I think I've figured out a way. . .

to blog more often.

I downloaded an app on my phone! (I'm trying to remember how I lived without a smart phone. So ironic considering I was adamantly against getting one. . . ) Now I just click the icon and I am writing a post. Much more convenient. . . :)

Work
I am working at the Clarion this summer and it's nothing like last summer was. I am only working around 40 to 50 hours and told Dave (the manager) that I *won't* work more than 60.

I have too many other, more important, things to be doing with my time.

It's also different from the aspect of the stress level. I'm doing the same job, but Dave runs the hotel is much different than anywhere else I have worked. It's much calmer and low stress.

Class
That's right. I'm taking a class again. In the summer. I need my head examined.

I'm taking a class for my EMT Basic certification. I've talked about and thought about doing it since I got into the fire service, and I finally decided it was what I wanted to do.

So now I spend at least 8 hours a week in class, plus study time and soon I'll be doing clinicals too. *sigh*

But, it will all be over in August.

Then I'll be on call with the ambulance.

And shortly after that we'll have the

Wedding
Wedding planning is going well. I'm freaking out about it but I think I'm actually pretty on top of things.

I have my dress. The girl's dresses are ordered. The cake is paid for. The flowers are set up. We have an officiant, reception hall, ceremony site and photographer. The flower girl and ringbearer items are at the house. The DJ and caterer are set. I have the invitations being made. And my super awesome cake topper is here.

I am most worried about the decorations and favors because I am doing them (with the assistance of my awesome nieces). Other than that, I need to figure out who is doing our hair, get the bar set, order the tuxes, buy gifts, get the dress altered and write vows. Just a few things. ;-)

Spare Time
I have none!!

Other exciting news: John and I are planning on building an addition to our tiny house. VERY exciting!!

Well, that's all for now. I'll be writing soon!
♥ Sara

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Done Moving.

Oh, life, how I love you.

In addition to blogging I keep a personal journal that includes those thoughts that I am not prepared to share with the world. (I know, you're shocked there are any aren't you?) I'm going to start out by sharing a small excerpt from that. . .

"My life cracks me up.
The irony is too much to bear at times.
The timing is amazing.
The way everything falls together (or apart) causes me to believe even more
in fate."

Everything is going great with John. No, it's not all rainbows and butterflies, but then again it shouldn't be. If it was, then it's not real. Life isn't all rainbows and butterflies all the time. After much consideration and discussion between us as well as between my mom and I (you know how I feel about my parents' approval), I moved in with him.

It just made more sense than paying for an apartment that I was rarely at. I'm still not completely unpacked, but I can guarantee I won't be moving or helping anyone move for a very very long time. This makes the fourth official move since June (to Aqua, back home, to the apartment, to John's). I am so over moving!!!

So I have spent a lot of my time outside of work unpacking, cleaning and organizing. It should be all done this weekend. I have banned myself from anymore Christmas related stuff until I get everything done in order to motivate myself to do it.

My cards are mostly finished, I just need a couple more addresses and to decide whether I'm including a letter of some type or not. . . I know, I need to get that done! My shopping is almost done, I just need to pick up a couple more things in Cheboygan and (im)patiently wait for my packages to arrive.

Work is going, well, as good as work can go. I love only working forty hours, but I miss the paychecks that came with 105 hour weeks! I still have a strong desire to actually find myself a job in my field. I miss helping others. I would love to find a job working with kids, especially full families.

I don't think I mentioned this already but I'm putting grad school on hold. My heart isn't in it at all. And I can't force myself to spend that much time doing something that I'm not passionate about. (I think I was in the wrong mentality when I chose what I was going for, I wholeheartedly believe that had I chosen Marriage and Family Therapy, I would still be going to school.)

I think that catches you up on my life! :)
♥ Sara

"May the roof above us never fall in
And may we good companions beneath it
never fall out."
-Irish Blessing

Done.

