Jabruary.

I know, I've gone missing again. . . .

Here's what I've decided. I'm not going to worry about blogging about every detail I missed since the last time I posted (unless it's significant). I seem to worry about posting a lot of information or details, which stresses me out because I get to far behind, so I put it off, then I get further behind and it is a vicious, vicious cycle.

Since the last time I posted about life. . . here are a few highlights:
January 30 - My mom, Tierney and I went dress shopping in Gaylord. The dress-shop-lady was willing to accept my old dress for a credit on a new dress. I guess that means I won't be able to have a million adventures in my old dress. (See this post for what I'm talking about. . . :) ) But I am very excited about my new dress. It is gorgeous! (And it was the first one I tried on. . . WHY does it always happen that way?! I can try on 500 dresses and always end up with the first one.)

January 31 - We signed the contract for our reception hall!

February 9-13 - John went to Canada. Now, I had a million and one plans of things I was going to do while he was gone: things I wanted to do around the house, wedding plans I wanted to work on, etc. He should have been gone a month. . .lol. Instead I ended up spending quite a bit of time with my family and his family, more his than mine. I had dinner with family every night, and made it to one of Tier's games. I might not have gotten my stuff done, but I was certainly happy to see him when he got home. :)

February 21 - Krissi and Seth stopped in on their way from Cedarville to Kalamazoo, it was so good to see them! :)

February 26 - We had the 7th Annual Cheboygan County Dinner Dance and Auction. Remember last year? I made 1107 jello shots? This year, I cut it back to 900, thinking that I just made too many last year. Well, this year I was sold out by 930, and I started selling at 7!! The party was definitely fun, and better than last year because I was able to relax more, we made more money, and I had John with me. :)

Other highlights: snowmobiling, ice fishing, playing cards with Nate and Melissa, a couple fire runs (nothing too exciting), John shaved my cat (yes you read that right), spending time with Ricky, having dinners with each set of parents, taking Rickers and spending a day with my mom, working on other wedding plans, cuddling on the couch watching movies once in a while. . . just life. :)

Now that I feel "caught up" hopefully I can start posting more.
♥ Sara

"Take the attitude of a student, never be too big to ask questions, never know
too much to learn something new."
-Og Mandino

We will make it.

Lately, I have heard numerous comments like "If you [they] make it" (depending on if I was hearing it first or second hand). And I've had a ghost from my past come back in my life [again], the same ghost that has made me doubt nearly every relationship I have been in. But this time, it was different. This time he just made me realize how happy I really am. How sure I really am. How definite this really is.

How do I know? I never thought you would ask. ;)

(Mind you this is not a comprehensive list, and there are some reasons that just cannot be put into words.)

I don't think "what if?"

If you know me well, you know I *always* wonder what if, about everything. That is, everything except my relationship with John. I don't wonder what if it hadn't *finally* happened. I don't wonder what if I had dated someone else. I can't imagine my life without him now.

I don't like having a guy flirt with me.

In every other relationship I have been in I still appreciated it when a guy tried hitting on me or picking me up. I liked knowing that if (when) it ended I had other options (I realize how bad that makes me sound). Now I just find it annoying.

I have everything I want, and no other guy has a shot with me.

I have no desire to do things I used to.

I don't drink. I don't go to the bars. I don't go to parties.

I don't miss it.

I am content with my life right now (minus the job situation).

Most of my life I have wanted to change something. I've wanted to run. I've wanted to be somewhere else. I have felt trapped in many of my life situations. And when I didn't feel trapped I felt like something is missing.

I don't want to leave.

We have had a few fights, fights that in the past would have made me run. I am good at running. I am good at not caring.

Just not when it comes to him.

I cry.

Now I know this sounds odd to you, random reader, but you, close friend of mine, completely understand this. I don't cry. Correction - I didn't cry. I used to say that the reason I didn't cry was because I didn't care enough to cry. I think I was right. Rather than getting angry, I cry. Rather than yelling, I cry. Rather than leaving, I cry.

And I am no longer ashamed to admit it. I have feelings.

I love him.

It's not a blind love. I have my faults, he has his. Like I already stated, we do argue. We do get crabby. But, I still love him. I still want to be with him. I still want to marry him. And, it's incredibly difficult to stay mad at him for any length of time.

Moral of the story: You may not have confidence in us but I do. And that's all that matters. So, talk away, you're the one who looks bad by doing so. But, it would probably be a better idea to invest that time and energy in your own relationships rather than talking shit about mine, you might be happier that way.

♥ Sara

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. . . You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore." -Neil Gaiman

Goodbye 2010. Hello 2011.

Well hello there! I'm back, for now. . . ;)

Since Christmas we have been pretty busy.

Some of the highlights:

We've had dinner with my family a couple times, once my parents came here and we went to my brother and sister in law's for dinner once. I love having dinner with the family. And I really love spending time with my niece and nephew. I don't see them nearly enough anymore. When I still lived with my mom and dad full time I saw them almost daily, now I see them maybe twice a month. And living 45 minutes away doesn't help that. . . Oh well, part of growing up I guess. . . .

Shawnia and the kids came up to go to the water park. The hotel I work at has a water park connected to it, so we spent a few hours there and then had dinner with them.

Katie and Justin came up here on vacation for New Years so one night John, Ricky and I went to Petoskey to have dinner with them. It was. . . different. I wish I could say our relationship was completely repaired and back to normal. But, regrettably, I can't. It was somewhat awkward for me (and it takes a lot to make me awkward). I was very happy to see them though. Justin got a job in Chicago and they have moved there, so I don't know when I'll see them again. I do wish that Katie and I talked more. . . maybe with time.

John and I stayed in and didn't do anything special for New Year's Eve. Just spent the night together. Perfection in my eyes. :)

On the 4th and 5th, John and I pulled up our carpet in the living room and put down laminate wood flooring. I *love* it. It's so much easier to clean and looks so much nicer!

Old Floor. . .

New Floor!

