AHH!

So insane and interesting, the double-i, is my new way of describing life! =) My friend Sara told me today I should write a book someday because my life is, "well, like a soap opera." I think that's a compliment. But I also am a very low-maintenance person and hate soap opera drama, but I don't ask for any of it! She also told me I write well, I don't know if I agree with that either, but I love the compliment!

I have felt quite crappy all day, I thought it might just be nerves for my presentation, but I still don't feel the greatest. Oh well, I'll live. Today I had a group presentation, which was crazy. I am so happy it's over and that class is smooth sailing from here out. I only have three weeks left!!! Nine classes! Twenty papers! Nine Exams! One Presentation! Aw, hell, shoot me now! And I don't care. . . ugh. I have no motivation and just really don't care. I am taking the summer off due to my indifference toward school. I decided that last night.

After the presentation I went out with my SFL friends for dinner at Applebees. =) Excellent end to my day. Well I guess my day still hasn't ended, I'll probably be up a few more hours texting and possibly doing homework.

For the pictures: I look like crap, I wasn't feeling good. . . oh well. And if I ever see the phrase "I LOVE ME" again it would be too soon! =)

Day 9 (03.31.09):
the cupcakes I made for our presentation.

Day 9:
notice the hot pink shirt!!
awful picture, but I was in a hurry and took two.
the other was blurry.

♥ Sara

“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.”
-Ashley Montagu

Interesting.

Life is. . . interesting. :)

Let's see, I had something really interesting to talk about before, non-personal life, and for the life of me do you think I could remember it?!? Of course not!

I am running on little sleep two nights in a row now, so excuse the insanity if it goes there. lol. Last night was surprising and interesting and yeah, that's all I have to say about it.

Today I got up and wrote a paper and then went to class. I had my second to last group meeting for my Teaching FLE class. Tomorrow is our presentation! I am excited and nervous about it, but know we will do fine. I saw a friend of mine today before the meeting and he told me I "look like Satan's Sister." People are just full of compliments lately. :) Then my group decides we need to dress in colors tomorrow, and black is no longer a color I guess. UGH. So I had to go shopping, not that I really mind shopping, just not a fan of bright colors as ya'll know. But I found a cute pink top, you will see it in the self-portrait tomorrow! Oh and I made cupcakes tonight, for the presentation tomorrow. I love baking so much!

And for the photos. I was totally stumped, so I asked Kevin for ideas. And he came up with this one, so mad props to him. Not to mention I am in it right now and so he gets even madder props because it is amazing!! :)

Day 8 (03.30.09):
candles surrounding my bath tub.
oh and the only editing i did was vignette, adding the darkness around the outside.

Day 8:
texting.
so since I have done this for 20 of the last 28 hours I thought it was appropriate. =)

♥ Sara

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
-Marilyn Monroe

Scary.

So in my 3am brain I forgot to share the best story of the day yesterday. At the party, Dad and I ended up sitting with a family that we didn't know (along with some of our family). Well they had a daughter who was probably 10. She spent ALL of her time staring at me, my lip ring especially. Then, she pulls out her cell phone and is playing with it. And then all of a sudden the camera points at me and I hear it go off. OMG. lol. So my dad noticed it too and tells her mom, tells her it isn't a big deal and we both got a laugh out of it. Plus I've had kids say worse stuff, she didn't say anything! Then my dad proceeds to tell her that he has a little leash he hooks to my lip ring when we go out for walks. Ass. =)

On our way out the door my dad told my cousin about it who proceeds to say, "Yeah, she will show the pictures to all her friends and say 'See, there are freaks up north!'" My question is since when did having a lip ring make me the freak of the family?!? I guess I should own up to my title and do some crazy shit the next time we have a get together! It made me think of that story because I was told I "look a bit scary" today.

Today, I got up only to see a ton of freaking snow! Took me almost an hour to get from my parents to town. UGH. The rest of the trip wasn't awful, wasn't particularly great either. I finished Dreamcatcher on tape. AMAZING! (It's a 16 tape, 23 hour long audiobook by Stephen King.) Quite sad to have it over though, but I started Behind The Lines which is a collection of letters from wartimes throughout history, pretty good thus far. Once I got down here I just had time to drop off my animals and go meet my group to work on our project. Can't wait for Tuesday so that's over and done with!

