 4pm - midnight Friday and . . . . brace yourself. . . 7am - midnight Saturday. *sigh* Hopefully I won't work 8am - 4pm Sunday!

Well, I guess I'm off to put away my clothes. Thanks for reading!

Song of the Day:

Animal Crackers in my Soup by Shirley Temple

[Nick is going to hell because this song is stuck in my head. Sunday he was over and I said something about grilled cheese and tomato soup and he asked me if I was going to put animal crackers in it. I didn't get it. So we listened to the song. Yep. And it's stuck. So between that and the hippo song that I made him listen to I have a silly song in my head at all times. :) ]

♥ Sara

"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich." -Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford, "Identity Crisis," M*A*S*H

Delayed Posting. Sorry!!

2010-05-17T15:50:00.002-04:00

I came to check on my blog today, and realized that I never posted this video. Wow, I really do suck!! Here's a bit of an explanation as to why! :)

Recorded May 5th.

♥ Sara

"You do not need to be loved, not at the cost of yourself. The single relationship that is truly central and crucial in a life is the relationship to the self. Of all the people you will know in a lifetime, you are the only one you will never lose." - Jo Courdert

Catching Up.

2010-04-26T12:13:00.003-04:00

This was actually recorded April 22. Why it wasn't posted until now. . . I have no clue! I uploaded it to my blog then! Anyhow. . .enjoy.

♥ Sara

"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice."
-Steven D. Woodhull

Makeup.

2010-04-22T12:46:00.003-04:00

Day 29 - [04.20.10]

This is all the makeup I wear on a regular basis, the only thing that might change is the color of my eyeshadow and if my lip ring is in I rarely wear the lip gloss because it gets on the ring and annoys me. Let's see, I'll tell you a bit about my collection in the order that it is applied.

The compact is CoverGirl blush. It is the closest to just a nude as I could get. I started wearing it when I was sick and needed some color in my face so I didn't look like a walking dead person. Seriously.

The brown pencil is an eyebrow pencil. I use it (most of the time) to fill in my eyebrows. Part of the reason I do this is because they are kinda thin, the other part is because they are kinda light. The latter was the bigger issue when I first started using it because I was dying my hair black and I had light eyebrows, yeah, it looked weird.

The gray tube with the silver applicator is my eyeshadow. I have used strictly Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush eye shadow for years now. I love it. I wear the dark gray or the dark brown the majority of the time but I have all kinds of colors, so when I'm feeling up to it I can change it up.

The black Line Stilleto tube is the liquid eyeliner I use to line my lids and the corners of my eyes. I have tried various liquid liners over the years and I have decided that this is my favorite. I really like how it goes on and that the applicator doesn't fall apart like some other brands have.

Then I put on my kohl eyeliner on the rims of my eyes. I have used Rimmel Jet Black Kohl Eyeliner for YEARS. In fact, I know that it was the first kohl eyeliner I ever used and I have never felt the need to try a different one.

Finally I finish my eyes with mascara. I have used SO MANY brands of mascara over the years. I finally fell in love with one (Max Factor something. . . ) and then the stupid company discontinued selling their products in the US. So I tried a couple others and have decided that I really really like Maybelline Lash Stilletto. It works really well and I like how it looks. :)

Then, on days that I work usually, I apply CG Wetslicks AmazeMint lip gloss throughout the day. I love the AmazeMint line. It's put out by Crest and CoverGirl and is minty, so it makes my lips feel awesome AND it freshens my breath.

Ok, well that's all for my makeup! :D

Song of the Day:

All the Same by Sick Puppies

[This is the official video, but I liked the video for Free Hugs as well. The first time I heard Sick Puppies was when I saw the Free Hugs video years ago. I would watch the video repeatedly to hear the song, then I eventually bought Sick Puppies first CD. I actually really liked the whole CD, and there's a chance you might see them show up in my song of the days in the future.]

♥ Sara

"Taking joy in living is a woman's best cosmetic." -Rosalind Russell

New Shoes.

2010-04-20T10:09:00.000-04:00

Day 28 - [04.19.10]

These are my new work shoes!!! While I was in Kalamazoo I went shopping like I said I would and got new shoes for work. They are so comfortable. Thus far I don't think I have had more comfortable shoes. This is by far a good thing. I will have to stand for a minimum of 8 hours a day when I start at the Dockside, so I will need incredibly comfortable shoes. I honesty love these ones.

Song of the Day:

Chicken Fried by Zac Brown Band

[This song was playing when I got out of work. It puts me in a good mood and so I cranked it up and rolled the windows down. It's a good song, with a good beat and it's just one of those songs that instantly makes me happy when I hear it.]

♥ Sara

"Funny that a pair of really nice shoes make us feel good in our heads - at the extreme opposite end of our bodies." -Levende Waters

Laundry.

2010-04-19T20:19:00.000-04:00

Day 27 - [04.18.10]

Ahh, laundry. I tend to wait FOREVER to do my laundry, until it builds up and I really need something. Well since I don't have that many pairs of work pants I tend to have to do laundry more often than I used to. But this is about four or five loads of laundry. Plus the towels that I had already folded and put away. Oh and my socks, underwear and bras are already put away.

The worst part about all of it is that when you walk in my upstairs bedroom, aka the closet, you can't even tell that clothes are missing. I know, I know, I have issues with clothes. Maybe one day I will post a picture of my upstairs room and you can see the issue with clothes and shoes all in one. :)

Song of the Day:

Sober by P¡nk

[I love P¡nk, just in case you didn't already know that. I was listening to a bunch of her music while working on folding my laundry. This one isn't my favorite, but I'm saving the others for days they have meanings other than just that I like them. I highly doubt that this one will ever have more of a meaning than that I like it. So, I decided that it would be the song for today. :) ]

♥ Sara

"Women usually love what they buy, yet hate two-thirds of what is in their closets." -Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Breathe.

2010-04-19T18:03:00.000-04:00

Day 26 - [04.17.10]

I know I took a picture of my "Shit Happens" necklace in the last 365 project. I felt that it was significant enough to use for another shot. I love this necklace, or at least these charms. The charm spins and reads "SHIT HAPPENS" while spinning. But while stationary it looks like that. I found the charm in a bead shop in Kalamazoo and I bought every single one that they had in stock. I have made a bunch of them for gifts and a few for myself as well.

Also "shit happens" has become one of my many sayings. And this weekend was a perfect time to use it like 100 times in conversation. Plus, spinning the necklace is my favorite thing to do when I'm bored, or frustrated, or tired, or thinking. . . so it came in handy. :)

Song of the Day:

Breathe by Taylor Swift featuring Colbie Calliat

[I left Kalamazoo at least a day early (I may have left Monday had my work schedule allowed it and had I wanted to stay that long.). And in doing so, I heard this song on the way home and wrote it down in my little notebook so I wouldn't forget to use it for my song of the day. No, I didn't just go through a break-up but it felt even worse than one driving home. I couldn't help but feel like I lost two of my closest friends this weekend, like my relationships with them would never be the same. I really hope I'm wrong, but I'm not sure that I am. I couldn't wait to get back to my life here and attempt to forget about my weekend. I was not prepared for it in any sense of the word. I thought I would be able to handle seeing Justin and Katie together, and I could (barely) when they weren't all over each other. Unfortunately, that wasn't all of the time.

I guess this will be where I vent about my weekend. . . .

The first night, it was awkward and I actually ended up staying at another friend's house. The second day was awkward and thankfully I talked to Nick for a bit before he went to work, which really helped. But the night was just plain awful. I couldn't handle it. It hurt. Seeing them together just felt like betrayal all over again and made me nauseous. Luckily, I had a couple friends in Kalamazoo to talk to to make me feel better and allow me to vent out some frustration and pain, then when Nick got out of work I got to talk to him for a while and he listened to me vent, sympathized, gave me advice, made me happy and took my mind off the situation. After I was done talking to him, I was able to make it through the rest of the night.

I'm not sure why it affected me as much as it did. Maybe because for the past three months they have refused to talk to me about each other, even though they do talk to me, so I have had no opportunity to get used to or prepare for it. Maybe because they act just like they did when Justin and I were together, but adding in kissing and a little more touching. Maybe because we all saw this coming and for months they told me that nothing would ever happen between them, which was the only reason I didn't flip out more a long time ago about how they acted toward one another when we were together. So now it's like throwing salt in a wound. Maybe because general PDA, and ignoring other people while being all over each other in their presence, annoys me. I would say maybe because I'm jealous, which I'm sure that is what some of you are thinking, but that's not it at all.

I'm really not jealous of whatever they have going on. I have my life. I am happy with my life. I am happy with what is going on in it, and that's why I left an awkward and hurtful situation to come back to said life and be happy. And in all honesty, within a half hour of being home, I was perfectly content. To me, that says something. That says, for the time being, I know where I need to be. That says, for the time being, I know what I need to be doing. That says, for the time being, I know what makes me happy. That says, for the time being, I know who makes me happy. And that says that for me, I made the right choice in leaving early and coming back home. No regrets. Ever.]