Also on the 5th we had our first fire together. Well, by the time we got there it wasn't a fire anymore, but rather just overhauling. It was still enjoyable, and definitely a long night. (Why is it that the majority of fire calls seem to happen in the middle of the effing night?!?)

I'll be writing another post about my cousin's lovely wedding! :D

♥ Sara

"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."
-Hal Borland

Thankful.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!!

As I write this, I am at work. And so full that I feel as though I might throw up. :)

This morning I got ready for work and went out to John's parents' house with him for a little while. We played with Ricky and just hung out for a bit before I had to go to work.

I volunteered to work today because at that time I didn't know I was going to end up in relationship and definitely didn't expect it to be one where I would feel comfortable going to Thanksgiving dinner with his entire family. I should learn to stop expecting stuff. And I knew my family's Thanksgiving wouldn't work for me unless I was to have the entire day off and that certainly wasn't going to happen.

So I have to work noon until midnight today. But have no fear, John brought me an amazing Thanksgiving dinner. I ate about 1/3 of it before I had to give up and put it in the fridge for later. I've been dieting for a couple months trying to (healthily) lose the weight that I gained after I started working up here so my body doesn't know what to do with this much food.

my Thanksgiving dinner. . . I was warned dessert would be coming later. Eek! :)

While I am here, and since it is Thanksgiving, I figured I would share a few things I am thankful for this year. Not something I usually do.

I am. . .

. . . thankful for my parents. They have done so much for me and I definitely wouldn't be at this place in my life without their help.

. . . thankful for my job. Even though I hate it at times, for the most part I love it. And I'm just happy to have one.

. . . thankful for volunteer opportunites. I love the fire department and am looking into working at the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Cheboygan if I ever get the right days off.

. . . thankful for my friends. I have numerous "groups" of friends and I don't know what I would do without them. I have been through so much in the last year or so and they have been there for me through it all.

. . . thankful for my health. I'm hoping this isn't me jinxing myself but I am so happy that I have went *so* long without being truly sick. A cold is nothing. I have had no relapses with my autoimmune stuff and my biopsies have been coming back the same as "normal" for me.

. . . thankful for my furbabies. They are great, I'm happy to have them living with me again.

. . . thankful to be on my own. There's something about taking care of myself and my own stuff that makes me feel amazing. (Although now I have someone helping take care of me, but that's different. *smiles*)

. . . thankful for him. SO thankful for him. He is exactly what I want, and, I think I met him at exactly the right time.

. . . thankful for my life in general. There isn't much I would change, and none of it is major. :)

♥ Sara

"As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them."
-John Fitzgerald Kennedy

The Penthouse.

Welp, yesterday I officially moved into my new apartment. I worked until 1, then unloaded my car. While I waited for dad to get here with his truck, I went with John to pick up a couch for the apartment. By the time I got back Nick and Dad had the truck unpacked with the exception of the big stuff. Dad and I took the mattress up then "supervised" the guys carrying up the rest. I have to say, it was some good entertainment. The door had to be taken off to get my box spring in the apartment, and the couch never did fit, no matter how they turned it or how hard they pushed. And it wasn't even *my* couch. [Those of you who helped me move before remember the disaster that my old couch was to move! In this blog post there is a pic to help you understand the mess that moving that couch was. My friends loved it. We even had to take thedoor off for that one too!]

*Thank you to Dad, John and Nick for helping!*

My new apartment is on the third floor (again) of an old house (aka, the attic) in Mackinaw City. Dad calls it the penthouse because I have the entire top floor, not hardly. I know, I'm *so* good at picking apartments to live in. (My old apartment was also on the third floor and a huge pain in the ass to move into, yet easy in comparison to this one.) But it's perfect for what I needed, I wouldn't mind a much larger kitchen, but sacrifices had to be made. And the shower is, well, an experience. (And if you ever come visit you will get to see exactly what I mean.) I'll post pictures on this blog as soon as I get them taken.

I am excited to be on my own. Excited to have the independence. Excited to not have to get up for work at five (blargh) anymore. Excited that once it starts snowing I won't have to turn a 45 minute drive into an over-two-hour drive because I won't be able to see a thing in a few spots. Excited that my parents and the rest of my family still only lives a short distance away and that I don't have to drive five hours to see them. Excited that when my family has get-togethers I can now request the afternoon off and go! Excited that my friends can come visit and have a place to stay (as long as they don't all come at once, lol).


Yes, some of these things make me nervous. But I'm definitely more excited than nervous! Be patient for the pictures, I want to get everything unpacked and my apartment cleaned before I take them. :)

one of the first pictures I took of the Bridge. . . IN NOVEMBER!

Song of the Day:
Speak Now by Taylor Swift
[I have been obsessed with this song lately. And I don't see there ever being a case where I want to use it because I relate to it (goodness, I hope not!!) so I figured I would post it here.]
♥ Sara

“Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think."
-A. A. Milne

New.

So, you are just going to have to bear with me through this summer. My blogging will not be very regular and I might not have a whole lot to say. Some things have happened since the last time I blogged though. . . .

1. I switched hotels, again. I now work at the Aqua Grand. (If you are coming to Mackinaw City and need a room, I know where you can get one!! :) ) And I'm staying at this one until it closes. There was a weekend about three weeks ago when I was supposed to be going to Kalamazoo for Krissi's birthday party. I had been planning on it since I started working, everyone was aware that I wouldn't be around. . . that is until one of the managers of the hotel I am working at now disappeared and the other was on vacation. So, I ended up giving up my trip to Kalamazoo and working there for the weekend. I decided to stay there after the weekend was over (of course after ok-ing it with other people). Since that weekend, I have been working a minimum of 70 hours a week. I get two more days off this summer. One is for my family reunion, which it is essential that I am at since I'm in charge of the damn thing. When I signed up for it I had no idea I would have a job where I'm working 7 days a week, a minimum of 8 hours a day. And the other is just before the the other desk clerk leaves for the season and I start working all day every day (as opposed to all day half of the week and half days the other half).