I don't really have anything exciting to add beyond that, so here are the pictures!

Day 7 (03.29.09):
the stop sign coming off 127 onto 55.
I love the little icicles on it.

Day 7:
told you I was scary looking today.

♥ Sara

“Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway."”

-Maya Angelou

Surprise.

Oh there is so much to say tonight, but a lot of it I wouldn't post for public reading, yet. Not to mention I'm no longer in a bitchy mood, so I don't really feel like taking a trip down that road again for blogging purpose.

I had a great day today! I did a bit of homework this afternoon (small bit), then got ready for Bugs' retirement party. Bugs is my mom's cousin and his kids threw a big surprise retirement party for him. It was great! Oh and I know I haven't mentioned it on here, but I love surprising people. Not a big fan of surprises myself, but to pull one off on someone else is great! (And I think I know who my next victim will be!) Two years ago August I threw a HUGE surprise party for my dad's 60th (his birthday was actually in May). We had over 200 people there, and I catered and decorated and invited and did all the work behind it myself. It was AMAZING! But by the end of the night of the party I was drained. I fell asleep on one of the tables and was so out of it that my parents accused me of being on drugs! lol. If Dan or Rach read this they can testify to my insanity "The balloons go WAAAAAAAYYYYY up and that way!"

Anyways, way to get off track! After the party (we left early because it was too loud for Dad and I had other plans as well), we went to my grandparents for a bit and then I came home and left again. I went and hung out with a friend of mine from high school. It was great. =) And as I was leaving he did something that my ex didn't do in the 2 months of leaving his house late at night (in blizzards at times, no less). He requested that I text him when I got home to make sure I made it ok. And obviously I did.

Ok for the pictures (and I'm thinking blogging at 3 am isn't a good idea, but I promised, and I don't want to miss a day!). . .

Day 6 (03.28.09):
my dad's outdoor wood furnace and the wood pile

Day 6:
didn't have many to choose from today.
taken just before I left for the party.
taking a picture a day of myself is getting quite difficult, but I'm determined!

♥ Sara

"Honesty pays, but it don't seem to pay enough to suit some people."
-Frank McKinney "Kin" Hubbard

(Has to do with what wasn't discussed here...)

Retention.

I actually had a half-way eventful day today! I went to the dentist this morning to pick up my retainers! I had braces 4 years ago but never wore my retainers. Well I had a tooth on the bottom slip behind other teeth and another tooth on the top that was starting to slip. When I went in for my cleaning three weeks ago I told them I wanted the retainers. They told me that I could get a spring retainer and wear it at night and it would fix my bottom tooth.

Well I get there today and find out that I have to wear the bottom retainer all the time until the tooth is moved forward. Also I had to have my tooth sanded down with a metal strip....WORST THING EVER. My dentist said to the hygienist "I think I can read her mind." And the hygienist said "Yeah?" And he said "Yeah it's full of four-letter words and thoughts of murdering me." (He was half right, I wasn't thinking of murder, just torture.) Then my lip stud kept getting caught under the wire on the retainer, so I'm wearing a horseshoe in my lip. Totally not me, and I don't like it, but it's better than getting stuck often. So I have a ring in, a lisp and sound like an idiot. But I have already noticed the tooth moving, craziness.

Then I went on a run. OMG. Alternative's LifeRun is May 30, it's a 5K race. I would love to do it, so I decided I should be able to be ready for that in two months. UGH, I don't know now. I haven't ran at all in the last four years, and not regularly in six years! So I got dressed, clipped on my pedometer, and took off. I ran almost 3/4 of a mile. Better than I expected, but I felt like I was going to die too. Eh, if I keep it up I should totally be able to run 5K in two months!

Day 5 (03.27.09):
my polka dotted retainers and my pedometer proving how far I ran.

Day 5:
taken just before I went running, almost forgot to do it today.
and yes there is still snow at my parents' house!

♥ Sara

"The greatest pleasure in life, is doing the things people say we cannot do."
-Walter Bagehot

Oh Fish.

Eh, I don't have anything aw-inspiring to talk about today. I spent my morning and early afternoon doing homework and then got ready to go to my parents' house.