♥ Sara

"Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light." -Jean Giraudoux

Happy Fries.

2010-04-17T12:38:00.000-04:00

Day 25 - [04.16.10]

Krissi was drawing pictures on my fries with ketchup for me when we were at the Roadhouse for Katie's birthday party. The real significance of this picture is that I don't know how I would have gotten through the night without her. I'm sure I could have, but it wouldn't have been as easy. I really, really appreciate her, probably more than she realizes. Last night was rather rough on me and I do believe I will be posting about this more later, but for now I will leave it at that and say that it was Krissi, Caitlin and Nick that got me through it. I am incredibly thankful for good friends, and know that they don't come around often, so that makes me even more appreciative.

Song of the Day:

Telephone by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce

[I guess it's a Lady Gaga weekend! I am not a Lady Gaga fan and I can barely stand this song. It happened to play on the radio every time I was in the car yesterday, I swear. First with Sarah, Katie and Justin, then with the carload that went shopping prior to the party. And both times, over half of the people in the car hadn't heard it! So, I figured it was worthy of a song of the day slot. Plus it was the only way in hell this song would make the cut!]

♥ Sara

"A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." -Lois Wyse

Kalamazoo.

2010-04-17T12:27:00.000-04:00

Day 24 - [04.15.10]

Finally reunited with my best friend and back in Kalamazoo! I was so excited (yet nervous) to go back to the 'Zoo. When I got there I listened to Ed Rivet speak, then went out to Bilbo's with the Students for Life group. When I was in college I was the President of the group and love the people in it. It's how I met Katie and Sarah (remember, they made me the awesome cake last year when I was graduating). This picture was taken while at Bilbo's waiting for our pizza. Katie and I tend to take awesome pictures together, usually involving a ridiculous face for at least one of us. And since I am no longer doing the self portrait a day I figured I can use a picture I am in with someone else as my picture of the day. :)

Song of the Day:

Pokerface by Lady Gaga

[While I was on my way down to Kalamazoo I heard this song on the radio. It was one of the million songs that Katie and I had an obsession with over the summer. So I found it appropriate to use for the song of the day, especially when I considered the fact that I hadn't heard the song in FOREVER. I seriously don't remember the last time I heard it, then I just happened to hear it in the hour or so that I wasn't on the phone on my way down. Craziness.]

♥ Sara

"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day." -Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Comfort Suites.

2010-04-15T11:13:00.001-04:00

Day 23 - [04.14.10]

Significance? Well, this is where I am currently working. I won't be there forever, in fact I probably won't even be there for two more weeks. But I really do like it there. . . I like it there a lot. I wasn't hired for the Comfort Suites' front desk though, I was hired for Best Western Dockside front desk, so once the Dockside is open and up and running I will be transferring over to there. Anna, my boss who hired me, wanted me to train at the Comfort Suites with Benny, the guy who I refer to as my boss in all of the rest of my postings. So that's why I have been there for the past three weeks or so. Anyhow, work was a little slow, so I was messing around with my camera and took this picture. :)

Song of the Day:

Alright by Darius Rucker

[This was one of those days where everything just felt right in my life. Dan ended up not making it up because my aunt and his fiancée both got sick on the way up. I was disappointed that I didn't get to see him, but I understood. So I found other things to do with my day after I was done working. And I am just content with where I am in life right now. The only thing that could make it any better would be once I am done with my fire and college classes. :) ]

♥ Sara

"The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish." -Fred Barling, "Humorscope"

Baking.

2010-04-14T01:24:00.005-04:00

Day 22 - [04.13.10]

I spent a while today after work working on baking. My cousin Dan is coming tomorrow and I told him that I would put together a get-together with the family. So I decided to have it at the fire hall after dinner and serve desserts. So I made brownies, turtle cookie bars (they are by far the best), magic cookies, and Reese's bars. The plate of them in the picture is the plate that I put together to take to my boss. I told him I was going to go home and bake after work and he asked me to bring some in for him. I don't think he actually is expecting me to, but I put together the plate and will be taking it in to him in the morning.

Song of the Day:

According To You by Orianthi

[The first time I heard this song I instantly wrote down part of the lyrics so I could re-listen to it when I get home. If you were to look through my notebook or planner you would find lots of partial lyrics in them. I tend to do that often. Anyhow, I felt this song was very appropriate for my life about now. Minus the fact that I have little to nothing to do with the "you" in my life and quite a bit to do with the "him" in my life right now. That is definitely a good thing. And if I never have anything else to do with the "you" that is perfectly fine with me. :) Anyhow, the song is awesome, or at least I think so. . . so listen to it if you haven't yet.]

♥ Sara

"Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first." -Ernestine Ulmer

Happy Anniversary Mom and Dad!

2010-04-14T01:03:00.005-04:00

Day 21 - [04.12.10]

These are my work shoes. I had awesome work shoes that Eliza (one of the four cats) decided to chew up. So, I only had one other pair of good shoes that were not heels, and these are it. They are NOT comfortable and I would not recommend them to anyone to wear for an eight hour day of standing (even though I end up sitting for part of the day, they are still not comfortable). Luckily, I will be getting new shoes when I go to Kalamazoo this weekend, so it will hopefully no longer be an issue of awfully sore feet when I get home from work. :)

Song of the Day:

How Am I Doin' by Dierks Bentley

[This song isn't actually for me. It's more for someone who is really close to me and recently got screwed over. I heard it on the radio today and I instantly thought of him. :) If you are reading this, you know who you are. . . enjoy the song! And know in the long run you are better off! This song got me through a couple break ups. I don't know, I love relating music to my every day life. Period. End of story.]

♥ Sara

"A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year." -Paul Sweeney

Bowling.

2010-04-13T01:03:00.001-04:00

Day 20 - [04.11.10]

If you know me at all, you know I am incredibly competitive. So when Nick asked me if I wanted to go bowling with him after work, you know I was game. And that I was out to win. I wish you could see the breakdown of my game. I started out on fire, which made me feel good. It made me laugh because when I told him I needed to pick up my shoes he made a comment about how I must be really good. Yeah, I'm not, but while my score was nothing impressive, it was a hell of a lot better than his! And the second game was just as bad. Nick, you need to work on your bowling skills!! :P

In other, nicer, news, bowling in general was fun, as hanging out with him usually is.

Song of the Day:

Smile by Uncle Kracker

[This song is so catchy. I absolutely love when it comes on the radio and I felt that it was very appropriate for my day. I had a fabulous day and I'm not sure that Nick realizes just how great of an evening I had with him, especially with his "real date" comment. :) I'm sure he knows now. . . . I'm pretty sure he blog stalks me even though he doesn't admit it. lol.]

♥ Sara

"Beauty is power; a smile is its sword." -Charles Reade

Happy Birthday Shawnia!

2010-04-12T12:52:00.002-04:00

Day 19 - [04.10.10]

This was our last day of practical training for fire school ever. I am rather sad that it is almost over, yet incredibly happy to be done, if that makes any sense. I'll definitely miss seeing the guys on a regular basis, but I'm happy that I will have a large chunk of time freeing up. And I'll be even happier when I know without a doubt that I passed my exam and practical!

In the picture there was a team inside that was calling for more hose, so the guys outside were helping feed the hose in to them. We were doing smoke house training (the house was full of smoke, it's the closest we can get to a real life scenario without lighting a fire). We all went in in teams of two and rescued someone and I played victim a couple times. Man, being the victim is rough. I got drug down stairs head first. And I got the hose turned on on me. And someone ripped my boot off while trying to drag me. Yep. But I enjoyed most every moment of it. :)

Song of the Day:

Blame It On the Alcohol by Jamie Foxx

[I heard this song a couple times that day. Over the summer Katie and I listened to it a lot. That night we went out and celebrated Shawnia's birthday, so I figured it was an appropriate choice for song of the day. :) ]

♥ Sara

"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you'll discover will be wonderful. What you'll discover is yourself." -Alan Alda

Last Snow.

2010-04-11T23:58:00.001-04:00

Day 18 - [04.09.10]

I think the last snow of the season is my favorite. I mean I LOVE snow. Period. But I love the fact that it always returns for one last hurrah after everyone thinks it's gone for good, or at least for a few months. I know, I'm a little strange.

I went to work and everyone, I mean EVERYONE, was complaining about the snow. For the most part I kept my feelings of love for it to myself, mainly because of the odd looks I got when I said how much I love it, but also because I felt like I was rubbing it in. :)

So, I guess it is now officially time to say goodbye to the snow and hello to warm weather. *yuck.* I seriously belong in Antarctica. :P

Song of the Day:

All Summer Long by Kid Rock

[I found this song to be appropriate for the last day of snow, right? I mean we are now looking at summertime. . . in northern Michigan. Haha. And my daddio loves this song. He plays it often and I will find myself humming parts of it without realizing it because I had heard it when dad was listening to it earlier in the day. Not that I'm complaining. . . just sayin.]

♥ Sara

"The eskimos had fifty-two names for snow because it was important to them: there ought to be as many for love." -Margaret Atwood

R.I.P.