Today was my last day! I am done. All my papers are handed in, all my exams have been taken, all my classes have been sat through. Wow. Just wow. It's all so surreal yet. I mean, can it really be that I am done? I have worked so long and so hard to get to this point, yet I'm really no where near as excited as I feel I should be. Maybe it has to do with my lack of sleep, or the fact that I'm not feeling the greatest, or maybe it's my old-self shining through and my fear of the unknown has returned. Whatever it is I hope it changes! I want to be excited about this!!!

My day was so long and crazy. I woke up this morning with the worst migraine I have ever had in my life. I could not function whatsoever. It was AWFUL. So I got up took some Excedrin Tension Headache, drank a glass of water, kicked all the animals out of my room and went back to bed, head under the covers and pillows over my ears (the sounds of the cars leaving just made it explode).

It eventually went away and I got ready for my last class ever. Which, since it was just presentations, wasn't all that exciting and certainly wasn't difficult. I talked to my professor after and thanked her for all she had done for me over the past year (she was one of my incompletes from the passing out business so I have spent quite a bit of time with her). Also I told her the story about the prof at MSU and my looks (see 'Dr. Adams' post for the story) and she was utterly amazed. She said that she has learned in her years of teaching to never judge a book by its cover and said that I'm a textbook example of that. She actually said that conservatives need more people like me on their side. (I laughed at that, since I seem to be a rare breed.) And she proceeded to tell me that she thought my lip ring is cute and she thought this was my natural hair color, and ended it with I shouldn't change my looks for anyone or any political job. (She's a public policy professor.) It really made me feel good.

Then I went to the library. I had a paper that was due a couple days ago that I hadn't gotten around to getting done yet. So I decided the best way to get it done would be to lock myself in the library until it was finished. Five hours later I emerged victorious. The only bad part was that I had SlimFast for breakfast and that was it. I got out at 9. AH! So Brendan and I had made plans to hang out and I convinced him to go to Applebees so I could get some food and David joined us. We killed a couple hours there and I decided I needed to come home and go to bed as my parents will be here tomorrow and my apartment is no where near clean.

I guess I will think about relaxing Saturday? Maybe not til Monday! Haha! I'm still excited for this weekend though!! =)

For the pictures:

Day 31 (04.22.09):
Sam.
we talked and decided since both of his sisters made it in here recently he probably should as well.

Day 31:
me.

♥ Sara

"The dream begins with a teacher who believes in you, who tugs and pushes and leads you to the next plateau, sometimes poking you with a sharp stick called 'truth.'"
-Dan Rather

THIRTY!

Day 30! HOLY CATS!!! I can't believe it's been a month, and I can't believe how much has happened in that month.

This is going to be a short post as I am on my way out to my last undergrad class EVER! Then to the library to finish my last undergrad paper ever! Ahh!! Excited!!

Thank you to all of my readers, I know there are more of you than I know about! I posted a counter on my site and put a blocking cookie on my computer. It registers every visit as long it wasn't from the same computer in the last hour. I hit 150 hits last night around six. I put it on SATURDAY!! Holy cow, I had no idea that many people read this. I don't think I'm all that exciting. lol. So thank you for being interested, and please, feel free to leave comments!!! =)

Now for the pictures:

Day 30 (04.21.09):
Black Bear.
only Dad would get the significance of this. (He got her for me when I was two.)

Day 30:
taken way too late at night, hence why I have the sweatshirt back on. =)

♥ Sara

“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”
-Dr. Seuss

Busy.

So, this posting the next morning thing isn't going to become a habit, I promise. I have just been really busy and so tired lately. Yesterday I worked on a paper most of the day, nothing too exciting. . .

I am REALLY REALLY REALLY looking forward to this weekend though. My last undergrad class ever is tomorrow!! :-S I'm so excited in some ways but I feel like I should be scared as well. I have attended college full time, year around (including summers) for SIX YEARS now. Makes it hard to think of life without it, but I'm so excited to see what's next for me.