2. I'm living in Mackinaw. With how many hours I have been working I need to stay here to remain half way sane and successfully get a good night's rest. I live in an apartment behind the lobby of the hotel I work at. When the other manager quit, he left an open room behind, so I moved into it. I live with three guys (one of them being my manager, the other two manage other businesses as well). It's interesting, that's for sure. And since I am the only one who cooks and cleans (because I make time for it) I have acquired the nickname "mom." I like it up here and I'm pretty much married to my job for now. It won't be like this forever, and maybe that's the main reason I don't mind it so much. Only a couple more months and the hotels will be closing up and my hours will be cut way back. Right now I attempt to make it home at least one night a week and my parents do come visit me once in a while.

3. I GOT A CAR!! I bought a 2009 Ford Focus. I will be adding pictures eventually, I'll be sure to take some. :) I am so excited. I was able to get it financed on my own and had plenty to use as a down payment. I don't know if you understand how much that means to me. I went from not having a job to not only have a job, but being able to finance a car on my own and owning my own car with no help from mom and dad. I love being independent and this is just one more way I could do so.

4. I got a new camera. My other new camera had an accident at the all night diner. (She was dropped when drunk people were looking at pictures.) Luckily, I had the amazing warranty plan and they accepted it as a return right away.

5. I had yet another biopsy done. As you may know, I have Barrett's Esophagus, which is a pre-cancer of the esophagus. I have had it for three and a half years that I know of and I have to get a biopsy done every three years. This one came back the same as always. I still have Barrett's but it hasn't progressed any further so my doctor told me to not worry about it and we will do another biopsy in three years. At least this one was "normal" for me, unlike the last two, and Istill need to get my other mole removed. *makes note to self* (Maybe in October!!!)

I think that's about it. My life right now consists mainly of work and of very little else. The rumors about me haven't stopped. I don't know that they will. And I don't really understand why there is such a draw to me. But, whatever. The people I care most about know the truth, and that's all that matters.

To my friends, I'm sorry I have fallen off the face of the earth. I will see you all in the fall! :) ♥

Song of the Day:

Sideways by Dierks Bentley

[I love this song. It's one of the ones that comes on the radio and I crank it up. Unfortunately there is no "worked all week" it's more like "worked all summer." :) ]

♥ Sara

"Perseverance is the hard work you do after you get tired of doing the hard work you already did." -Newt Gingrich

Rumors. . .

Hi, my name is Sara and I love it when rumors are spread about me!

*NOT!*

Actually, most of the time I simply don't mind I let it roll off my back and continue on with my life, but when rumors about me screw up relationships (whether they are friendships or something more than friendships) then I am furious. Recently there have been two types of rumors spread about me and these rumors have affected friendships.

The first is the type of rumor that has some truth to it, but in which assumptions are made and accusations are laid out that change something innocent into something not so innocent. The second type is one that is 100% false and has no reality to it. Now, the first one isn't a huge deal if questions are asked and explanations are allowed. The second, on the other hand, is. I don't know, there is just something about making a story up that is entirely false that makes you a complete scumbag. Period. End of story. Yes, you, Sir Rumor Spreader, are a scumbag.

Now, what is even worse than that is when said rumors can also affect someone else's life and relationships. In this case, if the rumors were to go beyond the handful of people that currently know, that could happen. I hope for the sake of the rumor starters and for the sake of the other people being talked about that it doesn't happen. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees.

-------------------------------

This was written on the date shown for posting. Now, two days later, I have had more time to think and have come to a few realizations.

1. The rumor starter/spreader is in fact a scumbag. I am counting on karma to get him on this one. . . . for now. That is until I come up with a better solution. And if you know me, you know I will. No, no talking to other people will be done. I will deal with this head on . . . isn't that how I always handle my problems?

2. If you don't trust me enough to believe my side of the story, well I don't need you in my life anyhow, especially if there is no concrete evidence to the story you were told. I try damn hard not to lie and not to do things that would put me in a sticky situation. So if someone were to ask me straight up if I did something I would tell them. They might not like the answer, but I would give it to them anyhow.

3. I don't miss the person that I had written this about initially, but I am still pissed that these rumors are still being discussed, and I know they are. I guess one way to look at it is: if they are talking about me they are leaving someone who can't handle it alone.

Well, I think that is all I have to say about this for now, and I know I have other blogs waiting to be finished and posted so I will be doing that soon!

Song of the Day:

Rumors by Lindsay Lohan

[I had no clue she sang this song. . . but I thought it was fitting for the blog. That's all I really have to say about it. :) ]

♥ Sara

"When it comes down to it, I let them think what they want. If they care enough to bother with what I do, I'm already better than them." -Marilyn Monroe

Catching Up.

This was actually recorded April 22. Why it wasn't posted until now. . . I have no clue! I uploaded it to my blog then! Anyhow. . .enjoy.

♥ Sara

"You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice."

-Steven D. Woodhull

Breathe.

Day 26 - [04.17.10]

I know I took a picture of my "Shit Happens" necklace in the last 365 project. I felt that it was significant enough to use for another shot. I love this necklace, or at least these charms. The charm spins and reads "SHIT HAPPENS" while spinning. But while stationary it looks like that. I found the charm in a bead shop in Kalamazoo and I bought every single one that they had in stock. I have made a bunch of them for gifts and a few for myself as well.

Also "shit happens" has become one of my many sayings. And this weekend was a perfect time to use it like 100 times in conversation. Plus, spinning the necklace is my favorite thing to do when I'm bored, or frustrated, or tired, or thinking. . . so it came in handy. :)

Song of the Day:

Breathe by Taylor Swift featuring Colbie Calliat

[I left Kalamazoo at least a day early (I may have left Monday had my work schedule allowed it and had I wanted to stay that long.). And in doing so, I heard this song on the way home and wrote it down in my little notebook so I wouldn't forget to use it for my song of the day. No, I didn't just go through a break-up but it felt even worse than one driving home. I couldn't help but feel like I lost two of my closest friends this weekend, like my relationships with them would never be the same. I really hope I'm wrong, but I'm not sure that I am. I couldn't wait to get back to my life here and attempt to forget about my weekend. I was not prepared for it in any sense of the word. I thought I would be able to handle seeing Justin and Katie together, and I could (barely) when they weren't all over each other. Unfortunately, that wasn't all of the time.

