Closure.

As those of you who have been known me forever (or have been reading my blog for a while) know, I was engaged once upon a time (March 2008) and I called it off (January 2009) because I wasn't sure that he was right for me. I had a lot of issues to deal with and I didn't want to make a huge mistake. In fact, my first post was explaining this to everyone. And I still hold that there is nothing wrong with him and that he was/is a great guy. Not once in the past year and a half plus have I regretted that decision or wished I would have stuck it out. I know I made the right decision, not only for me, but for him as well.

He started dating one someone a couple weeks after the split and was engaged shortly after our would-have-been wedding date (September 2009) and they set a date for August this year. Last summer, she made him remove me from his life. In all honesty, I don't blame her one bit. I'm not sure how I would handle that situation either. It broke my heart because he was so much to me, even after all romantic feelings were removed. But I supported their relationship and wasn't going to do anything to cause problems for them. I truly did love him (just not in a romantic, I-want-to-spend-my-life-with-you way).

She is still facebook friends with me. So, for the past week I have been watching their wedding pictures come through my newsfeed. Of course, I had to look at some. In doing so, I can say I'm truly happy for him and hope nothing but the very best for him and his wife. On the other hand I can't help but feel a little jealous (as I am with most of my friend's relationships). He was my security blanket and he saved me (I don't really want to go into details about what that means, not here, not now). And I really do miss our friendship.

My jealousy isn't that I want to be with him, not at all. It's that deep down I desire that type of relationship. But then again if you are an avid reader of this blog, you know that. I just hope someday I find it. Maybe one day I'll find the guy that can handle me for the long haul. For now, I'm pretty content. I still hold that I'm not going to jump into anything unless I'm sure it's what I want and therefore the right thing for me.

I figured I would share this with you, seeing as I share nearly every part of my life since that relationship ended here and I feel as though this brings some sort of closure to that small part of the story that is my life.

Song of the Day:

My Wish by Rascal Flatts

[Seems pretty fitting for this post. And therefore I would say it is self-explanatory.]

♥ Sara

"The highest happiness on earth is marriage." -William Lyon Phelps