Thursday my parents are coming here. So that means my rat's nest needs to be cleaned by then! UGH! I'm excited for them to come though, they have averaged about once a year since I moved here (minus the three weeks Dad lived with me) and I always enjoy it when they visit.

Friday I am having a "I'm graduating / End of the semester / Life is great" get together at my place. I'll be making desserts and various snacks and having my friends over. I think that will be a lot of fun, especially since my parents haven't met any of my friends down here and they can see where my craziness comes from. (My dad is typically out of control!)

Saturday morning I graduate!!!!! Ah! Exciting! Then we will hang out for a bit, get some food and they are heading home.

Dennis should be here either Friday night or Saturday (he hasn't told me when for sure yet) to celebrate with me (I graduate, he's still alive after his first year of law school). I'm really excited for that since we see each other not-often-enough.

And then Sunday night is Katie's 21st birthday party at my place! Looking forward to that as well! What a busy weekend though!! =)

So MONDAY, I will be sleeping, all day. Haha.

Day 29 (04.20.09):
Kallie in the bathtub.
she spends a lot of time in the tub, weird kitty.

Day 29:
I really like the use of the mirror, will probably do that again one day when I care about my looks.

♥ Sara

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.”
-Anatole France

Stay.

So I complete one task and add three. Haley posted her bucket list and I am stealing three of hers. And in doing so I realized I added another one to my list a couple weeks ago, but forgot to add it on here.
108. learn to decorate cakes.
109. learn to drive a manual.
110. send a postcard to Postsecret.
111. serve on a jury.

The crazy part about the ones added to the list was I pulled out the bucket list to hand-write them in and saw the cake one and knew that I hadn't shared it with ya'll. Ok, that's not the crazy part. The crazy part is that my friend Sara called today and asked me to make her wedding cake for her. Ah! I said yes because I would absolutely love to do it, so sometime between now and June 20th I need to figure out how to decorate a cake and make it look good. She said she just wants something simple, so that's good. And my mom used to decorate cakes so she has everything I would need and some books for me to use to learn. Anyhow, if you are in the Kalamazoo area there's a good chance that you will be offered cake sometime in the next couple months since I will be testing my skills a few times.

Today was long. I worked on my paper [read: sat at the computer messing around online and adding a little bit at a time] most of the day. I had it about three-quarters of the way done and got up to go get a shower only to come back to the computer with a black screen. It had went into hibernation. Then it rebooted. Yeah, I lost over half of what I had done. I discovered this about 45 minutes before class, no time to fix it. So I have to finish my paper and hand it in tomorrow. UGH.

I had my second to last Teaching FLE class tonight, I can't believe I only have three classes left in undergrad and I can't wait to be done!

After class I went to David's for a bit before the SFL meeting. If for some reason I don't stay in Kalamazoo, tonight would have been my last SFL meeting ever. (*insert tears here*) I absolutely love the people in the group and they are many of the reasons I want to stay here. (*fingers crossed that I find a great job here*) But the meeting was great and Katie and Sarah made me a graduation cake, along with awards for everyone that made us all laugh. They are great! =)

For the pictures:

Day 023 (04.14.09):
my friends Sarah and Katie and the cake they made for me. =)

Day 023:
David doesn't like this because it's "too emo," glad to see he's already realizing I don't listen well.

♥ Sara

"I have friends in overalls whose friendship I would not swap for the favor of the kings of the world."
-Thomas A. Edison

#106 - Completed.

106. kiss in the rain.

So, I went to bed shortly after finishing the blog last night and set my alarm for 5, thinking I would sleep a few hours, get up, write my paper and if I had extra time sleep some more. Well my mom woke me up at quarter to eight. My phone died and the alarm never went off. So my paper did not get done this morning. I flew (and I mean flew) from IR to Kalamazoo, only to make it 2 minutes after class started, not bad considering that was only a 4 hour 5 minute trip and that included stopping for gas, driving to my apartment, dropping the animals off, driving to school, finding a parking spot and actually walking to class.

