I think I've figured out a way. . .

to blog more often.

I downloaded an app on my phone! (I'm trying to remember how I lived without a smart phone. So ironic considering I was adamantly against getting one. . . ) Now I just click the icon and I am writing a post. Much more convenient. . . :)

Work
I am working at the Clarion this summer and it's nothing like last summer was. I am only working around 40 to 50 hours and told Dave (the manager) that I *won't* work more than 60.

I have too many other, more important, things to be doing with my time.

It's also different from the aspect of the stress level. I'm doing the same job, but Dave runs the hotel is much different than anywhere else I have worked. It's much calmer and low stress.

Class
That's right. I'm taking a class again. In the summer. I need my head examined.

I'm taking a class for my EMT Basic certification. I've talked about and thought about doing it since I got into the fire service, and I finally decided it was what I wanted to do.

So now I spend at least 8 hours a week in class, plus study time and soon I'll be doing clinicals too. *sigh*

But, it will all be over in August.

Then I'll be on call with the ambulance.

And shortly after that we'll have the

Wedding
Wedding planning is going well. I'm freaking out about it but I think I'm actually pretty on top of things.

I have my dress. The girl's dresses are ordered. The cake is paid for. The flowers are set up. We have an officiant, reception hall, ceremony site and photographer. The flower girl and ringbearer items are at the house. The DJ and caterer are set. I have the invitations being made. And my super awesome cake topper is here.

I am most worried about the decorations and favors because I am doing them (with the assistance of my awesome nieces). Other than that, I need to figure out who is doing our hair, get the bar set, order the tuxes, buy gifts, get the dress altered and write vows. Just a few things. ;-)

Spare Time
I have none!!

Other exciting news: John and I are planning on building an addition to our tiny house. VERY exciting!!

Well, that's all for now. I'll be writing soon!
♥ Sara

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.1

Jabruary.

I know, I've gone missing again. . . .

Here's what I've decided. I'm not going to worry about blogging about every detail I missed since the last time I posted (unless it's significant). I seem to worry about posting a lot of information or details, which stresses me out because I get to far behind, so I put it off, then I get further behind and it is a vicious, vicious cycle.

Since the last time I posted about life. . . here are a few highlights:
January 30 - My mom, Tierney and I went dress shopping in Gaylord. The dress-shop-lady was willing to accept my old dress for a credit on a new dress. I guess that means I won't be able to have a million adventures in my old dress. (See this post for what I'm talking about. . . :) ) But I am very excited about my new dress. It is gorgeous! (And it was the first one I tried on. . . WHY does it always happen that way?! I can try on 500 dresses and always end up with the first one.)

January 31 - We signed the contract for our reception hall!

February 9-13 - John went to Canada. Now, I had a million and one plans of things I was going to do while he was gone: things I wanted to do around the house, wedding plans I wanted to work on, etc. He should have been gone a month. . .lol. Instead I ended up spending quite a bit of time with my family and his family, more his than mine. I had dinner with family every night, and made it to one of Tier's games. I might not have gotten my stuff done, but I was certainly happy to see him when he got home. :)

February 21 - Krissi and Seth stopped in on their way from Cedarville to Kalamazoo, it was so good to see them! :)

February 26 - We had the 7th Annual Cheboygan County Dinner Dance and Auction. Remember last year? I made 1107 jello shots? This year, I cut it back to 900, thinking that I just made too many last year. Well, this year I was sold out by 930, and I started selling at 7!! The party was definitely fun, and better than last year because I was able to relax more, we made more money, and I had John with me. :)

Other highlights: snowmobiling, ice fishing, playing cards with Nate and Melissa, a couple fire runs (nothing too exciting), John shaved my cat (yes you read that right), spending time with Ricky, having dinners with each set of parents, taking Rickers and spending a day with my mom, working on other wedding plans, cuddling on the couch watching movies once in a while. . . just life. :)

Now that I feel "caught up" hopefully I can start posting more.
♥ Sara

"Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know
too much to learn something new."
-Og Mandino

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

Well hello there! I'm back, for now. . . ;)

Since Christmas we have been pretty busy.