2010-04-09T11:38:00.005-04:00

Day 17 - [04.08.10]

My poor camera, may she rest in peace. Yep, that's right. My camera died. When I go to turn it on it says "lens error. restart camera." I've tried everything. No luck. :(

Thankfully, I received the camera as a gift from Justin for my birthday last year and he was smart enough to get me this awesome extended warranty thing where they will replace the camera as long as it wasn't stolen or fully submerged in water. Luckily, I neither of those things happened to it and I will be getting it replaced when I go to Kalamazoo next weekend.

I have no idea what happened to it. One day it worked, the next day it gave me an error. I'm so sad that it's dead though. I really liked that camera and I'm hoping that I can get the same one again. :)

Song of the Day:

Cowboy Casanova by Carrie Underwood

[No real significance to the song other than the fact that I like it and it's one of those songs that comes on the radio and instantly turn it up without even thinking about it. :) ]

♥ Sara

"No photographer is as good as the simplest camera." -Edward Steichen

Gifts.

2010-04-08T23:37:00.001-04:00

Day 16 - [04.07.10]

I did say this was going to be 365 days of significance, not that it had to be significant on the day that I took the picture. And although yesterday was crazy busy and just crazy AND it was my day off, there was nothing that I remembered to take pictures of or felt like I needed to share yet. (Plus, that's what the sporadic video blogs are for! :) )

So, about the picture. This is my ring, and my granny hand. The ring is incredibly significant to me. My parents got it for me for my 18th birthday. Now, you need to understand, I am horrible with rings. I have went through so many since I have gotten this one (ones that I wore on other fingers). I tend to lose them, or misplace them. But this one hasn't even been misplaced yet! *knock on wood*

I tend to find a great deal of significance in gifts, especially ones that are unexpected or took some thought. And I tend to remember who gave me things, I mean even small things. So obviously a gift from my parents that was unexpected and thoughtful is significant to me. :)

Song of the Day:

Soulmate by Natasha Bedingfield

[I heard this song twice yesterday. Once on my way to town and once while I was listening to launchcast. I hadn't heard it in FOREVER. It always makes me think of the Bachelorette. I only watched one season but it was the one where Deanna was on and her and Jesse had the date where Natasha Bedingfield performed and she played this song. I instantly loved the song.

And no, I'm not actively "looking" yet, nor do I think I ever will be. (I feel like I need to clarify because I know what the song sounds like.) Whatever happens, happens. I'm just not ready to get hurt again. Maybe my fear of being hurt will cause me to let a good thing slip though my fingers, but I can't help it. I can't help but be guarded right now. I guess I feel like if it is meant to be I will let my guard down, whether it's unintentionally or intentionally.]

♥ Sara

"The manner of giving is worth more than the gift." -Pierre Corneille, Le Menteur

Bubble Gum.

2010-04-08T23:30:00.000-04:00

Day 15 - [04.06.10]

Um, so yeah, ya'll know why he's significant! This is my nephew. Now, for the rest of the picture. . . we were blowing bubbles and trying to pop each other's bubble. Well, I obviously got him pretty good. He had gum stuck in his eyelashes and everything. Oops! (Remember, I'm like 8 at heart.)

I had agreed to baby sit the kids on Tuesday because their parents had to work. It ended up being a really great day with them. . . for the most part. They had a minor tragedy, but life will go on. Anyhow, I love those kids and love spending time with them.

Song of the Day:

Hey, Soul Sister by Train

[This song is so catchy and I seem to hear it at least once a day and it was stuck in my head again. All. day. long. I don't mind the song, but I don't love it either. But I do think it is incredibly catchy and find myself singing along with it and singing it even when it's not on my radio. :) ]

♥ Sara

"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky." -Fran Lebowitz

Movies.

2010-04-05T12:03:00.003-04:00

Day 14 - [04.05.10]

Oh yes, that is right. I watched these movies today. I had the day off and I felt like crap all freaking day. I started feeling sick a couple days ago and it just gets worse and worse by the moment. So, I spent the day in my cave watching awesome romantic movies and studying for my fire exam. (I've seen all these movies more times than I can count.) So ya'll know I'm not in a man hating mood, otherwise the list would have been more like Death Race, Wanted, Enough, Gladiator, etc. Haha, I know, you love my insanity.

So, seeing as these are some of my favorite romantic comedies/just romantic movies, I am going to tell you why and what parts are my favorites. If you haven't seen the movie, and don't want any spoilers. . . .don't read that section, they will all be titled. :)

Love Actually

If you have seen it, you know it is made up of stories about a bunch of couples that are all interconnected. If I had to choose three of my favorite stories it would be Juliet and Mark (the guy that's in love with his best friend's wife), Aurelia and Jamie (they speak different languages) and Sam and Joanna (the 10 year olds).

I know it's "wrong" but this is by far my favorite scene of the whole movie. It always has been and I'm sure it always will be. Maybe it's because I understand Mark, or maybe it's because what girl wouldn't like that to happen to her (assuming she's single)? I hate that the movie doesn't resolve that story, whether with them ending up together or him ending up with someone else, whatever. Oh well. I guess leaving it to my imagination is the best, although how I would end it would probably be "wrong" in some people's eyes. Aurelia and Jamie are just great because, well they learn each other's language so it can work out. How freaking awesome is that, seriously? Sam learns the drums to get Joanna's attention. And it works! I don't know, even though I'm not really a romantic person, these things all make me go "awwww."

He's Just Not That Into You

In high school, I bought this book after a bad break-up. The book was actually really good, and something that most girls need to read, I think. So when I heard about the movie coming out I was so excited to see it. The first time I saw this was a little over a year ago. I went with Katie and Sarah and the theater was packed. It was crazy. This was also the night that I was being attacked via text message by my exes friends, the night that I packed up and moved home for two weeks. Yep. So, when it came out on DVD, I bought it so Katie and I could watch it again. :)

My favorite story in this movie is the one with Gigi and Alex. I could seriously relate to Gigi, except for the fact that I'm not nearly that neurotic or obsessive, AT ALL. But it is a good story, and I love the line "am I the exception or am I the rule?" Now, in this movie the cheater and girl luring the cheater (Ben and Anna) are by far my least favorite section of the story. See, I'm not always on the "wrong" side. But this could just be because Ben is a jackass and Anna is played by Scarlett Johansson and I can't stand her.

Anyhow, if you haven't seen the movie, you totally need to! It's so good. I've even had guys say they didn't mind it. :)

Definitely, Maybe

Hmm, I'm trying to remember how I acquired this movie, or why. I think it was one of the $5 movies at Walmart. Maybe? I know the first time I watched it was with Katie. (Shocking, right?) I would obviously recommend this one as well. Although I kinda felt like the stories made it obvious who the mom was early on, the ending was great! I love the little girl and Ryan Reynolds is amazing. I don't feel like I can tell much more than this one because if you haven't seen it the spoilers would be catastrophic. :P

Song of the Day:

All You Need Is Love by the Beatles

[Well, I love the Beatles and I felt this song was very appropriate when combined with what I did for the day. And it was sang in the movie Love Actually. Plus I listened to it a couple extra times when trying to choose a song of the day. :) ]

♥ Sara

"Love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence." -Eric Fromm

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T19:11:00.004-04:00

Day 13 - [04.04.10]

When I got home from work today, Dad was sitting at the table eating candy out of his Easter basket. The first thing I asked was "Do I have one?!?" Dad told me to ask mom and she asked what kind of question was that and told me to go find it. It was in the second spot I looked, behind the chair in the living room. I rock. :P

I had been thinking about the whole Easter basket thing while I was at work today and was pretty sure that Mom and Dad had forgotten about it. Yeah, I was disappointed when I thought about it, but it wasn't like it was a huge deal. I mean, I am 22. I don't NEED an Easter basket. But let me tell you, I was so excited when I found out that I had one. It seriously made my day. :)

As you can see I got the movie the Blind Side. I saw it in theaters when it came out and I loved it and had told mom that I would be buying it when it came out, so I was really happy about that. And you can't see the Jelly Bellys that are hidden in the bottom, or the Fun Dip that was added after I got my basket. Yes, that's right, I really am like 8 at heart.

Song of the Day:

Hot n Cold by Katy Perry

[I heard this song on my way home from work and I was like "YES! Song of the day, right there!" Oh man I could write pages on why I chose this song. But I'm just going to say that it feels somewhat appropriate right now. AND Katie and I went through a Katy Perry phase this summer, so the song also reminds me of her.]

♥ Sara

"Easter says you can put truth in a grave, but it won't stay there." -Clarence W. Hall

Yum.

2010-04-04T14:53:00.003-04:00

Day 12 - [04.03.10]

This batch of yumminess is my granola trail mix stuff I make. I worked a full day yesterday and was smart enough to pack a lunch (go me!) but I realized that it a) wasn't the healthiest lunch possible and b) I didn't give myself anything to snack on.