I gave my presentation today though. I felt totally unprepared and read over my notes in the car on the way down here. I figured I was going to bomb it and look like a complete idiot. I actually ended up doing pretty well, the prof said I got a 93 out of a 100 on it. Works for me! =) And I am handing my paper in tomorrow with a 5 point penalty. Not bad either.

After class I started cleaning my apartment some, since someone thinks they might want to see it at some point (like now!), and then I ran to Meijer to pick up my days 11-20 photos. Then I went to David's and hung out with him for a bit. And by a bit I mean I just got home. Haha. Glad I don't have anything to do tomorrow until 6 pm! Well I have to write that paper, but that shouldn't be a problem. And I have to do some cleaning since he thinks he's coming over here tomorrow. =)

But on our way out (He walks me to my car when I leave his place, I don't like bragging about him here because he reads it and I'm afraid his head might explode if I brag him up too much, but ya'll know how nice that is!) he looked outside told me that it looked like I was going to be able to cross something off the list. It was raining! =) We both agreed it would have been much better if it was a warmer rain, but it was great anyhow. Perfect ending to what started out as a horrible day and kept getting better as time went on.

So . . . for the photos:

Day 22 (04.13.09):
well this is how you do homework on the road.
yes, I am driving with my toes at a speed that I will not tell here because my parents read this! =)

Day 22:
yet another in-the-car photo.

♥ Sara

"A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous."
-Ingrid Bergman

Rules.

First things first:

Happy Easter!! Happy 40th Anniversary Mom and Dad!!

So, up until almost midnight this was the worst Easter thus far in my life. I had two papers due today and another due tomorrow. I went to bed just before 2 and got up at 4, worked for 2 hours on homework, went back to bed for an hour and a half, got up for a few hours. Worked my butt off in hopes of getting back home tonight, I was exhausted so I laid down for another 45 minutes or so. Got my papers done, but I didn't make it home. =( It was actually probably for the best because I most likely would have gotten even less sleep and even less stuff done.

As you probably already know I had decided after Ben and I split that I was going to stay single for awhile, maybe casually date, but I wasn't going to let myself get into another relationship for quite some time. Three and a half weeks is some time, right? I swear I only make rules for myself so I can break them. I cannot think of a single thing I have said "never" or "always" or "absolutely not" or "not for ____ (time)" that I actually stuck to. Haha. Go me! Anyhow as you probably already figured out from this insane paragraph I am in a relationship. He knows my sordid history (well most of it, still have to fill him in on some, but he knows the worst parts of it) and he reads my crazy rambling on here, and somehow is still interested in me. =)

So it looks like I will be pulling another crazy sleep night to get my paper done by the time I have to leave in the morning. Ugh. I am so over all of this! And tomorrow I have that presentation. After that, I will be all done with coursework for 2 of my 5 classes. Then I have a small assignment Tuesday, aw hell let's take a peek at my week. This will be fun.
Monday: paper and presentation due. hanging out with David in the evening.
Tuesday: small assignment due. SFL last meeting of the semester =( (at Bilbos =) ).
Wednesday: class. CR meeting (yeah, I am going to those again, don't know if I mentioned that before, that's where I met David, he's the new chairman)
Thursday: small paper due. going to MSU to see Mike Adams speak.
Friday: exam. big paper due. potty mouth pizza party.
Saturday or Sunday night: taking Katie out for her 21st!
Sunday: 3 exams, 3 papers due (I was wrong on the due date in my previous listing, not every prof is the devil and makes shit due on Easter!)

Yep. Busy week! But I am so excited for it!! I graduate in 13 days!!!!!

Now for the pictures, fair warning, I threw mascara on just before I took them, I'm not even dressed, just a tank and pj pants. Totally forgot about it, but they were taken before midnight!!=)

Day 21 (04.12.09):
not my easterbasket, but some of the stuff from my basket in a spare one.

Day 21:
not a fan but couldn't skip today.

♥ Sara

“Rules are mostly made to be broken and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.”
-Douglas MacArthur

Eggs.