I guess this will be where I vent about my weekend. . . .

The first night, it was awkward and I actually ended up staying at another friend's house. The second day was awkward and thankfully I talked to Nick for a bit before he went to work, which really helped. But the night was just plain awful. I couldn't handle it. It hurt. Seeing them together just felt like betrayal all over again and made me nauseous. Luckily, I had a couple friends in Kalamazoo to talk to to make me feel better and allow me to vent out some frustration and pain, then when Nick got out of work I got to talk to him for a while and he listened to me vent, sympathized, gave me advice, made me happy and took my mind off the situation. After I was done talking to him, I was able to make it through the rest of the night.

I'm not sure why it affected me as much as it did. Maybe because for the past three months they have refused to talk to me about each other, even though they do talk to me, so I have had no opportunity to get used to or prepare for it. Maybe because they act just like they did when Justin and I were together, but adding in kissing and a little more touching. Maybe because we all saw this coming and for months they told me that nothing would ever happen between them, which was the only reason I didn't flip out more a long time ago about how they acted toward one another when we were together. So now it's like throwing salt in a wound. Maybe because general PDA, and ignoring other people while being all over each other in their presence, annoys me. I would say maybe because I'm jealous, which I'm sure that is what some of you are thinking, but that's not it at all.

I'm really not jealous of whatever they have going on. I have my life. I am happy with my life. I am happy with what is going on in it, and that's why I left an awkward and hurtful situation to come back to said life and be happy. And in all honesty, within a half hour of being home, I was perfectly content. To me, that says something. That says, for the time being, I know where I need to be. That says, for the time being, I know what I need to be doing. That says, for the time being, I know what makes me happy. That says, for the time being, I know who makes me happy. And that says that for me, I made the right choice in leaving early and coming back home. No regrets. Ever.]

♥ Sara

"Sadness flies on the wings of the morning and out of the heart of darkness comes the light." -Jean Giraudoux

Happy Fries.

Day 25 - [04.16.10]

Krissi was drawing pictures on my fries with ketchup for me when we were at the Roadhouse for Katie's birthday party. The real significance of this picture is that I don't know how I would have gotten through the night without her. I'm sure I could have, but it wouldn't have been as easy. I really, really appreciate her, probably more than she realizes. Last night was rather rough on me and I do believe I will be posting about this more later, but for now I will leave it at that and say that it was Krissi, Caitlin and Nick that got me through it. I am incredibly thankful for good friends, and know that they don't come around often, so that makes me even more appreciative.

Song of the Day:

Telephone by Lady Gaga featuring Beyonce

[I guess it's a Lady Gaga weekend! I am not a Lady Gaga fan and I can barely stand this song. It happened to play on the radio every time I was in the car yesterday, I swear. First with Sarah, Katie and Justin, then with the carload that went shopping prior to the party. And both times, over half of the people in the car hadn't heard it! So, I figured it was worthy of a song of the day slot. Plus it was the only way in hell this song would make the cut!]

♥ Sara

"A good friend is a connection to life - a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world." -Lois Wyse

Kalamazoo.

Day 24 - [04.15.10]

Finally reunited with my best friend and back in Kalamazoo! I was so excited (yet nervous) to go back to the 'Zoo. When I got there I listened to Ed Rivet speak, then went out to Bilbo's with the Students for Life group. When I was in college I was the President of the group and love the people in it. It's how I met Katie and Sarah (remember, they made me the awesome cake last year when I was graduating). This picture was taken while at Bilbo's waiting for our pizza. Katie and I tend to take awesome pictures together, usually involving a ridiculous face for at least one of us. And since I am no longer doing the self portrait a day I figured I can use a picture I am in with someone else as my picture of the day. :)

Song of the Day:

Pokerface by Lady Gaga

[While I was on my way down to Kalamazoo I heard this song on the radio. It was one of the million songs that Katie and I had an obsession with over the summer. So I found it appropriate to use for the song of the day, especially when I considered the fact that I hadn't heard the song in FOREVER. I seriously don't remember the last time I heard it, then I just happened to hear it in the hour or so that I wasn't on the phone on my way down. Craziness.]

♥ Sara

"Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day." -Quoted in P.S. I Love You, compiled by H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Caffeine.

Day 10 - [04.01.10]

So if you know me, you know that I drink a lot of caffeinated beverages. I didn't realize how much until yesterday when I got out of work and had the WORST headache in the world. Ok, maybe not worst in the world, but worst that I have had, and I have had said headache more than once. It had been a while though and I was trying to figure out what the heck it was from. Well I called mom to tell her how my first day went and told her about my headache and she told me to go get some food and a pop. And that's when I remembered. . . . I have a severe dependence on caffeine, and I didn't have any coffee or pop that day. Aw, hell. It was BAD.

I got some dinner and drank my pop and was all better. But this led me to make the resolution that I will NOT go to work without a minimum cup of coffee in me and a caffeinated drink with me. There's no way I could deal with front desk work with the headache I had last night.

This leads me to the picture. . . Sugar Free Red Bull is becoming one of my drinks of choice. Ok, it has been one of my drinks of choice for a while now. And I have a mini-stock going on of them. So, this is my way to keep from getting my headache and to remain happy at work, or school, or wherever I may be. I'm definitely a fan.

Song of the Day:

Dirty Little Secret by All American Rejects

[This song was the theme song of the Bold and the Bitchy, aka the Soap Opera name I came up with for the 409 this summer, back when they had drama. It is now the song that I associate with my best friends, and is the ring tone on my phone for anyone from the 409. I'll admit, I get rather excited when I hear my phone playing that song!]

♥ Sara

"I don't have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine!" -Author Unknown

It FINALLY Happened!!

Thanks for watching! :)

♥ Sara

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." -John Quincy Adams

Don't Trust Me.