Some of the highlights:

We've had dinner with my family a couple times, once my parents came here and we went to my brother and sister in law's for dinner once. I love having dinner with the family. And I really love spending time with my niece and nephew. I don't see them nearly enough anymore. When I still lived with my mom and dad full time I saw them almost daily, now I see them maybe twice a month. And living 45 minutes away doesn't help that. . . Oh well, part of growing up I guess. . . .

Shawnia and the kids came up to go to the water park. The hotel I work at has a water park connected to it, so we spent a few hours there and then had dinner with them.

Katie and Justin came up here on vacation for New Years so one night John, Ricky and I went to Petoskey to have dinner with them. It was. . . different. I wish I could say our relationship was completely repaired and back to normal. But, regrettably, I can't. It was somewhat awkward for me (and it takes a lot to make me awkward). I was very happy to see them though. Justin got a job in Chicago and they have moved there, so I don't know when I'll see them again. I do wish that Katie and I talked more. . . maybe with time.

John and I stayed in and didn't do anything special for New Year's Eve. Just spent the night together. Perfection in my eyes. :)

On the 4th and 5th, John and I pulled up our carpet in the living room and put down laminate wood flooring. I *love* it. It's so much easier to clean and looks so much nicer!

Old Floor. . .

New Floor!

Also on the 5th we had our first fire together. Well, by the time we got there it wasn't a fire anymore, but rather just overhauling. It was still enjoyable, and definitely a long night. (Why is it that the majority of fire calls seem to happen in the middle of the effing night?!?)

I'll be writing another post about my cousin's lovely wedding! :D

♥ Sara

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
-Hal Borland

Merry Christmas! (two days late!)

I spent most of this week baking and making candies in order to prepare for the day after Christmas. I made roughly 20 dozen cookies and over 20 dozen candies. Every year I say I'm not doing it again. . . but I always do. . .

December 23rd I not only baked and made candy, but I also finished wrapping my gifts and made a gingerbread house. We had Ricky, so of course I had help doing all of the above. :) He is so adorable.

[I find it so ironic that one of the reasons I was hesitant to date John was because he had a son. I had a list of reasons why that would bother me, and now that little boy has me wrapped right around his finger.]

I had bought a gingerbread house to make for my 101/1001 project back at the beginning of the season. With the move and settling into the house I hadn't had an opportunity to make it. And I kept telling John he was going to help me, he kept telling me he wasn't. I cheated, I got the kid involved. ;) So, the three of us decorated the gingerbread house. Quite possibly the most pathetic one I have ever seen, and I'm pretty sure that was due to the adults. But we had fun, and that's all that matters.

Christmas Eve I had to work until 4, but after that we had our Christmas with Rickers (he was at his mom's for Christmas Day). He opened his presents and we ate dinner. Then we played with his toys for a bit before going home and watching a movie until it was time for him to leave.

After his mom picked him up, John and I our gifts since I wouldn't be around on Christmas Day. He got me a gorgeous necklace, tools and a toolbox. :) When we were done exchanging gifts we walked over to his sister and brother-in-law's for a little bit before I had to be lame and go to bed.

my necklace. :)

tools and box. :)

I was scheduled to work 7 am until 2 am on Christmas Day, but two of my co-workers, Andy and Wesley, love me and worked it out so I could leave at 7 pm. *insert big smiles here* I got out of work and snuck over to John's parents' house. I didn't even bother stopping at our house to change. It was Christmas and I wanted to spend it with people I care about. We were at his family gathering for a while before we headed home for the night.

Baking still wasn't finished. I made my eclairs and called it a night. I was exhausted and knew I needed sleep in order to make it through yesterday.

Yesterday, we got up in the morning and I finished the eclairs and my last batch of chocolates, got ready and headed to my parents' house. We opened gifts with them, then open gifts with Jason and Shawnia and had dinner. Later in the evening some of my dad's family came over for cookies and candies.

Of course, just as we were sitting down for dinner, I got a call from work asking me to come in because someone else was a no-show. I initially told them I would come in right after dinner. John and the family exploded. They are all sick of me being willing to go in at the drop of a hat, no matter what other plans I have, no matter what I am doing, no matter who I am with, no matter how I feel.

They stole my keys.

So I told work I would be in when I could, and only ended up working for like three hours. In that time, John took down our tree and cleaned the living room.