So, on my way home I had to stop at Walmart anyways and while I was there I picked up the stuff to make this trail mix stuff that I made all the time when I lived in Kalamazoo to eat during class and when I worked at the gym. It has granola, almonds, pistachios, dried cherries and usually dried cranberries in it, but this time I couldn't find dried cranberries and I was getting irritated looking for them (I know, you're shocked. *wink, wink*) so I went with dried pineapple instead.

I haven't actually tried any yet, but I know that I loved it before, so hopefully the pineapple doesn't make it too weird. If it does, I'll just have to pick it all out.

Song of the Day:

Fallin For You by Colbie Caillat

[This song was on when I was in the shower, and then I heard it again later in the day. I know I said I wasn't going to say it anymore but I LOVE this song. And I LOVE the video even more. If you haven't seen it, watch it! It's rather unexpected. :) Hmm. . . what else to say about it? I really like Colbie Caillat. In case you haven't already realized, I listen to an odd variety of music, so this song of the day thing should be interesting and *should* have something for everyone, minus rap, I don't do rap.]

♥ Sara

"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." -Voltaire

Paint.

2010-04-03T19:10:00.004-04:00

Day 11 - [04.02.10]

Black is the only color that I have painted my nails since my junior year of high school. I have tried just about every brand of nail polish that you can imagine. Petites has been my favorite brand. The bottles are fairly inexpensive and they don't chip easily. I think that they are the best buy. And ya'll know I have gone through TONS of bottles of black nail polish.

Yesterday I finally repainted my nails before I went to work. Practical stuff for fire school and doing stuff at the station kills painted nails quickly. Thankfully, I've never been a girl who keeps her nails long, so that's never been an issue and I certainly don't care about a broken nail, unless it's one of those that rips down below the skin . . . those hurt. Anyhow, they were looking pretty bad and I figured I'm all dressed up for work, I should take five minutes and repaint my fingernails, so I did. :)

Song of the Day:

Pickin' Wildflowers by Keith Anderson

[Yesterday was another warm day, it would have been perfect for pickin' wildflowers. :) This song came on the radio on my way to work and I was driving with the windows down and radio blasting. And yes, I know what the song is really about, so don't go telling me I'm and idiot, haha. Also, last comment, I just watched the video for the first time and I have to say I'm a fan of the cowboy hat and earring. . .]

♥ Sara

"Sunshine is delicious, rain is refreshing, wind braces us up, snow is exhilarating; there is really no such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather." -John Ruskin

Caffeine.

2010-04-01T22:18:00.000-04:00

Day 10 - [04.01.10]

So if you know me, you know that I drink a lot of caffeinated beverages. I didn't realize how much until yesterday when I got out of work and had the WORST headache in the world. Ok, maybe not worst in the world, but worst that I have had, and I have had said headache more than once. It had been a while though and I was trying to figure out what the heck it was from. Well I called mom to tell her how my first day went and told her about my headache and she told me to go get some food and a pop. And that's when I remembered. . . . I have a severe dependence on caffeine, and I didn't have any coffee or pop that day. Aw, hell. It was BAD.

I got some dinner and drank my pop and was all better. But this led me to make the resolution that I will NOT go to work without a minimum cup of coffee in me and a caffeinated drink with me. There's no way I could deal with front desk work with the headache I had last night.

This leads me to the picture. . . Sugar Free Red Bull is becoming one of my drinks of choice. Ok, it has been one of my drinks of choice for a while now. And I have a mini-stock going on of them. So, this is my way to keep from getting my headache and to remain happy at work, or school, or wherever I may be. I'm definitely a fan.

Song of the Day:

Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects

[This song was the theme song of the Bold and the Bitchy, aka the Soap Opera name I came up with for the 409 this summer, back when they had drama. It is now the song that I associate with my best friends, and is the ring tone on my phone for anyone from the 409. I'll admit, I get rather excited when I hear my phone playing that song!]

♥ Sara

"I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!" -Author Unknown

First Day.

2010-03-31T23:36:00.003-04:00

[Day 9 - 03.31.10]

Well, this is my punch card for work. Significance? Um, I HAVE A JOB! I had to take a picture that was job related so I could talk about it! Today was my first day of work, and I actually really liked it. It'll take me a day or two to get everything down and to remember everything and to feel comfortable. And my boss guy is great. . .he won't be my boss for the long term, the lady who hired me will, but her hotel isn't open for the season yet, so he's training me.

It makes me laugh because he was worried about me trying to learn too much in one day. But I found the computer program and checking people in and out to be fairly easy. The only part that is going to really take any time for me is the whole answering the phones and selling the room thing. I need to get my spiel down and once I do that I'll be set. :) Plus, he seems to be really laid back and we actually find non-work-related stuff to talk about in the little bit of down time we do have, so that makes it nice as well.

Overall, first day of work. . . .success.

Song of the Day:

Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Bublé

[This song has been stuck in my head all day! I heard it in the shower while getting ready for work, then I heard it on my way to work. I think it's rather catchy, and while I'm not sure that I feel the lyrics for myself at this time, I definitely have before. Oh and if you watch the video, I totally thought it was cheesy the first time I watched it. But. . . I do love his shoes! :) ]

♥ Sara

"Find a job you like and you add five days to every week." -H. Jackson Browne

Knots.

2010-03-30T22:19:00.005-04:00

Day 8 - [03.30.10]

This would be my rope, er, ropes. I spent a few hours today working on my knot tying. Yes, you read that right HOURS. Ugh. But, in good news, I think I have six of the seven I need to know down pat. Here you can see four of them (figure eight on a bight, figure eight, bowline and becket bend). I guess we will see tomorrow just how well I know them and how well they stuck with me. :)

We have to know the knots for fire school, it's one of the stations on the practical part of the exam. Considering that I couldn't even tie a square knot three months ago, the fact that I can tie five other ones now is quite an accomplishment, at least I think it is.

Song of the Day:

Who Wouldn't Wanna Be Me by Keith Urban

[I hadn't heard this song in a long time, until last night when I was out. And now it's been stuck in my head all day long today. Ah! Drives me nuts when I get a song stuck in my head, even if it's one that I like! At least I like this one. . . :) ]

♥ Sara

"When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on." -Franklin D. Roosevelt

It FINALLY Happened!!

2010-03-30T17:47:00.002-04:00

Thanks for watching! :)

♥ Sara

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." -John Quincy Adams

Don't Trust Me.

2010-03-30T13:47:00.003-04:00

Day 7 - [03.29.10]

Well, there's obvious significance to the items in this picture! I would be lost without them. I know I took a similar picture during my last 365 project . . . BUT . . . it's a different computer. My parents got me this computer for Christmas this year. My old one was having lots of problems and was completely out of memory, but it had held up through the first four and a half years after I graduated from high school, so I can't complain. I just hope this one lasts me as long.

As far as the phone goes, I've had this phone for over a year now. I got it in February (I believe) of last year when my old phone decided that the speaker shouldn't work any more. But I seem to have good luck with phones, they last me roughly three years on average. :)

Anyhow, I didn't have anything significant happen in my day to take pictures of, so I decided to go for something that was just significant to my life. :)

Song of the Day:

Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3

[Also known as "The Helen Keller Song." This song was one of the many songs of the summer. Whenever I hear it I think of Kalamazoo and the 409. And whenever I am seriously missing Kalamazoo and the 409 I listen to it. In class yesterday I was thinking about how I needed to call Katie when I got out to tell her some stuff and to catch up on her life. Well, when I got in the car this song was just coming on. So I called her, then cranked the radio so she could hear it. I think it is the single most overplayed song of our friendship, not that it's a bad thing. :) ]

♥ Sara

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." -Albert Einstein

Finished.

2010-03-29T10:01:00.004-04:00

Day 6 - [03.28.10]

Ah! The first batch of syrup is done!

When I got up yesterday morning I got dressed, made breakfast, got a cup of coffee and headed out to the stove. Jason, Matt and the kids came over to watch us finish the batch off. I gathered the sap in the buckets before joining the guys by the stove. When it hit the right point, we pulled it off, filtered it out and I carried it inside to can it. Do you have any idea how much 8.5 quarts of syrup in a 3 gallon stainless steel soup pot weighs? A. Lot. haha.

Anyways, I got it on the stove, Dad got the jars, I washed them, then we canned it up. It smelled and tasted soooooo good! Then for dinner we had pancakes and sausage so we could officially test the syrup out. ;)

Song of the Day:

Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard

[This song came on at the party last night and is stuck in my head. The song always makes me think of Coyote Ugly, and a couple fabulous memories that I have. Oh and a couple amazing stories that I have heard that involve this song. Anyhow, it's an enjoyable song. . . and you should look at the video just to see the fabulous hair styles Def Leppard had going on. . . haha!]

♥ Sara

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates." -Thomas Szasz

Hardworkers.

2010-03-27T15:21:00.003-04:00

Day 5 - [03.27.10]

Meet Zach and Mike. They are two very hardworking students in fire class, can't you tell? ;)

We had been doing training for a couple hours by the time this picture was taken and the three of us had been done with that station for a while. Mike was talking to me about my 365 projects and said that I should pull my camera out. So I did. Then when I took this picture he said it could be day 5's photo. I agreed.