Day 7 - [03.29.10]

Well, there's obvious significance to the items in this picture! I would be lost without them. I know I took a similar picture during my last 365 project . . . BUT . . . it's a different computer. My parents got me this computer for Christmas this year. My old one was having lots of problems and was completely out of memory, but it had held up through the first four and a half years after I graduated from high school, so I can't complain. I just hope this one lasts me as long.

As far as the phone goes, I've had this phone for over a year now. I got it in February (I believe) of last year when my old phone decided that the speaker shouldn't work any more. But I seem to have good luck with phones, they last me roughly three years on average. :)

Anyhow, I didn't have anything significant happen in my day to take pictures of, so I decided to go for something that was just significant to my life. :)

Song of the Day:

Don't Trust Me by 3OH!3

[Also known as "The Helen Keller Song." This song was one of the many songs of the summer. Whenever I hear it I think of Kalamazoo and the 409. And whenever I am seriously missing Kalamazoo and the 409 I listen to it. In class yesterday I was thinking about how I needed to call Katie when I got out to tell her some stuff and to catch up on her life. Well, when I got in the car this song was just coming on. So I called her, then cranked the radio so she could hear it. I think it is the single most overplayed song of our friendship, not that it's a bad thing. :) ]

♥ Sara

"Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves." -Albert Einstein

The End.

Yesterday, Day 365, I got up and headed home early. I was here by like 9. I worked on some homework then got my shower and got ready for the day. I wanted my 365 picture to be something awesome so I spent some time thinking and then went outside and took it, well, them. After I got done taking pictures I got ready and went to class. After class I worked on some homework again, read some blogs and called it a night kinda early.

I kept that short because I’m going to do a reflection:

Well, rather than just going back 365 days, I’m going to reflect back to the beginning of this blog. I remember how hated I was at that point by a lot of people and I remember saying then that Jeff would find someone who would make him happy. And from what I gather he has, after all he will be married in a few months. Congrats to him. : )

I think it is interesting how the blog came about, how I needed a way to tell the world what I did and why I did it, ironically I feel like I did that a lot in the past year. I have almost quit so many times. Right after the first blog was probably the worst, or maybe the beginning of January when Justin and I split and then I found out about him and Katie. But I am so grateful that I kept it going. I have read through it all and, man, do I have a lot to say. I’ll try to keep it short, but ya’ll know how that goes. I originally was going to link to all the posts that I am talking about, but I decided against that because, well, it would be A LOT of links and I doubt ANYONE would go back and read them all.

Over the past year I have made so many changes in my life and learned so many things. I chopped my hair off in various ways, I got bangs, I finally went back to my natural color, and in June I started growing it out. It is getting so long! I planned to move to my parents’ house, then to stay in Kalamazoo, then got stuck moving up here, and now I love it. I’ve learned how to live without a plan, and to enjoy it. I learned that being alone isn’t always a bad thing and can be pretty nice sometimes. I learned how to not overanalyze everything in my life, and everything that comes into contact with my life. I have learned to forgive, and honestly that was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. Had I not stopped being a hard-ass and started forgiving people who hurt me I would have lost some amazing people in my life. I’ve discovered how to have patience. This was beyond necessary! J And, probably most importantly, I discovered my emotions and learned how to deal with them. I actually cry, and admit it. I hurt and admit it rather than getting angry and being a hard ass. I’m sure there are others but those were the most prominent.

I have definitely gone through a lot of heartache and confusion, but it has made me a stronger, and I would like to think better, person. There is a post (titled rejection, June post) that I could have posted at least three times in the last year. But I have learned to deal better and I know eventually I will look back on all of it and it will be trivial.

What else about this year? I have had some amazing times in the past year, and some rather upsetting ones as well. I’m pretty sure I single-handedly kept Cohen & Greenfield’s, aka Ben and Jerry’s in business. I spent a lot of time talking about food, man do I miss the Kalamazoo restaurants and bars. I have completed a lot of bucket list items (yay!). I spent a lot of great time with my friends. Katie and I threw some amazing parties this summer. Summer 2009 was by far the best summer ever. 409: I miss you. Fire school is even better than I expected and I’m looking forward to test day! Life up here is not what I expected, but I am enjoying it. I could still use a damn job though!

I can't believe I made it through this entire challenge without missing a day. Yes, some of my pictures were late. Yes, my blog was neglected from time to time. But I did it!! I DID IT!!!! I can't even express how exciting this is for me, yet how quick it went. I mean I remember getting excited on day 50 for making it that far. . . now that seems AGES ago in some instances, but like it was just yesterday in others. Wow. . . just wow.

During the past year I have made some amazing friends and strengthened already great bonds. Krissi, Katie and Justin, I miss you all and I don’t know what I would do without you! WB girls: You’re amazing. Thank you for all you do! J And any other loyal readers, it’s been one hell of a year and I’m impressed you’re still here. Ready for another?

Final Pictures:

Day 365 (03.22.10):

the end.

Day 365:

oh my goodness! I'm done!

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:
In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die!

"Consider the postage stamp: its usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there." -Josh Billings

Out.

Saturday I got up and frosted Ben's cake then did some stuff online. After a while I took a shower and got ready for lunch with Ben. We had made plans to go out to get Chinese for lunch. I met him there. I absolutely love hanging out with him, I always have. Lunch was great, the company was fantastic. I don't remember the last time I laughed so hard for an hour straight. :) After lunch, I gave him his cake and we headed our separate ways.

Ironically, it turned out that Friday was one year to the day from the day Ben broke up with me and I started this challenge to do something for me. And I'm happy it happened now, well not that we split, but that I had this. That I did something for myself. I have learned so much. . . .but I'll save my reflection for today's blog. . . seeing as I am writing this on Day 365!

Anyhow, I went to the pharmacy and Walmart and picked stuff up that mom needed. I ran into Zach and his girlfriend at Walmart, nothing too exciting, just picked on him for a bit. lol. When I got home, Dad and I went down to the fire station. I ran the air station and studied and he worked on fire reports. When we got home, I finished my college and fire homework and spent some more time studying for my fire class. I know, I spend a lot of time studying for it, but it will all be worth it on May 1st when I pass.