Oh but I do have a funny story about going to Gander Mountain. So one of my mom's cousins is retiring and they are having a huge surprise retirement party this weekend for him. Well, for gifts it was requested we get fishing lures for him. I know nothing about fishing lures. When I fish (which is never anymore =( ), I put a worm on a hook and cast it. That's the extent of my caring about fishing equipment. So I'm going to Gander Mountain to get a fishing lure. Oh goodness!
So I get there and there are aisles and aisles of stupid lures! Well I decide to ask the guy working in the fishing section about it. Here's my memory of our conversation...
Me: Um, could you help me?
Guy: Sure, what do you need?
Me: I need a fishing lure.
Guy: For what?
Me: Um, fishing. *laugh*
Guy: Well what are you fishing for?
Me: [Due to my conversation with Bri I almost said men, but decided I probably shouldn't make this any worse than it's already headed.] I don't know.
Guy: *Looks at me like I'm an idiot*
Me: It's for my uncle [he's not really my uncle but close enough].
Guy: Well what is he going to be fishing for?
Me: Fish. Ok, I'll stop being a smartass. I don't know. It's a gift for his retirement party. I was told to get a fishing lure, so that's what I'm doing.
Guy: Well the lure really depends on what you are trying to catch, but I'll show you some good ones for multiple types of fish.
Me: Ok.
*Proceeds to show me like 10 different types and tries explaining them.*
Me: Ok, I really don't care, just tell me what to get.
Guy: Um well I would probably go with [narrows it down to three choices].
Me: Ok thanks.
Guy: If you need any more help come find me.
Me: Ok. Have a good day!
I'm sure he loved telling people about that interaction. LOL!

And then I drove home. Really not what I wanted to do this weekend, but I have a dentist appointment to get my retainers tomorrow (yay!) and then I have the retirement party Saturday, so it's ok, at least I do have SOMETHING to do this weekend!

Ok for the pictures! I had one heck of at time in my self-portrait shoot today...I loved so many of the pictures and they are so silly. Oh and as soon as I realized I would have to do my 365 shoot on the road I knew what it would be, and it only took a single shot. Possibly because I only had one chance to get the shot! =)

Day 4 (03.26.09):
a billboard in the Grand Rapids area.
I LOVE this billboard.

Day 4:
I told you the photoshoot was fun!

♥ Sara

"Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for the entire weekend." -Zenna Schaffer

The List.

So, after three requests and one DEMAND (Lauren...lol), I decided to post the list. I'm not claiming my list is for everyone, and I'm sure there are things on it you wouldn't like to do. I showed it to my mom and she cringed at most of the things on there. I definitely get my adrenaline junkiness from my dad, who is just plain crazy.

Ok, enough talk....here it is....and it's in no specific order.
The Bucket List
1. skydive.
2. scuba dive.
3. swim with sharks.
4. drive a motorcycle.
5. drive a racecar.
6. visit every continent.
7. get married.
8. have children.
9. get my Bachelors.
10. get my CCW.
11. get at least one Masters.
12. play paintball.
13. ride a train.
14. parasail.
15. go to a movie. alone.
16. buy a stranger dinner.
17. take a ride in a hot air balloon.
18. downhill ski.
19. cliff dive.
20. swim in the ocean.
21. climb a mountain.
22. learn to knit and/or crochet.
23. write a children's book.
24. read all Stephen King books.
25. go camping. alone.
26. sail.
27. run a 5K race.
28. place top 10.
29. re-learn and stay fluent in sign.
30. go paragliding.
31. ride in a helicopter.
32. go snorkeling in a shipwreck.
33. ride a mechanical bull.
34. go white water rafting.
35. go zorbing.
36. visit Galapagos Islands.
37. visit Grand Canyon.
38. see the northern lights.
39. go to Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
40. go to Times Square on New Years.
41. visit all 50 states.
42. go to Oktoberfest in Germany.
43. visit Venice.
44. visit the Acropolis.
45. visit the Pyramids of Giza.
46. visit Stonehenge.
47. visit the Sydney Opera House.
48. go on a cruise.
49. visit Big Ben.
50. go to Vegas.
51. go to Disney World.
52. go to Berlin.
53. visit the 7 new wonders of the world.
54. visit the Golden Gate Bridge.
55. visit Mount Rushmore.
56. visit Empire State Building.
57. see Statue of Liberty.
58. go to Sea World.
59. visit Universal Studios.
60. visit Waikki Beach.
61. learn to read tarot cards.
62. take a pottery class.
63. start selling jewelry.
64. learn calligraphy.
65. make origami.
66. make a scrapbook.
67. use the ouija board at grandmas.
68. be elected to a political office.
69. make a difference to someone.
70. help build a Habitat for Humanity home.
71. volunteer at a homeless shelter.
72. ring the bell for the Salvation Army.
73. join Big Brothers/Big Sisters.
74. apply for Survivor.
75. take a self-defense class.
76. take a dance class.
77. swim with dolphins.
78. go whale watching.
79. go on a safari.
80. ride a camel.
81. ride an elephant.
82. adopt an animal from the shelter.
83. mush a dog sled.
84. watch turtles hatch and run into the ocean.
85. be a spectator at the Supreme Court.
86. go to a NASCAR race, preferrably with Dad.
87. write my own eulogy, keep it updated.
88. do the the photography 365 challenge.
89. adopt a child or teen.
90. send mom and dad on a surprise vacation.
91. visit Victorian Falls.
92. volunteer with the elderly.
93. spend one day doing random acts of kindness.
94. give a random guy my number.
95. ask a guy on a date.
96. visit the Great Barrier Reef.
97. visit the Figi Islands.
98. visit the Eiffel Tower.
99. visit Leaning Tower of Pisa.
100. water ski.
101. write a book.
102. visit Komodo Island.
103. read the Bible cover to cover.
104. rock climb.
105. re-write Personal Case History at least every 5 years.
106. kiss in the rain.
107. go on a blind date.