In all honesty, they had the right idea. I joined them shortly after the picture was taken. The ground + the log as a backrest = perfect place to relax. And it was a decent day to be out training, cold at first, but it turned out to be really nice.

Prior to the picture, we worked on hooking up a foam line, then after we worked on setting up a gated wye and clamping a hose and then squirted some water. Training can be kinda boring for Zach and I because Dad (aka Chief) sets up training sessions for us one a month and we covered a lot of this stuff already, but that's ok. I would rather be bored than feel stupid and not know what is going on.

I can't believe that in one month and four days we will be taking our exam! The past few months have flown and I have mixed feelings about finishing up class. Anyhow, I figured since I spent my entire day with one or both of these two today that they were significant enough to make it into this project, I guess. :P

Song of the Day:

Feel That Fire by Dierks Bentley

[Ok, I think I need to stop saying "I love this song!" I think it's obvious I love the song if I'm listing it. If I don't, I'm sure the explanation would make this clear. I heard this song repeatedly today, and even made it my facebook status. When we would get ready to go out to the bull over the summer, this song was listened to often and was one of my most used songs to steal lyrics for my facebook statuses. Maybe one day I'll feel that fire. . . until then, I'll just continue to enjoy my life as is. . . :) ]

♥ Sara

"My sons think it's a fireman's pole, but I forgot to cut a hole through the ground into the kitchen." -Pamela Anderson

[I was looking for a fireman quote when I found this one. It is funny because of the significance of that to the day. . . no explanation listed here though. :) ]

Scars.

2010-03-26T23:27:00.006-04:00

Day 4 - [03.26.10]

If you've been around for a while, you know I knit, and you know I love it! When I got home from my other adventures today (I will be writing about them when everything works out.), I worked on homework and knitted.

The easiest way for me to read is while knitting with music playing in the background. Somehow, that keeps me fully interested in what I'm reading, no matter what it is. So today I worked on the hat (the one on the green needles) until it got to the point where I need to pull it off and stitch it together (I can't do that while reading), then I started the scarf (the project on the blue needles). This will be the first set that I make to sell on Etsy!

[Oh and just so you know, I know my store is down. . . .I'm giving it some time, making more inventory and then I will get it up and going again. :) ]

Anyhow, knitting is great. I love it and I'm so glad I taught myself how (with a little assistance from mom and the internet). And I would totally recommend learning to knit to anyone. It's relaxing, it's productive, it keeps me entertained when life is boring, yep, perfect! And yes, I got my homework done while knitting today. :)

Song of the Day:

Scars by Papa Roach

[I heard this song for the first time in a long time today. I love it, always have. But some time ago, it started making me think of someone special to me, not because of the words but because we shared a love for that song, and Papa Roach in general, along with a couple other bands. So when I heard this song today, he was the first person I thought of, wonder if it does the same thing for him. . . ALSO. . . I went to a Papa Roach concert a couple years ago. That was the last straw for my ears, I happened to go to two concerts two nights in a row and it screwed up my ears bad for a while. Luckily, they seem to have healed most of the way.]

♥ Sara

"Music is what life sounds like."
-Eric Olson

Good & Plenty.

2010-03-26T00:18:00.006-04:00

Day 3 - [03.25.10]

Today's picture isn't the one that I originally had planned, but this one turned out to be more significant for my day. I got to class today and Zach hadn't went to the store yet, and said he didn't need to, but I was in the mood for candy. So I bribed him with the promise of candy to go with me. We got Reisens, he got Mentos and I wanted Good & Plentys. Now I know he doesn't like them from previous Good & Plenty encounters, but he told me to go ahead and get them, that he would be set with the other candy. So I did.

Well, on break from class, my candy turned into a topic. It turns out NO ONE else likes Good & Plentys! At least, no one on my side of the room, nor the guys that come over to our side of the room to talk. And Jason even felt the need to make fun of me for them saying that he didn't know anyone else who liked them. That was until I reminded him that Dad liked them. Zach's response: "your dad is made of leather, he probably can't taste them." Bahahahaha. Get him, Dad!

Anyways, Good & Plentys are one of my favorite candies, and I do know people who like them other than my dad and I, *ahem* Justin. Just don't expect them to last very long around me, as you can see that bag is almost gone!

Song of the Day:

Pray for You by Jaron and the Long Road to Love [I love this song! (If you haven't heard it yet, click the link and listen, it's worth it, promise! And the last 10 seconds of the video is great!!!) I happened to hear it for the first time just before my latest break up and I laughed so hard. Every time it comes on the radio I crank it up and it brings a smile to my face. No, I don't think of anyone in particular, I swear. . . . ok, maybe I do. ;) But I can guarantee it's not who you think it is. . . . some wounds leave big scars and take a long time to heal, if they ever do. So, to all my recent exes (meaning anyone who has been mentioned in this blog), I don't pray for you like this. . . . :) ]

♥ Sara

"Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate."
-Sandra Boynton

Great Neighbor.

2010-03-24T22:50:00.003-04:00

Day 2 - [03.24.10]

Yesterday I spent hours out by the fire boiling sap. We didn't have any actual wood gathered and ready, so part of boiling the sap was gathering the sticks laying around the yard, breaking them up and filling the stove. Well, day before yesterday Dad had said he was going to get a load of slabs then didn't.

My neighbor, John, came over while Dad and I were out at the fire (Dad had just gotten there.) and said something about me gathering all the sticks and I said that Dad was supposed to get slabs but didn't. So John asked if I would like a bucket load. And Dad was like oh we don't need it. And I said yes we do! Please?! John headed over to get his tractor and get me my wood. I thanked him on his way out and he said oh, don't thank me yet, you might not like what I bring back. When I asked what he meant he said that he might bring too much. OMG, never.

So he came back with the stack of wood shown in the picture and dropped it off to the side of my stove. I was so happy that I didn't have to pick up sticks every five minutes after that! :) We seriously have some of the best neighbors ever! They have lived next door pretty much my entire life. (I think they moved in there when I was like two, but my parents were friends with them before that.) I grew up playing with the boys and there has never been a time when they wouldn't help us out when we needed it or visa versa.

Song of the Day:

Life Less Ordinary by Carbon Leaf. [This has been one of my favorite songs for years and I listened to it a couple times today. I seriously love it. :) ]

♥ Sara

"A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them." -Albert Einstein

The Beginning.

2010-03-24T08:50:00.008-04:00

You didn't REALLY think that was the end for real, did you?!? Well, you better believe I'm not smart enough to end this stuff, and I'm already thinking of ideas for future 365 challenges! :) For an explanation as to what this one will be watch here:

The only thing I can think of that I forgot to mention is that I am removing the random fact of the day and giving a song a day, of significance of course! And this video shows a lot of my weird mannerisms. Oh and I don't really have a lisp, there's something weird with my s's and my camera. . . lol.

Day 1 - [03.23.10]

I spent a few hours yesterday working on boiling sap down. My dad and I are making maple syrup again this year.

For those of you who don't know anything about it, here's a brief description of how it's done. First (obviously) we had to tap the trees. This involves drilling holes in the maple trees, putting in the taps in, connecting the plastic tubing and running it to the buckets. Then we need to collect the sap as it runs. Warm days and cold nights with no wind are the best for sap running. (Yesterday ALL of our buckets were full to overflowing.) Then once we have enough to keep it going we start boiling it. It takes about 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup when boiled down. Yep, lots of boiling and collecting involved.

Lucky for me. . . .while I'm boiling I have time to sit and do nothing, so I take my computer out and work on whatever or talk to people online or work on studying with my fire homework. Yesterday I worked on my blog and talked to some friends. :)

Song of the Day:

8 Second Ride by Jake Owen [I love this song, and I heard it like five times yesterday. Twice on the radio and three because I was trying to get ahold of Zach and it's his "ring" when you call.]

♥ Sara

"I happen to know everything there is to know about maple syrup! I love maple syrup. I love maple syrup on pancakes. I love it on pizza. And I take maple syrup and put a little bit in my hair when I've had a rough week. What do you think holds it up, slick?" -Jeremy Grey, Wedding Crashers

The End.

2010-03-23T22:35:00.003-04:00

Yesterday, Day 365, I got up and headed home early. I was here by like 9. I worked on some homework then got my shower and got ready for the day. I wanted my 365 picture to be something awesome so I spent some time thinking and then went outside and took it, well, them. After I got done taking pictures I got ready and went to class. After class I worked on some homework again, read some blogs and called it a night kinda early.

I kept that short because I’m going to do a reflection:

Well, rather than just going back 365 days, I’m going to reflect back to the beginning of this blog. I remember how hated I was at that point by a lot of people and I remember saying then that Jeff would find someone who would make him happy. And from what I gather he has, after all he will be married in a few months. Congrats to him. : )

I think it is interesting how the blog came about, how I needed a way to tell the world what I did and why I did it, ironically I feel like I did that a lot in the past year. I have almost quit so many times. Right after the first blog was probably the worst, or maybe the beginning of January when Justin and I split and then I found out about him and Katie. But I am so grateful that I kept it going. I have read through it all and, man, do I have a lot to say. I’ll try to keep it short, but ya’ll know how that goes. I originally was going to link to all the posts that I am talking about, but I decided against that because, well, it would be A LOT of links and I doubt ANYONE would go back and read them all.