I know. . . I'm lucky.

Merry Christmas ya'll!!

John couldn't find any gift tags. . .

neither could Dad. . . .

SCARY!

♥ Sara

"The best of all gifts around any Christmas tree: the presence of a happy
family all wrapped up in each other."
-Burton Hillis

Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

As I write this, I am at work. And so full that I feel as though I might throw up. :)

This morning I got ready for work and went out to John's parents' house with him for a little while. We played with Ricky and just hung out for a bit before I had to go to work.

I volunteered to work today because at that time I didn't know I was going to end up in relationship and definitely didn't expect it to be one where I would feel comfortable going to Thanksgiving dinner with his entire family. I should learn to stop expecting stuff. And I knew my family's Thanksgiving wouldn't work for me unless I was to have the entire day off and that certainly wasn't going to happen.

So I have to work noon until midnight today. But have no fear, John brought me an amazing Thanksgiving dinner. I ate about 1/3 of it before I had to give up and put it in the fridge for later. I've been dieting for a couple months trying to (healthily) lose the weight that I gained after I started working up here so my body doesn't know what to do with this much food.

my Thanksgiving dinner. . . I was warned dessert would be coming later. Eek! :)

While I am here, and since it is Thanksgiving, I figured I would share a few things I am thankful for this year. Not something I usually do.

I am. . .

. . . thankful for my parents. They have done so much for me and I definitely wouldn't be at this place in my life without their help.

. . . thankful for my job. Even though I hate it at times, for the most part I love it. And I'm just happy to have one.

. . . thankful for volunteer opportunites. I love the fire department and am looking into working at the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Cheboygan if I ever get the right days off.

. . . thankful for my friends. I have numerous "groups" of friends and I don't know what I would do without them. I have been through so much in the last year or so and they have been there for me through it all.

. . . thankful for my health. I'm hoping this isn't me jinxing myself but I am so happy that I have went *so* long without being truly sick. A cold is nothing. I have had no relapses with my autoimmune stuff and my biopsies have been coming back the same as "normal" for me.

. . . thankful for my furbabies. They are great, I'm happy to have them living with me again.

. . . thankful to be on my own. There's something about taking care of myself and my own stuff that makes me feel amazing. (Although now I have someone helping take care of me, but that's different. *smiles*)

. . . thankful for him. SO thankful for him. He is exactly what I want, and, I think I met him at exactly the right time.

. . . thankful for my life in general. There isn't much I would change, and none of it is major. :)

♥ Sara

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy

The Penthouse Part 3 - The Video Tour

Just for you, Mom (and whoever else wants to watch it)!! :D

Sorry I look like crud. . .I've spent the day cleaning, organizing and doing homework. . . . :-/

♥ Sara

"If you have a mom, there is nowhere you are likely to go where a prayer has not already been."
-Robert Brault

The Penthouse Part 2 - Photo Tour.

Since my mom can't come visit I decided to do a photo tour of my apartment for her, after many requests. Sorry mom, I wanted to make sure it was clean before I took pictures!!!

The stairs I will someday fall down.

My tiny kitchen.

My refrigerator *almost* opens all the way.

The rest of the kitchen.

Tiny sink.

The bathroom.

The infamous shower.

Ok, I can't stand up here. . .

I have to kneel or sit to shower. . . :-/

Dining table. . . into living room.

Vanity, dresser, bed, other dresser.

The view from the corner of my living room.

My living room.

Overall, I like it! :)

♥ Sara

"To dare to live alone is the rarest courage; since there are many who had
rather meet their bitterest enemy in the field, than their own hearts in their
closet."
-Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1825

The Penthouse.

Welp, yesterday I officially moved into my new apartment. I worked until 1, then unloaded my car. While I waited for dad to get here with his truck, I went with John to pick up a couch for the apartment. By the time I got back Nick and Dad had the truck unpacked with the exception of the big stuff. Dad and I took the mattress up then "supervised" the guys carrying up the rest. I have to say, it was some good entertainment. The door had to be taken off to get my box spring in the apartment, and the couch never did fit, no matter how they turned it or how hard they pushed. And it wasn't even *my* couch. [Those of you who helped me move before remember the disaster that my old couch was to move! In this blog post there is a pic to help you understand the mess that moving that couch was. My friends loved it. We even had to take thedoor off for that one too!]