Last night I didn't go to sleep until after 430 am. UGH. Then I got up at 10 because my dad was cooking breakfast, ate and visited with him for a bit and went back to bed at 11. I woke up again at almost 3. Did I mention the kids were here for the night? Yeah, I was out.

Then I got up and got ready and took the kids home and colored eggs with them and my brother at their house. He had to go to TC for a gig that the band he manages had. So I spent my evening hanging out with my sister-in-law. I thoroughly enjoyed my evening with her, but I realized about 8 that I had to get home and get some homework done as well as color the eggs my parents had here for me to do. Yes, I am 21 and still color eggs. I will probably be 41 and still coloring eggs!! So my dad and I had fun coloring (well I colored he took pictures).

Now I am working on homework, well taking a quick break to get this published for today. Tomorrow, by midnight, I have to have a minimum of 16 pages written. And Monday I have that stupid presentation and the paper that goes along with it due. Ah fuck. (My new fave phrase.) Anyone want to bet whether I get it done or get any sleep tomorrow night? Oh and I have to find 4.5 hours to get back to Kalamazoo between now and Monday at 2 as well.

Want to know a secret though? I still don't care. The anxiety thing lasted like a day. Ahhhhh! Oh well.

So for the pictures:

Day20 (04.11.09):
my easter eggs.

Day 20:
dad suggested taking it from the other side.
I guess my right-handedness shows.

I can NOT believe it has been 20 days since I started this project!! It seems like just yesterday, then again in some cases it seems like it was forever ago when I think about it. So excited to print tomorrow (it will actually most likely be Monday since I have so much due) and put together the next 5 pages in the scrapbook! (I print every 10 days.)

♥ Sara

"Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary."
- Steve Jobs

Lucky.

If I had to choose one word to describe my day it would be LUCKY!

So you know that presentation that I still hadn't started when I wrote yesterday? Well I went to bed at 330ish and woke up at 630ish. Started working on the presentation at like 8. (I needed time to wake up.) The class I had to present for was at 2. Well I got the presentation all done and felt decent about it, not good, but decent. So I get to class and another person is presenting before me. While she was presenting I was having trouble keeping my eyes open and thinking that doing this on three hours sleep was an AWFUL idea.

She gets done and it's the moment I am dreading has come. My turn to present and I'm pretty sure I'm going to fall asleep during my own presentation. So, I go up and plug in my computer. Nothing. My professor tells me to restart it, that always works. Nothing. She restarts the projector system. Nothing. So she tells me to email it to her. Well my computer's wireless card is always disabled because of my internet through Alltel. So I have to wait for that. My professor says well, if you are getting frustrated you could just present on Monday, we have extra time available then for that. And I was all wishy-washy about it. I didn't want to get marked down for it, and then she tells me she wasn't going to mark me down. And one of the guys in the class said he would totally wait until Monday. And I agreed. So I didn't have to present today! How freaking lucky is that?!? (The funny part is I don't believe in a such thing as luck, but what I think about what everyone else considers luck is far to complicated for me to write tonight. I will do so another day. =) )

Since I got NO sleep I decided to come home and take a nap. I slept for almost 4 hours before I had to get up and get ready to go to the Roadhouse for the CR "meeting." I put meeting in quotations because I haven't heard any business discussed in the month I have been going to meetings. Then I went to David's and we hung out and watched Lucky Number Slevin. (If you haven't seen it do so now! One of my favorite movies ever.) And I just got home a bit ago, edited my pictures to post, wrote this and then I am headed to bed! I have the long drive home tomorrow, which I am not really looking forward to.

Also, a couple quick updates. 1) I don't know if I mentioned this before but I will not be attending classes for at least the first summer semester as I currently hate school. 2) I am going to be trying my hardest to stay in Kalamazoo for at least another year. I'm just not ready to leave, so if you hear about an amazing job here please pass the info on!! =) 3) Last, but not least, my plants seem to be ok!!! I know Bri was concerned, even if no one else was!