Over the past year I have made so many changes in my life and learned so many things. I chopped my hair off in various ways, I got bangs, I finally went back to my natural color, and in June I started growing it out. It is getting so long! I planned to move to my parents’ house, then to stay in Kalamazoo, then got stuck moving up here, and now I love it. I’ve learned how to live without a plan, and to enjoy it. I learned that being alone isn’t always a bad thing and can be pretty nice sometimes. I learned how to not overanalyze everything in my life, and everything that comes into contact with my life. I have learned to forgive, and honestly that was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Had I not stopped being a hard-ass and started forgiving people who hurt me I would have lost some amazing people in my life. I’ve discovered how to have patience. This was beyond necessary! J And, probably most importantly, I discovered my emotions and learned how to deal with them. I actually cry, and admit it. I hurt and admit it rather than getting angry and being a hard ass. I’m sure there are others but those were the most prominent.

I have definitely gone through a lot of heartache and confusion, but it has made me a stronger, and I would like to think better, person. There is a post (titled rejection, June post) that I could have posted at least three times in the last year. But I have learned to deal better and I know eventually I will look back on all of it and it will be trivial.

What else about this year? I have had some amazing times in the past year, and some rather upsetting ones as well. I’m pretty sure I single-handedly kept Cohen & Greenfield’s, aka Ben and Jerry’s in business. I spent a lot of time talking about food, man do I miss the Kalamazoo restaurants and bars. I have completed a lot of bucket list items (yay!). I spent a lot of great time with my friends. Katie and I threw some amazing parties this summer. Summer 2009 was by far the best summer ever. 409: I miss you. Fire school is even better than I expected and I’m looking forward to test day! Life up here is not what I expected, but I am enjoying it. I could still use a damn job though!

I can't believe I made it through this entire challenge without missing a day. Yes, some of my pictures were late. Yes, my blog was neglected from time to time. But I did it!! I DID IT!!!! I can't even express how exciting this is for me, yet how quick it went. I mean I remember getting excited on day 50 for making it that far. . . now that seems AGES ago in some instances, but like it was just yesterday in others. Wow. . . just wow.

During the past year I have made some amazing friends and strengthened already great bonds. Krissi, Katie and Justin, I miss you all and I don’t know what I would do without you! WB girls: You’re amazing. Thank you for all you do! J And any other loyal readers, it’s been one hell of a year and I’m impressed you’re still here. Ready for another?

Final Pictures:

Day 365 (03.22.10):

the end.

Day 365:

oh my goodness! I'm done!

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die!

"Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there." -Josh Billings

Out.

2010-03-22T22:30:00.002-04:00

Saturday I got up and frosted Ben's cake then did some stuff online. After a while I took a shower and got ready for lunch with Ben. We had made plans to go out to get Chinese for lunch. I met him there. I absolutely love hanging out with him, I always have. Lunch was great, the company was fantastic. I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard for an hour straight. :) After lunch, I gave him his cake and we headed our separate ways.

Ironically, it turned out that Friday was one year to the day from the day Ben broke up with me and I started this challenge to do something for me. And I'm happy it happened now, well not that we split, but that I had this. That I did something for myself. I have learned so much. . . .but I'll save my reflection for today's blog. . . seeing as I am writing this on Day 365!

Anyhow, I went to the pharmacy and Walmart and picked stuff up that mom needed. I ran into Zach and his girlfriend at Walmart, nothing too exciting, just picked on him for a bit. lol. When I got home, Dad and I went down to the fire station. I ran the air station and studied and he worked on fire reports. When we got home, I finished my college and fire homework and spent some more time studying for my fire class. I know, I spend a lot of time studying for it, but it will all be worth it on May 1st when I pass.

Pictures:

Day 363 (03.20.10):

the "magic towel" my aunt got me for Christmas.

Day 363:
spending lots more time in my cave again. :)

Yesterday I got up bright and early, made cinnamon rolls and got ready to go. I met the boys (Zach and three others from class) at Inverness' fire station at 930 to study. We had a little fiasco with the coffee maker, but once we got that working and figured out how to connect the TV to my computer and make it work, we were on a roll. We studied together until a little after noon.

When I got home I finished my homework for the weekend. My sister in law had been texting me throughout the morning and asked me to come over. So I did. We spent the day hanging out (there was a rather large group of people there) and relaxing. And I enjoyed watching boys be boys and do stupid things, like jumping the shit pond with a snowmobile (no we don't have snow), fourwheeler and peddle bike. We had a bonfire and roasted marshmallows and sat around it for quite a while before going inside.

Of course, when we went inside, we played beer pong. Well somehow it turns into full contact beer pong. Bah! I have so many bruises today! But I was doing really well. Nick and I played eight games together, lost one and Toad and I played three games and didn't lose any! (I usually suck, remember Katie won like 12 games against Jake and I one night this summer!) I ended up crashing there for the night.

Photos:

Day 364 (03.21.10):

nick roasting his marshmallow.

Day 364:

on my way.

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

After eating, a housefly regurgitates its food and then eats it again.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did." -Mark Twain

Housework.

2010-03-20T11:31:00.001-04:00

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Wednesday I slept in for a bit, then got up and worked on some homework. Once I was satisfied with the amount of homework I got done, I started cleaning. I got all my stuff picked up throughout the house, put away some clothes, did like four loads of laundry, and put some more stuff away. I got my back bedroom looking pretty good and started on my bedroom downstairs. When I got sick of cleaning I worked on some other homework before going to bed. Yep, that's right. I didn't go out at all on St. Patrick's Day!

Pictures:

Day 360:

sam planning his escape, open window, no screen.

Day 360:

i did at least wear my St. Patty's day shirt. :)

Thursday I got up, finished my fire homework for that night and worked on some of my college homework. It seems to be piling up, and I really don't care about the classes so that makes it rather difficult to get the homework done. When I had given up working on that I worked on my cave for a bit longer. I haven't really spent much time in it since Justin and I split and, well, it showed. Stuff just got thrown in here and I didn't care enough to put it away. Until now.

Around 430, I had to start getting ready for fire school, so I did that and headed over to Jason's. He was *surprisingly* all ready and waiting in the yard for me. We went to class, which again, was not all that exciting. Spent some time talking to the guys, like always, but that's it. On my way home, I dropped Jason off at the house. No, I didn't end up staying there for once. Haha.

When I got home, I wasn't sure if I was going out at night or not, so I worked on my bedroom some more. I ended up getting it spotless and getting my laundry all done. And I didn't end up going out, which wasn't surprising or all that disappointing, I was rather tired.

Photos:

Day 361:

most of my knitting stuff.

Day 361:

in my clean room. (you can kinda see my awesome slippers too.)

Yesterday, I got up early (by alarm) and cleaned my bathroom and some of the upstairs. At the predesignated time, I hopped in the shower and got ready for the day. Thank goodness I predesignated a time because I was barely ready in time. I spent my morning and most of my afternoon hanging out and watching Lucky Number Slevin and That 70s Show.

When that ended I had all of an hour and a half to write my paper that was due at 5 for my online class. No worries, I finished it in less than 45 minutes. :) When that was done, I worked on editing pictures and finishing catching this blog up.

At six we headed over to Grandma and Grandpa's house to visit with them and have cake and ice cream for Grandpa's birthday. He will be 83 on Monday. Grandma seems to be doing much better, she says she is at least. They still have her on oxygen, but she may be on that for life. We spent a couple hours there before heading back home.

I hung out and watched some That 70s Show, then baked Ben's triple layer red velvet checkered cake for him. Then I killed a couple hours watching more TSS and doing random stuff online. Oh and I got to talk to my cousin Dan for an hour or so, which was nice.

Pictures:

Day 362:

my ice cubes. :)

Day 362:

look, even my bed is made!

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

Corned beef is strictly an American invention, the Irish don't actually eat it to celebrate the day.

"With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Crazy, Tragic, Sometimes Almost Magic, Awful, Beautiful Life.

2010-03-17T15:07:00.005-04:00

I love this life. . . (and that song. :) )

So, you know how I used to always refer to my life as double-i? Well now, double-i is an understatement. Hence, why I have not posted in a week again. I know, I'm horrible! Just think though, a week from now and this will all be over! My first 365 project will be completed, and I think *think* I will be continuing it and I *think* I know what I'm doing for it! Also, an FYI for those of you who have been reading since day one, you will notice I am obviously leaving aspects of my life out. I won't be answering questions about them on here, sorry, for once I have secrets from ya'll. :)

For those of you who do know what is going on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. I am a big girl and I think it's worth it. I am willing to wait to have what I want. I'm confident in saying that. I am sure everything will work out the way I'm planning and hoping. And if it doesn't, well you can line up to say I told you so. (Since there are only like 2 of you who know what I'm talking about, for the rest of you, consider this my apology.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Anyhow, Wednesday (the 10th) I got up in the morning and Dad and I decided to go down to the fire station, run the air station and rinse out the buckets for sap collection. Well we got to the station only to discover neither of us had thrown the buckets in the truck. Yep, we rock.