*Thank you to Dad, John and Nick for helping!*

My new apartment is on the third floor (again) of an old house (aka, the attic) in Mackinaw City. Dad calls it the penthouse because I have the entire top floor, not hardly. I know, I'm *so* good at picking apartments to live in. (My old apartment was also on the third floor and a huge pain in the ass to move into, yet easy in comparison to this one.) But it's perfect for what I needed, I wouldn't mind a much larger kitchen, but sacrifices had to be made. And the shower is, well, an experience. (And if you ever come visit you will get to see exactly what I mean.) I'll post pictures on this blog as soon as I get them taken.

I am excited to be on my own. Excited to have the independence. Excited to not have to get up for work at five (blargh) anymore. Excited that once it starts snowing I won't have to turn a 45 minute drive into an over-two-hour drive because I won't be able to see a thing in a few spots. Excited that my parents and the rest of my family still only lives a short distance away and that I don't have to drive five hours to see them. Excited that when my family has get-togethers I can now request the afternoon off and go! Excited that my friends can come visit and have a place to stay (as long as they don't all come at once, lol).


Yes, some of these things make me nervous. But I'm definitely more excited than nervous! Be patient for the pictures, I want to get everything unpacked and my apartment cleaned before I take them. :)

one of the first pictures I took of the Bridge. . . IN NOVEMBER!

Song of the Day:
Speak Now by Taylor Swift
[I have been obsessed with this song lately. And I don't see there ever being a case where I want to use it because I relate to it (goodness, I hope not!!) so I figured I would post it here.]
♥ Sara

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-A. A. Milne

Reflections.

on my way to my day off. . .

cooler with drinks, steak and salad + wood for a fire + private beach = perfection.

If I was to say my life right now was all I had imagined it would be at any point during the last ten years, I would be lying. If someone would have told me a year ago that I would be working a over 100 hours a week and living in Mackinaw, I would have looked at them like they were crazy. Hell, a year ago I was still trying to stay in Kalamazoo!

Now, I'm not saying I hate my life or anything like that. It just makes me think about what could have been and what is to come. This is where my mind tends to wander while I'm at work for at least 15 hours a day.


I'm going to divide my thoughts into separate sections partially for your benefit, but mostly for mine to keep myself from rambling too much. :)

sunset at the end of my parents' road.

Love

I'm sure it shocks everyone (or no one) that this made my list of things to ramble about. I think the longer I am single, the more cynical I become. I don't know how to explain it. In the past, what, 5 or 6 years, this is the longest I have been without a relationship (I know, it's only been like six months. And I'm not saying it's a bad thing.). I find myself thinking critically of other people's relationships and looking back at my past relationships and wondering if love actually exists. I'm not talking about familial love, or friendship love. I know for a fact that they exist, which I will likely write about later in this post.

Maybe it's not so much love that I doubt as it is the idea of a soulmate or one person who is right for me. Maybe it's my doubt in other people that leads me to doubt love in this sense. Maybe it's my doubt in my future. Maybe it's the fact that I have been let down in the past and I'm afraid that it will happen again, or that I will make it happen to another person.

Now, I'm sure I could be in a relationship if I wanted to, but I have decided I will not do so unless I'm 100% sure of it. And I'm not. I have been through too many shitty relationships to get myself in yet another. Plus, right now, I work too many hours a week to even entertain the idea of a relationship with anyone. I get nine hours a day off work. That is barely enough time to sleep, shower and get ready for work. Certainly not enough time to share with another person.

I LOVE roasted marshmallows.

Work

Speaking of work. . . it is my life. I have no time for anything else. I have quit drinking completely (I didn't have a problem, I just don't have the time and it's easier this way.), so going out is rare. I guess that's a good thing though because I don't have time to go out. I have to say it is interesting around here. Between guests, coworkers and random things that happen it's rare that a day goes by without something exciting going on. I think at the end of the season I'll write about my work experience and share some of those things with you. Or maybe I'll video blog about it. :)

I am looking forward to the end of the season though, when work is over. But it's not like I'll be done for good, most likely I will be working for mom this year. Ya'll know I can't stand not doing anything. And now that I have been working this much I can't imagine not doing it. I hope that makes sense.