And it's a work in progress. I have all the continents and states listed out on the real list as well. My plan is to date them as I complete them and as you saw in picture 1/365 it's in a scrapbook. As I complete things on the list I plan on writing about it, putting in pictures or whatever would be meaningful from the experience and making a scrapbook out of it. It's funny because I just told Bri how much I hate scrabooking, but this will be different, I know what all will be in there and I will be putting it together one event at at time. I would love to hear what you think about the list, what you like, don't like, etc.

I actually wrote from here up at like noon, but I don't have my picture yet and don't want to post multiple blogs in one day, so I will update on my day (if anything exciting happens) and add the picture later and then publish it! =)

OK...so I'm back. I had a fairly uneventful day. I had no motivation for 365 though, no inspiration. So I grabbed my camera while taking Bridget out and ended up with a picture that I love. Also, I have been doing a self-portrait 365, but I wasn't going to share it. Well, I changed my mind. So ya'll will be getting two photos a day. (I will go back and add in days 1 and 2.)

This is the reason I don't get any work done past three! I can see the playground from my couch and forever am watching the kids play and analyzing what they are doing rather than doing homework. Also they repainted the playground equipment last summer, and it looks amazing! =)

Day Three (03.25.09):
playground equipment and buildings in my complex.

Day 3:
end of the day, in my bathroom.
totally forgot about the self-portrait until then. oops.
oh and although I picniked the photo, I didn't change my eye color. crazy green today!

♥ Sara

"The greatest danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we reach it." -Michaelangelo

Ugh.

I don't have anything real exciting to talk about today. I will not spend my time complaining about how much I'm upset with life right now. So that leaves little else to be discussed.

My friend, Brendan, decided that I need to take a 2 year hiatus from dating. LMAO. He's officially an idiot (before it was unofficial). No, I'm not looking, but I'm also not swearing off dating for two years. And most likely if a guy I thought I could be interested in asked me on a date I would totally go, especially with recent developments. UGH.

I did go into Alternative's today! YAY! For the first time in like two months, I am back! And I missed it so much, I wish I had more time to dedicate to them, but for now, it's only Tuesdays. Maybe if I end up staying here I will find more time to spend there. I love the ladies and the work and wouldn't trade my time there for anything. For those of you who don't know what I am talking about Alternative's is a Pregnancy Care Center, I did my internship there last semester and LOVED it. I worked mainly in fundraising and administrative stuff but toward the end I started training to be an advisor. I am most of the way done with my training. I will be starting to advise with an observer next week, kinda nervous about it, but excited at the same time.

For now most of my time is concentrated in school and that's where the inspiration for my picture today came from. So for the picture:

Day 2 (03.24.09):
my schoolbooks and my beloved planner
and yes, it is not black!

Day 2:
this picture really captures how I felt most of the day.
I took like 10 self-portraits and even the ones I smiled in you could tell I wasn't happy.