So, we headed back home, but took the long route. Dad showed me some side roads in our area that have big houses hidden on them and told me stories about various fires he's had there over the years. Then we went down to the boy scout camp and walked around and took a walk out on the ice before heading back to the house to get the buckets.

We spent a couple hours at the station. I ran the air station and read a fire magazine and helped Dad in between. We got the buckets all cleaned out (and both got soaked in the process). Then we headed back home. We were both cold and wet so we decided not to finish tapping then and came inside.

I worked on my homework for a while, then watched tv and went to bed.

Pictures:

Day 353:

dad and the lake

Day 353:

my first and last time on the ice (that wasn't for fire training).

Thursday (the 11th) I spent the day working on homework before getting ready for class. On my way to class I stopped at Jason's house and picked up his homework because he wasn't going to be able to make it to class. Once again class was class. Nothing too exciting.

After class I stopped at Jason's again to drop off his graded homework and his copied homework for the next class. I had intended on hanging out there for a bit before either going out or going home, I hadn't decided for sure what the night had in store yet. Well I ended up just hanging out there for the night. The guys had decided to have a bonfire so I stuck around for that.

Photos:

Day 354:

my new "shit happens" necklace.

Day 354:

on my way to class.

Friday (the 12th) I spent a lot of the trying to catch up on the sleep I was lacking. I had caught a cold and didn't want to keep it. I also worked on my fire homework as I had class on Saturday so I needed to get a chapter done on Friday.

Mom had to go to the Chiropractor at 5, so I took her to town for that, then we went to Cheboygan so she could get her hair cut. While we were in Cheboygan, we got Chinese. You know how much I love Chinese! Aw hell, you know how much I love food. :)

When we were done eating, I called Jason to see if he wanted me to come over and help him with his homework/study with him. And he said sure, so I headed over there. When we were done with our homework, the guys decided to play beer pong and asked me to join. Of course, I said yes, but only for a game or two. Well a game or two turned into a lot of games. I ended up staying up until, well, until Jason and I had to leave for class at 730. Oh man. . . .

Pictures of the Day:

Day 355:

necessary. not really sure who decorated my box for me though.

Day 355:

no, that room is NOT in my house.

Saturday, I checked the time and realized it was 730 so I woke Jason's ass up for class. We got ready and headed in. Luckily, class was short and sweet, I couldn't have handled a long class that morning. No sleep doesn't work for me. When we got back to the house I hung out with one of the guys for a bit before he left, then I left shortly there after. I got home and took a two hour nap before I had to get ready for the Onaway Fireman's Ball.

*sigh* Exhaustion.

Dad and I went together, even though we both had gotten tickets for dates. Mom wasn't feeling up to it, and well my boyfriend (at the time that I bought the tickets) broke up with me. I know I could have found another date, but I didn't feel like taking anyone. The party was great though. We ate, we drank, we danced, we had Jello shot competitions. Oh and did I mention that none of the people I was with were under 40?

After the Ball ended at midnight, we went out to Taylor's house (Zach, my training partner's house). Dad and I had been hanging out with his parents all night. When we got there I rolled his ass out of bed. (He skipped out on the party, loser.) We hung out there for a while, talked about fire stuff and had a couple beers before heading home.

I had a long ass phone conversation on my way home/after I got here so I didn't get to bed until 6 am. Ugh.

Pictures:

Day 356:

my best recorded time and the empty cup.

Day 356:

just got home, so tired.

Sunday I woke up at 9, got up for a bit, talked to mom, drank some water and went back to bed at like 11. I was so freaking tired! Dad woke me up at quarter after two for training. Yes, we had a fire meeting that involved training. Seriously, who plans these things? :P

I seriously considered not going because I was so freaking tired. BUT, I sucked it up, threw some pants on, changed my shirt, put my hair in a ponytail, brushed my teeth and headed to the station. Oh and grabbed a granola bar for breakfast. Thank goodness. I was starving when I got home, I couldn't have imagined what it would have been like without the granola bar.

When we got to the station we sat and talked and waited for everyone to show up. Turned out to be just Dad, Jason, Dave (my uncle), Zach and I, which actually worked out for the best. Dad had said he was going to have Zach drive 01 (the pumper) so I went to climb in (I wanted to be privy to watching this learning experience). Dad told me no and to get in 31 (the foam truck) which Jason was driving. I was kinda upset that we were going to cram three of us in the regular cab stick shift truck while two rode in the big firetruck, but whatever. So I crawled in the middle. Well Dad said something to Jason about me learning to drive a stick and told him I wasn't going to learn sitting there. So J got out and I crawled into the driver's seat. Ah!

The drive down to the dry hydrant wasn't as bad as I expected. I was kinda nervous, but I think I did ok. I know I need more practice, but that will happen again soon. :) When we got down to the dry hydrant we set up a draft to the pumper, then set up the foam line and charged it. Zach hadn't played with the foam yet, but I did at the Alverno fire. So we messed around with that for a while. And Jason spent some time instructing us. I have to admit, he is one hell of a teacher. He is calm and patient and instructs in a way we both understand. I love that firefighting stuff has brought us closer together. :)

I drove the truck back to the station in full turnout gear. Bad idea. I couldn't feel where the pedals were or how hard I was pressing on them. So, the ride back was a bit more bumpy than the ride to the hydrant. Oh well. When we got back we put our stuff away and headed home.

I had a paper due at midnight. So, I worked on it. Actually I stared at the computer until like 930, then wrote my paper. Well I had all intentions of going to sleep right after the paper was done, but I ended up staying up talking online until like 345. Yep, I'm sooooo smart sometimes! :P

Pictures:

Day 357:

this is what my knee looked like after full contact beer pong.

Day 357:

the shirt said it all: this sucks!

Monday I slept in to make up for some of the lack of sleep I had been getting. And by slept in I mean I didn't get up until like 230. Yep. It was fabulous. Then I did some homework, got ready for class and headed to Jason's to pick him up for class. My homework wasn't completely done so I intended on doing it on the way. . . .well that was until I got there and realized that he didn't have his done either. Ah! So we rushed through our homework together then headed to class.

Class was not all that exciting again. Same as always. When I got back to Jason's I ended up going in and hanging out with him and Shawnia and talking. The next thing I knew we were having a bonfire. Everyone slowly ended up in bed and I headed home.

Photos:

Day 358:

my purse. yes, shoes, book, hat, vitamin water, skittles, rope, you name it.

Day 358:

happily tired.

Yesterday I slept until three or so. Yep, I know I'm lazy, er super tired. When I got up, I ate, put together the list of donors for our party, got a shower and had to get ready to go to the Fire Fighter's Association Meeting. It was actually much better than I expected, usually the damn men act like teenage girls. They seem to be getting shit figured out, finally. And our party did well. Next year will be even better. :) After the meeting one of the Wolverine guys showed me around their station and told me all about their trucks. It was pretty cool. I love it when the guys treat me like one of them rather than that girl in their meetings. Dad, Dan and I headed back home. It did end up being another late night, but whatever, I'm getting used to it.

Photos:

Day 359:

Eliza yelling at me for coming in late. . . or yawning because I woke her up! :)

Day 359:

just got home, ready to go to bed.

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well. If it is worth having, it is worth waiting for. If it is worth attaining, it is worth fighting for. If it is worth experiencing, it is worth putting aside time for." -Susan Jeffers

Going Out.

2010-03-10T23:24:00.001-05:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah, delayed posting, crazy life, no sleep, what can I say?

Tuesday I spent my entire day working on homework, and got all of the regular assignments done plus finished my fire homework for Thursday. I know, amazingly shocking, right? I was rather proud of myself for finishing all of it. And I did it because I knew that my week was going to be busy and I didn't want to have to worry about it.

Pictures:

Day 345:

my nails, oh and my grandma hands.

Day 345:

yay for another day with no makeup. lol.

Wednesday I got up at a halfway-decent time because I knew my favorite girl would be coming to visit me for lunch. So I got ready and took my picture of the day and then watched TV and worked on homework until she called to say she was on her way. We met at Burger King and decided to go to the Trout for lunch. I'm pretty sure we spent at least twice the amount of time talking as we did eating. I hadn't seen her since just after Christmas and missed her so much!!!

After we were done eating we decided to go to McDonald's and get some coffee. We used to go to coffee shops all the time in Kalamazoo, but coffee shops are kinda lacking up here (as in they are non-existent). So we drank coffee, ate brownie melts, talked, took a bunch of pictures, talked some more and then realized that it was almost five. She had to drive back to Kalamazoo so we reluctantly said goodbye and she headed home.

It was so great having time to catch up with her! And we have plans to get together Easter weekend, not too far away! :) I'm so happy that I made the decision to put all that stuff behind me and not let any of it ruin our friendship. I can honestly say I am happy for her and that I am even happier that we made it though all that stuff.