Starting after Labor Day, whenever we have less than twenty rooms rented, I will have the day off. Pretty much, I will be working only on the weekends after Labor Day. I will still be getting a minimum of 40 hours a week. I'm definitely not upset about that. I will probably be thrilled to have the break by then. :)

the sand between the lake and the stream.

School

I don't think I mentioned it before because I wanted to figure out if I am going, where I am going, when I am going and what I am going for before I brought it up. I have decided that I am fact going. I will be starting my Master's degree through Liberty University August 23. My classes are all online, so I will be able to do it from the comfort of home, er, work. For the first month or so of classes I will still be working. Yes, I am aware that I am insane.

What am I going for, you ask? Well, my heart and my head were torn. It was between a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy and a Master of Business Administration with an emphasis on Accounting.

My heart wanted to go for the MA because it would put me in a better position to help people in my job. If you know me well, you know that I have a strong desire for helping others, and like my love issue, that will be discussed later on. But this field isn't exactly a happening field to be in. Also, marriage and family therapists don't make very much money, especially not in the beginning.

My head wanted to go for the MBA because it would lead to more jobs, and most likely more money. I wanted to have an emphasis on accounting because I know that is something I (somewhat) enjoy and I can then sit for my CPA exam.

I'm sure you can figure out that my head won. I feel that it should have and that I made the right decision. (I'll let you know if I still feel that way in a couple years.) I have to take two undergraduate classes in the fall for prerequisites, then it is graduate classes from then on out. I know my grad classes will be ridiculous, so hopefully work won't be so intensive when I start them. Wish me luck! :)

my parents

Family

I felt like including family in this blog because working here makes me appreciate my family even more than I did before. Believe it or not, I think I miss them more now than I did when I was living in Kalamazoo. When I lived in Kalamazoo I was able to talk to them more often, and I was able to see friends and get out of my apartment. Here, I rarely leave my apartment/work or see people outside of my roommates and a few other employees up here. Thankfully, I have wonderful parents who come up to visit me now and then. Since I started the new schedule, they have promised to come visit once a week or so. I am so happy to hear this. :)

And I promised I would come back to the love thing. My parents are the reason I can say hands down that love does exist. They have been there for me through everything. And by everything, I mean everything. I cannot express here how much I appreciate them and all they have done for me. In fact, it's not even worth trying. I will just say I have amazing parents and even though there are times when I don't agree with them, and there are certainly times they don't agree with me, they are the best.

she hated the lake, but loved the stream. I think she was afraid of the waves.

he, on the other hand, couldn't get enough of the water. :)

Volunteering

I think volunteering is one of the things I miss most about being here. I missed the pregnancy care center even before working up here. Now I miss it even more. Something about being able to help people and knowing that I am making a difference just does something for me. I think I'm going to try to start working at a center up here when I'm done with the season, if I have the time.

If you know me well you know I thrive off of helping others. Hell, here I am referred to as "mom" because I cook and clean and take care of the guys as much as I can. Not because I am expected to or asked to, but because I want to. (But I do appreciate help from them now and then. *hint, hint* :)...)

I also miss firefighting, even though we hadn't had that many fires. I even miss doing maintenance stuff around the station. (Never thought I would say that one!) Last week they had a fire and I got a text message about it. I was so sad that I wasn't home for it. Oh well, soon enough I will be back to the house and able to go fire calls (if we ever get them) and will once again be able to go down to the station and work. Plus I won't have to miss meetings anymore!

I had an meeting for the party committee for the Fireman's Dinner, Dance and Auction last week on my last day off for the season. Yep, that's right, we are really planning ahead this year. I'm excited for February to get here for that. Put it on your calendars and come support us! :)

enjoying my last day off.

Last Day Off.

August 4th was my last day off for the season. I have to say it was pretty amazing. I was able to go home the evening of the 3rd. On my way home I stopped and got my ear pierced again, an industrial this time. Then I went to vote, picked Dad up from home and went to our fire meeting. I was able to get a FULL night's sleep, take care of some things that needed to be taken care of, then spend my entire afternoon/evening at the beach. I loved that my day included sun, Stephen King, steak, s'mores and a swimsuit. :) But now, I'm working every day, 15 hours a day. Oh well, in the end it will be worth it.

the dock I spent my day on.