For the pictures. . . I only took one 365 and two self portraits, time was not on my side today.

Day 17 (04.08.09):
the plant that I thought I killed and Sam.
he wasn't supposed to be in the picture but he wouldn't listen. I like it!

Day 17:
you can totally tell I'm suffering from lack of sleep.

♥ Sara

"The feeling of sleepiness when you are not in bed, and can't get there, is the meanest feeling in the world."
-Edgar Watson Howe

Anxiety.

Wow. What an eventful day!!! =)

It all started at 4 am when I woke up having an anxiety attack about school (and other parts of life, but mainly school). I guess the last three months of not caring have finally caught up to me! But it was kinda beneficial. I got four papers done today before I had to go to class. Then after my class I went to the meetings I go to every night. Then, rather than coming home and working on my presentation I have to give at 2 tomorrow, I went to David's and watched a movie and hung out with him. Now I am totally exhausted and have a presentation that isn't even started (aside from the research) to give tomorrow (11 hours away!). AH. Shit. Oh well, no regrets!

So you guys really better appreciate this post and the pictures. As I am typing this I'm trying to decide when I want the four hours sleep that I figure I can afford to give up without a problem. I'm thinking maybe right now as I'm about falling asleep at the computer.

Ok, pictures for today!! =)

Day 16 (04.07.09):
my perfume bottle.

Day 16:
nothing special to add.

♥ Sara

"If you want total security, go to prison. There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on. The only thing lacking ... is freedom."
-Dwight D. Eisenhower

(Quote not relevant to anything I had to say today or anything about my life, I just liked it! It was on David's facebook so I stole it!! =) )

Snow.

So, yesterday it was like 50+ degrees outside. I spent some time out with the dog and was in just a sweatshirt, plenty comfortable. We haven't had snow in Kalamazoo in like a month. Well my poor plants looked like they needed some sunlight so I put them outside, only to wake up to snow this morning!!! AHHH! I hope they are fine, but I'm not sure yet. I have had them since I moved here, and kept them alive all that time, I would be sorely disappointed if I killed them three weeks before graduation!!! I will keep you updated on my plants' status,' since I know ya'll care about my silly plants!!

Aside from possibly killing my plants, I was so excited to see snow!! Hearing tales of snow up home and in CO makes me jealous, so I was actually thrilled to see it here. Plus I got to bust out my sweaters again without getting weird looks from people or questions about being hot! (Yes I was that one day!) I think I might have been about the only person down here to feel that way though. Unfortunately I think it's all gone already! =(

Today wasn't all that exciting. Class. Homework. Procrastinating. Procrastinating some more. Homework. More procrastination. Yep. Go me.

I have senioritis like no other and just don't give a shit anymore! As long as I get Cs I will graduate, and if you know me well at all you know that isn't my typical view, but I really can't make myself care right now. And Mom if you are reading this I didn't procrastinate at all and I've been working hard all day!! =)

Anyhow. The snow made for some great pictures, today was a hard pick! (For the 365 not the self, the self was hard because I hated them all, my bangs need a trim, BAD!) Here ya go!

Day 15 (04.06.09):
the snow on the tree outside my bedroom.

Day 15:
bangs are so overdue for a trim!

♥ Sara

“Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway."”
-Maya Angelou

Procrastinating.

My scrapbook is going well!! Last night (well this morning, since it was well after midnight) I worked on it and got the cover page and first five pages of my 365 photos done! It is going to be so awesome when it's all done! I am excited that I came up with the idea.

The 365 projects are getting difficult. The plain photography isn't hard, I have plenty of ideas, and Kevin is constantly feeding me them as well! But the self portrait is so difficult some days. For instance, today, I hated it! I didn't mind the end picture but it just wasn't fun, but I will not be quitting!! I am determined to take 365 pictures, and hopefully have 365 blogs to go along with them!!