♥ Sara

"One day you're going to wake up and realize how much you truly love her and when that day comes, she'll be waking up next to the guy who already knows..." -Unknown

I'm not a fan of using Unknown quotes. . .but this one, totally fits today. And next time I might not leave him (the guy who already knows). . .

Excitement.

After my last blog, and how much I hate change, life went and changed on me again. Ben broke it off. Those of you who know me well know why (or as much of a why as I got). It doesn't make me happy in the least, and I cried for a night (and a few other times). But I ate some Cohen & Greenfield's (I'm telling you it gets me through everything!), talked to my bestest and made the tears stop. I'm still not happy with that decision, but it wasn't mine to make so there's nothing I can do about it. A couple of my friends have offered to set me up on blind dates, totally not ready for that. Don't know if I will be for quite a while. Right now there's only one person I want to be with, and dating people I don't want to be with isn't going to make me happy at the moment.

So, I wanted to do what I always do when something I don't like happens (or when I want to reward myself for something great): change myself. (Yes I hate change but I love adding to, or changing my appearance.) But since I cut off my hair already, and I have two piercings healing, I got nothing. Nothing physical that is. And I'm going through personality changes, so nothing else I want to edit there. But there is something new I have wanted to do for a while...and just haven't done. So I did it on the 21st, two days after the break-up (I needed the first night to cry and the first day to be completely numb).

I wrote my bucket list.

Now Dennis thinks I'm morbid and demented, but I think we totally look at it differently. I currently have 106 things on my list. And I will complete them all. That's 106 things to live for. (And I have more, but they are things I live to do every day!) I am so excited to complete these things, and maybe if I get enough requests I will publish it on here so ya'll can enjoy my excitement. In fact I started number 88 today. Number 88 is: do the photography 365 challenge. And I will be sharing this with all of you here. I'm not quite sure if I will blog every day or just take the pictures and blog like once a week. I think I'll try blogging every day, but it might not be possible! =)

Day 1 (03.23.09):
my new shoes, and the first two pages of my bucket list (it's 5 pages long).
(in the bucket list book (a.k.a what was supposed to be my guestbook).)

On another note....I have less than a month left in classes and I walk for graduation one month and two days from today!!!! AHH!!

Day 1:
it's an awful picture of me, but I was trying on my graduation stuff.
so excited to be done!! =)

♥ Sara

"Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens."
-Sex in the City

(Never watched the show but found this quote, LOVE IT.)

Change.

For those of you who know me real well, it doesn't come as a surprise that I'm not, or wasn't, change's biggest fan.... In fact I typically avoid change and like things comfortable and familiar. Heck, I stayed in a crappy apartment with terrible management where nothing gets fixed and isn't exactly safe for three years because it was comfortable!

Well yesterday, as some of you know, I had a freak out moment. I realized I graduate in 35 days. I move. I need a job. I start grad school. Ben should be gone to work. I have very few friends up north, none that I am close to anymore. In just over three months EVERYTHING about my life will have changed. (And the first two of those months are gone, I can't believe it has been two months already!!) Before it was just in the plans and slowly happening but all of a sudden life started passing me by and I had and OMG-shit-is-happening moment!

So I did what I do best. Freaked out. Didn't really do anything other than worry, oh and eat ice cream. (I seriously love Ben & Jerry's ice cream, it gets me through anything!) And then I decided that if life is going to change like that on me I'm going to change right along with it. So I chopped my hair off again. Thought about dying it a different color, but remembered what happened last time and decided against it. Then last night I made a list. A list of everything that is changing and why I should worry about it. And then. . . . I burnt it! =)

Today is a new day. The sun is shining. I went shopping. (Retail therapy is the best!) I'm in a t-shirt and warm. My hair is crazy and I don't know how to make it look good. But life is good. I will make it through my classes. I will graduate. I will move in with my parents. (If it doesn't go well I will move into my house....lol.) I will find a job. (It might take a while and it might not be what I want but I will do it.) I will start grad school. And I will finish grad school. Also I WILL take a vacation somewhere this summer. And I will write and start completing things on my bucket list. . . . even though I know it will be an eternal work in progress.

So freak out is over. Sara is back. And ready to kick some ass in life! =)
♥ Sara

"It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power." - Alan Cohen