Song of the Day:

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

[The lyrics are self-explanatory. The more time I spend thinking about my life, the more I feel like my planning is useless because it isn't going to turn out the way I planned anyhow, even though that might not be a bad thing. I'm just kinda along for the ride, seeing where life takes me. I don't feel like this is a negative thing, as long as I have accepted it, and I have. I'm excited to see where I end up in a year, or five, or even better yet, twenty-five. :) ]

♥ Sara

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."
-Joseph Campbell

#117 - Completed.

117. go out to eat alone.

Disclaimer: I have no idea how this blog got to be this long! So I will be subtitling it so you can skip parts you don't care about if you want! :)

Wednesday Thru Sunday.

So this couple days off thing might be rather beneficial for my blogging! I worked Wednesday thru Saturday like I had said. Then Saturday night I went out for a couple hours before heading home for the night. When I got home I crashed. I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping.

When I wasn't sleeping yesterday, I was figuring out my returns/exchanges for some clothes I ordered, eating strawberries and sugar with dad and hanging out with the kids. For as long as I can remember strawberries have been my favorite fruit. Ever. And Dad would often buy (and still does) pints of strawberries and we would (and still do) sit and eat them together while dipping them in the sugar bowl. Have you ever dipped strawberries in a sugar bowl? It makes a strawberry-sugar mess. Mom *loves* it when we do that. I swear one day I will buy her her own sugar bowl! :)

strawberry in the sugar bowl. :)

Jeremiah and Shianne were here for the day, I spent an hour or so hanging out with them in the hot tub. Yes, the hot tub when it was like 70 degrees outside, we didn't have it very hot. But it was fun, those kids are getting so big! I always said I would never say that. . . I still refuse to say it directly to kids, but those two make me feel old. Seriously.

Anyhow, after they went home, I took a nap, then watched a movie, then went to bed. I don't know what my deal is but I have been SO tired lately.

this fly was amazing to photograph. he let me take like 10 pictures of him.

Doctor's Visit.

Today I had to get up early to go to the doctor. When I went to see my family doctor about having my mole removed I reminded him that it's time for another biopsy of my esophagus. Well the doctor who did it before has since left the area so he had to find a new doctor for me. She is a gastroenterologist out of Petoskey and I actually liked her. She didn't give me any bullshit or tell me that the diagnosis couldn't be possible and she was very straightforward about what it means. Finally. Let's see if she keeps it up . . . I have my biopsy Tuesday then will be seeing her again shortly thereafter to go over my results.

For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Barrett's Esophagus, a condition that can lead to esophageal cancer, four years ago now. I went through three biopsies over a year and discussion of surgery then, but they opted out of doing the surgery and decided to just take care of my gallbladder at that time. So, I was told that in three years I would need to have another biopsy done. Well, I passed the three year mark by a couple of months now, I've kinda been putting it off. Something about going through a bunch of medical procedures drives me nuts. Of course, this will be my third biopsy in less than two months. Woo. Freaking. Hoo. Wish me luck, and I'm sure I'll have an interesting story after it. I tend to do crazy things when I'm sedated. And if any of you are interested in the procedure I will be going through it is called an esophagogastroduodenoscopy, also known as either an EGD or upper endoscopy. And here is a link to the site that I found to be most informative about it.

mom's ladyslippers are out.

Shopping.

When I got done at the doctor's office I decided to go shopping because I really wanted a white shirt for work. I ended up getting a couple shirts and an awesome pair of boots at the first store I went to and a couple of shirts, a few pairs of nylons and a few skirts for work at the second one. I went shopping at the right time! Everything I bought was on a major sale and I saved like 150% of what I spent. Score! And I have no buyer's remorse. My way of looking at it was that I have to go back to Petoskey Tuesday for the biopsy so I have a week to decide if I want to keep it all. . . Looks like I do. :) Who would have thought that shopping for work clothes would put me in such a good mood, especially when I don't feel content with my body at this time? (If you know me well you know that the days I feel content with my body are few and far between. . . ) In all honesty, I love that I have to get dressed up for work.

you know how I feel about dandelions! :D

Completing a Bucket List Item.