Pictures:

Day 363 (03.20.10):

the "magic towel" my aunt got me for Christmas.

Day 363:
spending lots more time in my cave again. :)

Yesterday I got up bright and early, made cinnamon rolls and got ready to go. I met the boys (Zach and three others from class) at Inverness' fire station at 930 to study. We had a little fiasco with the coffee maker, but once we got that working and figured out how to connect the TV to my computer and make it work, we were on a roll. We studied together until a little after noon.

When I got home I finished my homework for the weekend. My sister in law had been texting me throughout the morning and asked me to come over. So I did. We spent the day hanging out (there was a rather large group of people there) and relaxing. And I enjoyed watching boys be boys and do stupid things, like jumping the shit pond with a snowmobile (no we don't have snow), fourwheeler and peddle bike. We had a bonfire and roasted marshmallows and sat around it for quite a while before going inside.

Of course, when we went inside, we played beer pong. Well somehow it turns into full contact beer pong. Bah! I have so many bruises today! But I was doing really well. Nick and I played eight games together, lost one and Toad and I played three games and didn't lose any! (I usually suck, remember Katie won like 12 games against Jake and I one night this summer!) I ended up crashing there for the night.

Photos:

Day 364 (03.21.10):

nick roasting his marshmallow.

Day 364:

on my way.

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

After eating, a housefly regurgitates its food and then eats it again.

"Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did." -Mark Twain

Crazy, Tragic, Sometimes Almost Magic, Awful, Beautiful Life.

I love this life. . . (and that song. :) )

So, you know how I used to always refer to my life as double-i? Well now, double-i is an understatement. Hence, why I have not posted in a week again. I know, I'm horrible! Just think though, a week from now and this will all be over! My first 365 project will be completed, and I think *think* I will be continuing it and I *think* I know what I'm doing for it! Also, an FYI for those of you who have been reading since day one, you will notice I am obviously leaving aspects of my life out. I won't be answering questions about them on here, sorry, for once I have secrets from ya'll. :)

For those of you who do know what is going on, don't worry. I know what I'm doing. I am a big girl and I think it's worth it. I am willing to wait to have what I want. I'm confident in saying that. I am sure everything will work out the way I'm planning and hoping. And if it doesn't, well you can line up to say I told you so. (Since there are only like 2 of you who know what I'm talking about, for the rest of you, consider this my apology.)
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Anyhow, Wednesday (the 10th) I got up in the morning and Dad and I decided to go down to the fire station, run the air station and rinse out the buckets for sap collection. Well we got to the station only to discover neither of us had thrown the buckets in the truck. Yep, we rock.

So, we headed back home, but took the long route. Dad showed me some side roads in our area that have big houses hidden on them and told me stories about various fires he's had there over the years. Then we went down to the boy scout camp and walked around and took a walk out on the ice before heading back to the house to get the buckets.

We spent a couple hours at the station. I ran the air station and read a fire magazine and helped Dad in between. We got the buckets all cleaned out (and both got soaked in the process). Then we headed back home. We were both cold and wet so we decided not to finish tapping then and came inside.

I worked on my homework for a while, then watched tv and went to bed.

Pictures:

Day 353:

dad and the lake

Day 353:

my first and last time on the ice (that wasn't for fire training).

Thursday (the 11th) I spent the day working on homework before getting ready for class. On my way to class I stopped at Jason's house and picked up his homework because he wasn't going to be able to make it to class. Once again class was class. Nothing too exciting.

After class I stopped at Jason's again to drop off his graded homework and his copied homework for the next class. I had intended on hanging out there for a bit before either going out or going home, I hadn't decided for sure what the night had in store yet. Well I ended up just hanging out there for the night. The guys had decided to have a bonfire so I stuck around for that.

Photos:

Day 354:

my new "shit happens" necklace.

Day 354:

on my way to class.

Friday (the 12th) I spent a lot of the trying to catch up on the sleep I was lacking. I had caught a cold and didn't want to keep it. I also worked on my fire homework as I had class on Saturday so I needed to get a chapter done on Friday.

Mom had to go to the Chiropractor at 5, so I took her to town for that, then we went to Cheboygan so she could get her hair cut. While we were in Cheboygan, we got Chinese. You know how much I love Chinese! Aw hell, you know how much I love food. :)

When we were done eating, I called Jason to see if he wanted me to come over and help him with his homework/study with him. And he said sure, so I headed over there. When we were done with our homework, the guys decided to play beer pong and asked me to join. Of course, I said yes, but only for a game or two. Well a game or two turned into a lot of games. I ended up staying up until, well, until Jason and I had to leave for class at 730. Oh man. . . .

Pictures of the Day:

Day 355:

necessary. not really sure who decorated my box for me though.

Day 355:

no, that room is NOT in my house.

Saturday, I checked the time and realized it was 730 so I woke Jason's ass up for class. We got ready and headed in. Luckily, class was short and sweet, I couldn't have handled a long class that morning. No sleep doesn't work for me. When we got back to the house I hung out with one of the guys for a bit before he left, then I left shortly there after. I got home and took a two hour nap before I had to get ready for the Onaway Fireman's Ball.

*sigh* Exhaustion.

Dad and I went together, even though we both had gotten tickets for dates. Mom wasn't feeling up to it, and well my boyfriend (at the time that I bought the tickets) broke up with me. I know I could have found another date, but I didn't feel like taking anyone. The party was great though. We ate, we drank, we danced, we had Jello shot competitions. Oh and did I mention that none of the people I was with were under 40?

After the Ball ended at midnight, we went out to Taylor's house (Zach, my training partner's house). Dad and I had been hanging out with his parents all night. When we got there I rolled his ass out of bed. (He skipped out on the party, loser.) We hung out there for a while, talked about fire stuff and had a couple beers before heading home.

I had a long ass phone conversation on my way home/after I got here so I didn't get to bed until 6 am. Ugh.