After saying goodbye I headed back to my house. On my way, I stopped at the fire station. I needed to do the weekly air station run and I still needed to clean up my mess from when I made Jello shots. Oh man, it was a mess, and I waited to clean it up so there was hardened Jello stains on the counter. Ugh. At least I left it cleaner than it was when I started making stuff.

When I got home I watched some TV, finished my fire homework and went to bed.

Photos:

Day 346:

our coffees and brownies.

Day 346:

different lip ring, so I could try the new lip gloss. :)

Thursday I got up and got ready. I had told Jason (my brother, that's who you can assume Jason is unless I specify otherwise) that I would go over to his house and help him with his homework and help him study for our HazMat exam. I got over there around two. He worked on his homework while I studied, then we studied some more for the exam before heading to class.

We had our lecture, then we had our HazMat exam. Thank goodness it was open book! That stupid thing sucked. I mean, I think I would have passed even without the open book. But knowing that I had the right answers made me feel much better, especially since we probably won't have the results for, well, FOREVER! When I was done taking my exam I hung out with the guys and talked while I waited for Jason to finish his. Then we went to his house and I talked to him and my sister-in-law for a while before heading to the Trout. I had decided it was time for me to go out and have some fun again. And I did. :)

Here are the pictures:

Day 347:

all the homework from the first half of the class, minus the first three chapters.

Day 347:

yep.

Friday I got up to realize I lost my wallet somewhere the night before. Ugh. So the hunt for it began. I went back to the Trout, I called people that worked at the Trout, I talked to some people I had seen the night before, all without luck. So frustrating! I gave up, went home and wrote the paper that was due at five. While I was working on my paper one of my friends texted me to let me know that they had gotten a hold of my wallet. I guess I had left it at the bar and another friend had picked it up for me. Then I took a nap before heading back out.

I picked up my wallet, then I had to run a couple errands. When I was done, I texted one of my friends to find out how long it would be before they got to the Breakers. He said soon, so I went there and just planned on waiting. Thankfully, when I got there one of the guys from class and his wife were there so I hung out with them while I waited. They left just before the group I was waiting for got there (two hours after they said soon, lol.). We were celebrating a couple birthdays and had a blast doing so.

Pictures:

Day 348:

sam and my latest knitting project.

Day 348:

you can't tell just how late it was in this picture, surprisingly.

Saturday I headed home in the late morning, on my way I stopped at Jason and Shawnia's house and picked up the kids. I told Jason and Shawnia a while ago that I would go out with them Saturday night, so my parents were going to babysit the kids for the night. When I got home, I went to bed. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open and I knew that if I didn't get some sleep it was going to be a bad night.

Luckily, I slept for about five hours! When I got up I had reset my alarm while half asleep, therefore cutting down on my get-ready time. So I hurried up and got ready to go. I was not late getting to Jason and Shawnia's house (for once!). We all rode in the van (they had other friends with them as well) and headed up to Breaker's. The Darwin Project was playing there (the band that Jason manages). So, since we were with the band, we got there around 8 and left after 2. After the bar closed we headed out to an after-party, which was also a lot of fun. We didn't get back to their place until like 530 but we, or at least I, had a lot of fun.

Pictures:

Day 349:

the missing wallet.

Day 349:

nap time.

Sunday I got up and was hanging out at Jason and Shawnia's when it was demanded I make breakfast. Well, demanding that I do something doesn't get you very far, and when that was discovered I was nicely asked to make breakfast. I started to make french toast and bacon, thankfully Megan took over the french toast for me. Something about being up past five in the morning three nights in a row just doesn't lead to a good attention span or thought process. (I was up by eleven every day!)

After I made breakfast (it took a while, there were a lot of people there!), we ate and I watched Accepted with them before heading home. I had a five page paper due at midnight. When I got here I was so tired I couldn't even read. So I decided to take a nap before even attempting my paper. My nap was unfortunately really short, and when I got up I was still really out of it. I didn't ACTUALLY start my paper until like 10, yes 10 pm. I know I'm a huge procrastinator. I finished my paper around 1130. Then I worked on some fire homework and went to bed.

Photos:

Day 350:

my lotion.

Day 350:

when i got out of the shower i put pajamas on and called it a day.

Monday I slept in as late as possible, which wasn't late enough. I woke up feeling like crap (bad cough and sore throat mainly). So I spent the day hanging out on the couch and working on my fire homework and studying. I have started working on studying for the big exam because it is roughly six weeks away and I want to make sure that I have NO problems with it. (And no, I don't USUALLY study ahead of time, I'm more of an "I'll worry about it the night (or morning) before" type of girl.)

I got a shower and headed to class around 530. Class was not all that exciting, it was enjoyable but nothing too special. Then after class I took pop bottles back and did some shopping at Walmart for stuff we needed at the house. After I got home I worked on homework for a bit before calling it a night. (I know, exciting day!)

Photos:

Day 351:

my cough drops.

Day 351:

leaving for class.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I woke up feeling even worse than I did the day before. I started my day by working on some homework. Then Dad got a call from our neighbor to go check his maple sap taps. So, we went over and I drove the tractor out and we checked out his taps. They weren't very full, so we decided to just leave them for another day or two (he's in Florida).

When we got back home I got a shower and got ready to go out to the Dentist. I got my teeth cleaned. :) I love going to the dentist, I love how my teeth feel afterwards. Then again, one of my favorite things to do when getting ready is brushing my teeth. (I know, I'm weird.)

After I was done at the dentist office, I went to Ken's and got some groceries. Then on my way home I stopped at Jason's and dropped off his homework for him. When I got home Dad and I started tapping our trees for making syrup. I'm excited for this season. It is one of the things that I am most excited for now that I'm living up here. :)

When we were done tapping for the day (we ran out of sunlight) we came in the house and I worked on homework. I had an econ exam to take and I also finished my econ homework. And I got my fire homework for Thursday done. Then I spent some time studying while watching Biggest Loser and Parenthood (I have to say I like Parenthood, a lot.) before heading to bed.

Pictures of the Day:

Day 352:

one of the trees we tapped has barbed wire in it.

Day 352:

don't you love my awesome gloves??

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

"There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good." -Edwin Denby

Recovered.

2010-03-02T17:18:00.001-05:00

Sunday I got up around 9. Yes, 9 in the morning. Ugh. I really needed my sleep but I couldn't sleep and when I was sleeping I was having weird dreams, so I was content giving up on my sleep at 9. I was half out of it through the entire day, but I had to get my homework done because I had neglected it, all of it, the entire week. I had too much stuff going on with the party and fire stuff that I didn't even bother trying to mess with it. And I had been dreading Sunday all week because of it.

I didn't even bother getting dressed Sunday. I spent the entire day sitting in front of my computer working on my homework. Well I did take a couple breaks to do stuff online (like blogging) or watch a little TV (read: take a short nap, ya'll know I don't really watch TV much). I did get my homework all done by like 9. Then I wasn't so tired, just out of it. So I did stuff online and edited some pictures and all that fun stuff. I finally gave in around midnight and went to bed.

Pictures:

Day 343:

delicious.

Day 343:

man, I can't wait until I can have a day where I don't shower AND don't have to take pictures.

Yesterday I finally got some sleep. I slept in past 11, yes, I took sleep aids. It was necessary. I was exhausted. My feet still hurt like crazy. I spent my afternoon not doing a whole lot of anything. I picked up some of my stuff, took a nap, then got ready for class. I was ready WAY early, so I actually left on time. I took all the cans from the party with me so after class I could take them back.

When I got to class I talked with the guys, it seemed most of them had a comment to make about the Jello shots. I guess I was responsible for a few hangovers, lol. It was weird, Firefighter 2 class started so there were an extra ten or so people there. It was like we were being invaded, lol. Oh well. After class, I talked to the guys for a while, then headed to Walmart.

I told Dad I would return the cans from the Fireman's Ball. We had decided to collect them to enhance our fundraising, I mean that's an extra however much for us. It took me about an hour to return them all. All 804 of them. Walking in was crazy, I'm not good at balancing stuff, and I had SEVEN garbage bags of cans. One of the guys from class and his wife walked in at the same time I did and he was giving me shit about all my cans, the sad part was they did their grocery shopping and left and I still had half of my cans left! Oh well, I think I am officially done with the Fireman's Ball stuff. Until next year! :) And I think I'm pretty much recovered, still a little tired, but my feet don't hurt as bad anymore. Thank goodness.

When I got home, I worked on my fire homework for a few hours before calling it a night and going to bed.

On a side note, I CANNOT believe it is March already. My 365 challenge will be done in 20 days. You can expect the longest blog ever on that day. I will be reading all my old blogs and reflecting on the past year. I can promise that it will be entertaining though. :) And if you haven't yet voted in my poll, do so now, I think there are still a couple days left.

Here are the pictures:

Day 344:

you can't see all of the bags, there are two where kids sit and one more behind the cart.

Day 344:

on the porch before I left for class.

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

Lemons ripen after you pick them, but oranges do not.

"Both optimists and pessimists contribute to our society. The optimist invents the airplane and the pessimist the parachute." -Gil Stern