After shopping I was STARVING. I was going to pick something up from BAB for lunch. But then I remembered my bucket list and decided to knock off one of the items since it has been so neglected lately. So I decided to go into BAB and eat. It really wasn't bad at all. In fact, I think I actually enjoyed the time to myself.

self-portrait action shot.

Independence and Relationships.

I've always thought of myself as one of those people who needed someone with me, but I think I have changed a lot in regards to that in the past year and a half or so. I lived alone in Kalamazoo for a few months and didn't really even talk to many people outside of school, work and meetings. For the past few months, I have done pretty much everything by myself. Hell, I even go to the bar alone. (There will always be people I know there, but I drive there alone, go in alone, and go home alone.) It seems as though I have been realizing just how much I don't need other people. I mean. . .I am a people person, I need people in my life, don't get me wrong. But I'm not so much dependent on other people to do things or for my happiness, er, rather, to feel content.

I loved photographing this caterpillar, even though he wouldn't remain still. At all.

Never have I been so comfortable without a committed relationship in my life. I don't know, maybe my mind will change on that at some point. But not now. It is rather ironic to me that I feel that way now. I remember when someone close to me that he just had no desire for a relationship, that he was happier single and I thought he was freaking crazy. (Ya'll should know who I am talking about if you are an avid blog reader, or at least if you have been around since the beginning.) Now, I understand. I know part of it is that I have been hurt so many times in the past, and I really am that guarded now. Another part is that I now absolutely refuse to be in a relationship with someone until I feel absolutely certain that it is what I want. Plus, I love that I can talk to whoever I want, act how I want, dress how I want, eat what I want, exercise when I feel like it (or not! ;) ), and just do whatever I want whenever I want to without having to answer to anyone or explain what I'm doing and my reasoning for doing it. I feel so. . .. liberated.

Now, I know what happens every single time I go on a tangent like this. . . so yeah, we'll see if it happens this time! And no, I'm not hoping it will. But I'm also not going to pass up something amazing just because I'm scared if I feel it is right. I don't know if any of this made sense to anyone else. . . but it did in my head. And ya'll know the real reason I write is for my own benefit! :)

mom's spirea bush. (this is smaller than a quarter)

Back to life. . .

The Rest of the Day.

After I finished eating, I stopped and saw my grandparents. I haven't seen them in a while again because my work schedule isn't exactly visiting friendly, and when I'm not working I've been busy. So I visited with them for a bit, they seem to be doing pretty well. :)

Then I came home and spent some time taking pictures (the ones that are scattered in this blog). I hate how warm it is outside (It was 88 according to grandma and grandpa's thermometer.), but man, summer presents some amazing photo opportunities. The flowers are gorgeous. The sunsets are gorgeous, the sun itself is perfect, and the colors just pop! I still love photographing in the winter, and even moreso in the fall, but I have to find SOMETHING positive about summer! When I came in the house, I showed my parents my new clothes. They loved them! I spent some time organizing stuff in my room and filling out paperwork for my biopsy before I went outside to clean out the car.

It is so obvious I live in my, er, mom's car. I had clothes, shoes, food, coats and tons of garbage in it. I cleaned out all of the good stuff that didn't belong in there and dumped all the garbage in the garbage can then organized my stuff that I leave in the car (shoes, food, fire gear) in my trunk. So, once I vacuum it, it will be amazingly clean. :)

the reason summer is ok.

Once the car was cleaned, I came in and took a shower and got ready to go to dinner. Ben and I made plans last week for dinner but he cancelled on me so we rescheduled for tonight. It's always good to see him. And he's leaving for work again next week, so it was perfect timing. After our dinner I went to Walmart and did some grocery shopping. Then I went down to the lake and took some more pictures before heading home.

Now I'm sitting on my bed. Looking through my pictures. Thinking that it's probably time I go to sleep. I know, I'm boring! ;)

the lake after sunset.

Song of the Day:

Rain Is A Good Thing by Luke Bryan

[I love how catchy this song is. Plus I love rain! ;) Also, if you listen to it he says "warshin" instead of "washin" which makes me laugh. Katie always adds a "r" to wash. So she would like to visit "Warshington D.C." and "George Warshington" was our first president and she "warshes her clothes in the warshing machine." She says the r is silent when you spell it. *rolls eyes*

Anyways. . . the song is a good one. Oh and Luke Bryan is definitely worth looking at. :)]

♥ Sara

"I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves." - Shirley MacLaine

Time Off.