Pictures:

Day 356:

my best recorded time and the empty cup.

Day 356:

just got home, so tired.

Sunday I woke up at 9, got up for a bit, talked to mom, drank some water and went back to bed at like 11. I was so freaking tired! Dad woke me up at quarter after two for training. Yes, we had a fire meeting that involved training. Seriously, who plans these things? :P

I seriously considered not going because I was so freaking tired. BUT, I sucked it up, threw some pants on, changed my shirt, put my hair in a ponytail, brushed my teeth and headed to the station. Oh and grabbed a granola bar for breakfast. Thank goodness. I was starving when I got home, I couldn't have imagined what it would have been like without the granola bar.

When we got to the station we sat and talked and waited for everyone to show up. Turned out to be just Dad, Jason, Dave (my uncle), Zach and I, which actually worked out for the best. Dad had said he was going to have Zach drive 01 (the pumper) so I went to climb in (I wanted to be privy to watching this learning experience). Dad told me no and to get in 31 (the foam truck) which Jason was driving. I was kinda upset that we were going to cram three of us in the regular cab stick shift truck while two rode in the big firetruck, but whatever. So I crawled in the middle. Well Dad said something to Jason about me learning to drive a stick and told him I wasn't going to learn sitting there. So J got out and I crawled into the driver's seat. Ah!

The drive down to the dry hydrant wasn't as bad as I expected. I was kinda nervous, but I think I did ok. I know I need more practice, but that will happen again soon. :) When we got down to the dry hydrant we set up a draft to the pumper, then set up the foam line and charged it. Zach hadn't played with the foam yet, but I did at the Alverno fire. So we messed around with that for a while. And Jason spent some time instructing us. I have to admit, he is one hell of a teacher. He is calm and patient and instructs in a way we both understand. I love that firefighting stuff has brought us closer together. :)

I drove the truck back to the station in full turnout gear. Bad idea. I couldn't feel where the pedals were or how hard I was pressing on them. So, the ride back was a bit more bumpy than the ride to the hydrant. Oh well. When we got back we put our stuff away and headed home.

I had a paper due at midnight. So, I worked on it. Actually I stared at the computer until like 930, then wrote my paper. Well I had all intentions of going to sleep right after the paper was done, but I ended up staying up talking online until like 345. Yep, I'm sooooo smart sometimes! :P

Pictures:

Day 357:

this is what my knee looked like after full contact beer pong.

Day 357:

the shirt said it all: this sucks!

Monday I slept in to make up for some of the lack of sleep I had been getting. And by slept in I mean I didn't get up until like 230. Yep. It was fabulous. Then I did some homework, got ready for class and headed to Jason's to pick him up for class. My homework wasn't completely done so I intended on doing it on the way. . . .well that was until I got there and realized that he didn't have his done either. Ah! So we rushed through our homework together then headed to class.

Class was not all that exciting again. Same as always. When I got back to Jason's I ended up going in and hanging out with him and Shawnia and talking. The next thing I knew we were having a bonfire. Everyone slowly ended up in bed and I headed home.

Photos:

Day 358:

my purse. yes, shoes, book, hat, vitamin water, skittles, rope, you name it.

Day 358:

happily tired.

Yesterday I slept until three or so. Yep, I know I'm lazy, er super tired. When I got up, I ate, put together the list of donors for our party, got a shower and had to get ready to go to the Fire Fighter's Association Meeting. It was actually much better than I expected, usually the damn men act like teenage girls. They seem to be getting shit figured out, finally. And our party did well. Next year will be even better. :) After the meeting one of the Wolverine guys showed me around their station and told me all about their trucks. It was pretty cool. I love it when the guys treat me like one of them rather than that girl in their meetings. Dad, Dan and I headed back home. It did end up being another late night, but whatever, I'm getting used to it.

Photos:

Day 359:

Eliza yelling at me for coming in late. . . or yawning because I woke her up! :)

Day 359:

just got home, ready to go to bed.

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

Tablecloths were originally meant to be served as towels with which dinner guests could wipe their hands and faces after eating!

"If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing well. If it is worth having, it is worth waiting for. If it is worth attaining, it is worth fighting for. If it is worth experiencing, it is worth putting aside time for." -Susan Jeffers

Going Out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, delayed posting, crazy life, no sleep, what can I say?

Tuesday I spent my entire day working on homework, and got all of the regular assignments done plus finished my fire homework for Thursday. I know, amazingly shocking, right? I was rather proud of myself for finishing all of it. And I did it because I knew that my week was going to be busy and I didn't want to have to worry about it.

Pictures:

Day 345:

my nails, oh and my grandma hands.

Day 345:

yay for another day with no makeup. lol.

Wednesday I got up at a halfway-decent time because I knew my favorite girl would be coming to visit me for lunch. So I got ready and took my picture of the day and then watched TV and worked on homework until she called to say she was on her way. We met at Burger King and decided to go to the Trout for lunch. I'm pretty sure we spent at least twice the amount of time talking as we did eating. I hadn't seen her since just after Christmas and missed her so much!!!

After we were done eating we decided to go to McDonald's and get some coffee. We used to go to coffee shops all the time in Kalamazoo, but coffee shops are kinda lacking up here (as in they are non-existent). So we drank coffee, ate brownie melts, talked, took a bunch of pictures, talked some more and then realized that it was almost five. She had to drive back to Kalamazoo so we reluctantly said goodbye and she headed home.

It was so great having time to catch up with her! And we have plans to get together Easter weekend, not too far away! :) I'm so happy that I made the decision to put all that stuff behind me and not let any of it ruin our friendship. I can honestly say I am happy for her and that I am even happier that we made it though all that stuff.

After saying goodbye I headed back to my house. On my way, I stopped at the fire station. I needed to do the weekly air station run and I still needed to clean up my mess from when I made Jello shots. Oh man, it was a mess, and I waited to clean it up so there was hardened Jello stains on the counter. Ugh. At least I left it cleaner than it was when I started making stuff.

When I got home I watched some TV, finished my fire homework and went to bed.