Today was the first time in probably a week I felt well rested! I got almost eight hours sleep this morning/early afternoon. =) So once I publish this I will spend a few hours working hard on the homework, hoping to get a good chunk done this weekend! Check out these due dates:
April 4: one paper
April 5: 8 papers, 4 exams
April 7: one paper
April 8: presentaion
April 11: one paper
April 12: 5 papers, 3 exams
April 13: one paper
April 14: one paper
April 17: two papers, one exam
April 21: FINAL FINAL EXAM!!
Yep. Lots of shit to do! Yet here I sit, watching a movie (Ever After), writing a blog, and texting Kevin. Go me! In the dictionary under procrastinator they should have my picture! =)

Ok, for reals, I am going to do some homework. Photos of the day:

Day 12 (04.03.09):
a bud on the tree that's outside my bedroom window here in Kzoo.

Day 12:
I kinda like this one!

♥ Sara

"Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow. "
Mark Twain

Shock.

I have so much to say, so much on my mind, but nothing I can put here. I will share it with my girls, but I don't want it posted here for the general public. I am in shock on so many levels.

Let's see . . . stuff I can share. Um, I printed Day 1-10 pictures! I am starting to scrapbook them tonight! I am really excited about that. This weekend I am hoping to get at least half of my homework done, which would be 5 exams, and 10 papers. Woo, go me! *sarcasm.* I'll let you know how that goes.

Yep, I got nothing else to add tonight. Mind is racing 100 miles a minute. I promise I will be more interesting tomorrow. Here are the pictures!

Day 11 (04.02.09):
candles in my candleholder.

Day 11:
I got nothing special here.

♥ Sara

“Truth makes many appeals, not the least of which is its power to shock.”

-Jules Renard

AHH!

So insane and interesting, the double-i, is my new way of describing life! =) My friend Sara told me today I should write a book someday because my life is, "well, like a soap opera." I think that's a compliment. But I also am a very low-maintenance person and hate soap opera drama, but I don't ask for any of it! She also told me I write well, I don't know if I agree with that either, but I love the compliment!

I have felt quite crappy all day, I thought it might just be nerves for my presentation, but I still don't feel the greatest. Oh well, I'll live. Today I had a group presentation, which was crazy. I am so happy it's over and that class is smooth sailing from here out. I only have three weeks left!!! Nine classes! Twenty papers! Nine Exams! One Presentation! Aw, hell, shoot me now! And I don't care. . . ugh. I have no motivation and just really don't care. I am taking the summer off due to my indifference toward school. I decided that last night.

After the presentation I went out with my SFL friends for dinner at Applebees. =) Excellent end to my day. Well I guess my day still hasn't ended, I'll probably be up a few more hours texting and possibly doing homework.

For the pictures: I look like crap, I wasn't feeling good. . . oh well. And if I ever see the phrase "I LOVE ME" again it would be too soon! =)

Day 9 (03.31.09):
the cupcakes I made for our presentation.

Day 9:
notice the hot pink shirt!!
awful picture, but I was in a hurry and took two.
the other was blurry.

♥ Sara

“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.”
-Ashley Montagu

Interesting.

Life is. . . interesting. :)

Let's see, I had something really interesting to talk about before, non-personal life, and for the life of me do you think I could remember it?!? Of course not!

I am running on little sleep two nights in a row now, so excuse the insanity if it goes there. lol. Last night was surprising and interesting and yeah, that's all I have to say about it.

Today I got up and wrote a paper and then went to class. I had my second to last group meeting for my Teaching FLE class. Tomorrow is our presentation! I am excited and nervous about it, but know we will do fine. I saw a friend of mine today before the meeting and he told me I "look like Satan's Sister." People are just full of compliments lately. :) Then my group decides we need to dress in colors tomorrow, and black is no longer a color I guess. UGH. So I had to go shopping, not that I really mind shopping, just not a fan of bright colors as ya'll know. But I found a cute pink top, you will see it in the self-portrait tomorrow! Oh and I made cupcakes tonight, for the presentation tomorrow. I love baking so much!