Don't fall off your chair! Yes, I am writing a blog! :)

I had the past four days off and had a ton of goals for myself. The most important ones got accomplished, or almost accomplished. I also wanted to write a blog while I was off, so of course I am writing it five hours before I have to be back to work! Haha. I am such a slacker sometimes.

I even took some time to smell the roses, er, lilacs. :)

Work has been great. I have been working at least 40 hours a week. I actually enjoy it. I know, right? A job NOT in my field that I enjoy? I didn't expect to find that. And honestly, when I started there I didn't expect to enjoy it. I had a day off on Wednesday, it was the first day off I had aside from my fire exam in three weeks. Craziness.

Oh! My fire exam! I passed!!!! :) I got the call three days after the test. And all of the people that were in fire 1 and 2 with me passed as well. Very exciting!

All of my college classes are over now. FINALLY! I didn't remember what it was like to not have to worry about some form of homework or classes or something. These last four days have been incredibly relaxing. I didn't have to worry about homework, or going to class, or working, or looking for a job. Even when I was searching for a job and unemployed, it wasn't relaxing. I was so stressed out about the job situation it wasn't even funny. . .

while on my mini vacation I worked on developing my love affair with my new camera.

she (the camera) needs a name. any ideas?

I had a great weekend! I had been waiting for last weekend for a while and it turned out to be awesome. That's all I need to say about that, I think. I really am trying to NOT write about the details of my life until they are something that NEEDS to be written about or until it's something that is semi-permanent in my life. I don't know if that makes sense to you or not, but it does to me.

Anyhow, that was my Saturday and early Sunday. Sunday afternoon I had a fire meeting and filled air tanks. I spent Sunday night and Monday working on my laundry and putting it all away. I had SO many clothes to put away, and a couple loads to wash. Ugh. Hopefully I keep up on it from here on out. I do have a little bit more to do today before I go to work, but not too much.

Some shots. . . the first one was taken Sunday and the second was on Monday.

i love dandelions.

Monday I also had my mole on my back removed. :( I was so sad to see it go. But I was even more sad when my local anesthesia wore off! It hurt like crazy! Then yesterday I somehow ripped out a stitch (I had two or three, I was told three but dad could only see two.) and now it's open and hurts. Ugh. If this comes back benign, my doctor will not be touching anything on me that doesn't hurt. Seriously.

before I hopped in the shower to get ready to go to the doctor. see the mole?

where my mole used to be.

After my doctor's visit dad and I went and got ice cream and were going to the park to eat it. But he took me to the ball fields instead to watch Shianne play ball. And I got to take some awesome pictures of it! I was so happy because I rarely have time off when she has games.

my nephew.

my niece sliding into home.

Then last night we had our last Firefighters' Association meeting of the year. And by of the year I mean until September. The boys don't like having meetings in the summer because they are "too busy." *rolls eyes* It's amazing we get anything done only having 9 meetings a year. Ya know? Whatever works for them.

So, here I sit. Drinking my coffee. Listening to Drew Carey's annoying voice on the tv. (Mom watches Price is Right and I'm upstairs.) Thinking about how I should be putting away clothes. Dreading getting dressed and going to work. I know this week is going to be murder. I work 4 pm-midnight tonight, 8am - 4pm tomorrow, 4pm - midnight Friday and . . . . brace yourself. . . 7am - midnight Saturday. *sigh* Hopefully I won't work 8am - 4pm Sunday!

Well, I guess I'm off to put away my clothes. Thanks for reading!

Song of the Day:

Animal Crackers in my Soup by Shirley Temple

[Nick is going to hell because this song is stuck in my head. Sunday he was over and I said something about grilled cheese and tomato soup and he asked me if I was going to put animal crackers in it. I didn't get it. So we listened to the song. Yep. And it's stuck. So between that and the hippo song that I made him listen to I have a silly song in my head at all times. :) ]

♥ Sara

"I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich." -Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford, "Identity Crisis," M*A*S*H