Photos:

Day 346:

our coffees and brownies.

Day 346:

different lip ring, so I could try the new lip gloss. :)

Thursday I got up and got ready. I had told Jason (my brother, that's who you can assume Jason is unless I specify otherwise) that I would go over to his house and help him with his homework and help him study for our HazMat exam. I got over there around two. He worked on his homework while I studied, then we studied some more for the exam before heading to class.

We had our lecture, then we had our HazMat exam. Thank goodness it was open book! That stupid thing sucked. I mean, I think I would have passed even without the open book. But knowing that I had the right answers made me feel much better, especially since we probably won't have the results for, well, FOREVER! When I was done taking my exam I hung out with the guys and talked while I waited for Jason to finish his. Then we went to his house and I talked to him and my sister-in-law for a while before heading to the Trout. I had decided it was time for me to go out and have some fun again. And I did. :)

Here are the pictures:

Day 347:

all the homework from the first half of the class, minus the first three chapters.

Day 347:

yep.

Friday I got up to realize I lost my wallet somewhere the night before. Ugh. So the hunt for it began. I went back to the Trout, I called people that worked at the Trout, I talked to some people I had seen the night before, all without luck. So frustrating! I gave up, went home and wrote the paper that was due at five. While I was working on my paper one of my friends texted me to let me know that they had gotten a hold of my wallet. I guess I had left it at the bar and another friend had picked it up for me. Then I took a nap before heading back out.

I picked up my wallet, then I had to run a couple errands. When I was done, I texted one of my friends to find out how long it would be before they got to the Breakers. He said soon, so I went there and just planned on waiting. Thankfully, when I got there one of the guys from class and his wife were there so I hung out with them while I waited. They left just before the group I was waiting for got there (two hours after they said soon, lol.). We were celebrating a couple birthdays and had a blast doing so.

Pictures:

Day 348:

sam and my latest knitting project.

Day 348:

you can't tell just how late it was in this picture, surprisingly.

Saturday I headed home in the late morning, on my way I stopped at Jason and Shawnia's house and picked up the kids. I told Jason and Shawnia a while ago that I would go out with them Saturday night, so my parents were going to babysit the kids for the night. When I got home, I went to bed. I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open and I knew that if I didn't get some sleep it was going to be a bad night.

Luckily, I slept for about five hours! When I got up I had reset my alarm while half asleep, therefore cutting down on my get-ready time. So I hurried up and got ready to go. I was not late getting to Jason and Shawnia's house (for once!). We all rode in the van (they had other friends with them as well) and headed up to Breaker's. The Darwin Project was playing there (the band that Jason manages). So, since we were with the band, we got there around 8 and left after 2. After the bar closed we headed out to an after-party, which was also a lot of fun. We didn't get back to their place until like 530 but we, or at least I, had a lot of fun.

Pictures:

Day 349:

the missing wallet.

Day 349:

nap time.

Sunday I got up and was hanging out at Jason and Shawnia's when it was demanded I make breakfast. Well, demanding that I do something doesn't get you very far, and when that was discovered I was nicely asked to make breakfast. I started to make french toast and bacon, thankfully Megan took over the french toast for me. Something about being up past five in the morning three nights in a row just doesn't lead to a good attention span or thought process. (I was up by eleven every day!)

After I made breakfast (it took a while, there were a lot of people there!), we ate and I watched Accepted with them before heading home. I had a five page paper due at midnight. When I got here I was so tired I couldn't even read. So I decided to take a nap before even attempting my paper. My nap was unfortunately really short, and when I got up I was still really out of it. I didn't ACTUALLY start my paper until like 10, yes 10 pm. I know I'm a huge procrastinator. I finished my paper around 1130. Then I worked on some fire homework and went to bed.

Photos:

Day 350:

my lotion.

Day 350:

when i got out of the shower i put pajamas on and called it a day.

Monday I slept in as late as possible, which wasn't late enough. I woke up feeling like crap (bad cough and sore throat mainly). So I spent the day hanging out on the couch and working on my fire homework and studying. I have started working on studying for the big exam because it is roughly six weeks away and I want to make sure that I have NO problems with it. (And no, I don't USUALLY study ahead of time, I'm more of an "I'll worry about it the night (or morning) before" type of girl.)

I got a shower and headed to class around 530. Class was not all that exciting, it was enjoyable but nothing too special. Then after class I took pop bottles back and did some shopping at Walmart for stuff we needed at the house. After I got home I worked on homework for a bit before calling it a night. (I know, exciting day!)

Photos:

Day 351:

my cough drops.

Day 351:

leaving for class.

Yesterday (Tuesday) I woke up feeling even worse than I did the day before. I started my day by working on some homework. Then Dad got a call from our neighbor to go check his maple sap taps. So, we went over and I drove the tractor out and we checked out his taps. They weren't very full, so we decided to just leave them for another day or two (he's in Florida).

When we got back home I got a shower and got ready to go out to the Dentist. I got my teeth cleaned. :) I love going to the dentist, I love how my teeth feel afterwards. Then again, one of my favorite things to do when getting ready is brushing my teeth. (I know, I'm weird.)

After I was done at the dentist office, I went to Ken's and got some groceries. Then on my way home I stopped at Jason's and dropped off his homework for him. When I got home Dad and I started tapping our trees for making syrup. I'm excited for this season. It is one of the things that I am most excited for now that I'm living up here. :)

When we were done tapping for the day (we ran out of sunlight) we came in the house and I worked on homework. I had an econ exam to take and I also finished my econ homework. And I got my fire homework for Thursday done. Then I spent some time studying while watching Biggest Loser and Parenthood (I have to say I like Parenthood, a lot.) before heading to bed.

Pictures of the Day:

Day 352:

one of the trees we tapped has barbed wire in it.

Day 352:

don't you love my awesome gloves??

♥ Sara

Random Fact of the Day:

Tourists visiting Iceland should know that tipping at a restaurant is considered an insult!

"There is a bit of insanity in dancing that does everybody a great deal of good." -Edwin Denby