And for the photos. I was totally stumped, so I asked Kevin for ideas. And he came up with this one, so mad props to him. Not to mention I am in it right now and so he gets even madder props because it is amazing!! :)

Day 8 (03.30.09):
candles surrounding my bath tub.
oh and the only editing i did was vignette, adding the darkness around the outside.

Day 8:
texting.
so since I have done this for 20 of the last 28 hours I thought it was appropriate. =)

♥ Sara

"I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."
-Marilyn Monroe

Crazy

Wow, my life has been crazy!! So many changes are going on.

I am working on my overanalyzing problem (which I think comes from the OCD). It's getting on my nerves and I know it's unneccesary and I know a lot of the things I overanalyze and freakout about are just plain ridiculous. I've been trying to stop overanalyzing every single thing in my life for years, and it never worked in the past...but I figure if I can not have a plan and be happy, I can not overanalyze and most likely be even happier! I'm actually doing better with it than I expected. Crazy, I know! (But the rest of my life is even more organized, haha....oh well a clean house is never a bad thing...)

I never thought that I would be willingly moving back into my parents house, let alone be looking forward to it! I have made the over 550 mile round-trip journey from Kalamazoo to my parents house and back every weekend. Well, not every weekend because I spent all of last week up there. I had to get away from here and be around people who supported me and weren't going to treat me like shit. I had no intentions on doing this but it all got to be too much....and now I am paranoid and it drives me nuts. Luckily I only have two face-to-face classes so I only have to be here from Monday at 2 pm to Wednesday at 3:30 pm, so I don't have to be here much and the journey is worth the time I get to spend up there. While I am actually enjoying the drive (most of the time) I am so ready to not have to make it any more! Only 8 more times, at the very most! I start moving my stuff up this weekend, and cleaning out my room(s), it will be nice to not have to live out of a suitcase anymore!
♥ Sara

"I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control, and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, than you don't deserve my best"
-Marilyn Monroe

(I don't know if there is a quote that could better sum me up right now! =) )

New Beginnings

Well, I have decided since I am having a fresh start in just about every aspect of my life, or will be within the next few months, I am going to have a fresh start to the blog as well. I know this is coming a couple weeks after my new beginnings began, but I needed time to think on what I would say, I've thought and I am ready. I am excited for the new start to my life and everything that comes with it.

Now, for some explaining. As you know I was engaged, I broke it off, not because he was a bad person, or anything like that, but because he wasn't the right guy for me. After a lot of time thinking and talking about it I knew for a fact what I wanted and what was best for me. I really am 100% certain I made the right decision for me and am incredibly happy now. There was someone else who had been on my mind for years, yeah, literally years. And I knew deep down what I wanted and what I needed to do. So I did it.

I know a lot of people don't agree with, or don't understand my decision. But considering the circumstances I have taken the "I don't care" attitude. Does it still bug me if people I am close to or thought I was close to think less of me because of my decisions? Yes, but I can't let them bring me down. I know I did the right thing and I just hope everyone else can understand and respect that.

I have also decided that I will not be staying in Kalamazoo past July, I am hoping to get out of my lease in April when I graduate (WOOHOO!!). I have a house in Gaylord that my parents offered me, but I am currently trying to decide if I want to live there or just move in with my parents for a bit and see how that goes. I guess I will leave it up to the job situation. Also I will be starting my Master's degree in May. It will be through Western, but it's an online program.

I am really just looking forward to life. I am happier than I could have thought I would be and I wouldn't change anything for the world. Well, maybe make Kalamazoo to Cheboygan not so long of a drive. I have driven it three weekends in a row (almost 30 hours in 14 days, craziness). But it has totally been worth it and I don't regret that for a second. Being with Ben is amazing, and really surreal. I still overanalyze, because that's what I do, but I never doubt my decision or my feelings.

Well I just got in for the night and finished this and I think it's time for me to head to bed! After all I have another at least 4.5 hour drive tomorrow!!
♥ Sara

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be."
- Douglas Adams