Disclaimer: I have no idea how this blog got to be this long! So I will be subtitling it so you can skip parts you don't care about if you want! :)
Wednesday Thru Sunday.
So this couple days off thing might be rather beneficial for my blogging! I worked Wednesday thru Saturday like I had said. Then Saturday night I went out for a couple hours before heading home for the night. When I got home I crashed. I spent most of the day yesterday sleeping.
When I wasn't sleeping yesterday, I was figuring out my returns/exchanges for some clothes I ordered, eating strawberries and sugar with dad and hanging out with the kids. For as long as I can remember strawberries have been my favorite fruit. Ever. And Dad would often buy (and still does) pints of strawberries and we would (and still do) sit and eat them together while dipping them in the sugar bowl. Have you ever dipped strawberries in a sugar bowl? It makes a strawberry-sugar mess. Mom *loves* it when we do that. I swear one day I will buy her her own sugar bowl! :)
strawberry in the sugar bowl. :)
Jeremiah and Shianne were here for the day, I spent an hour or so hanging out with them in the hot tub. Yes, the hot tub when it was like 70 degrees outside, we didn't have it very hot. But it was fun, those kids are getting so big! I always said I would never say that. . . I still refuse to say it directly to kids, but those two make me feel old. Seriously.
Anyhow, after they went home, I took a nap, then watched a movie, then went to bed. I don't know what my deal is but I have been SO tired lately.
this fly was amazing to photograph. he let me take like 10 pictures of him.
Doctor's Visit.
Today I had to get up early to go to the doctor. When I went to see my family doctor about having my mole removed I reminded him that it's time for another biopsy of my esophagus. Well the doctor who did it before has since left the area so he had to find a new doctor for me. She is a gastroenterologist out of Petoskey and I actually liked her. She didn't give me any bullshit or tell me that the diagnosis couldn't be possible and she was very straightforward about what it means. Finally. Let's see if she keeps it up . . . I have my biopsy Tuesday then will be seeing her again shortly thereafter to go over my results.
For those of you who don't know, I was diagnosed with Barrett's Esophagus, a condition that can lead to esophageal cancer, four years ago now. I went through three biopsies over a year and discussion of surgery then, but they opted out of doing the surgery and decided to just take care of my gallbladder at that time. So, I was told that in three years I would need to have another biopsy done. Well, I passed the three year mark by a couple of months now, I've kinda been putting it off. Something about going through a bunch of medical procedures drives me nuts. Of course, this will be my third biopsy in less than two months. Woo. Freaking. Hoo. Wish me luck, and I'm sure I'll have an interesting story after it. I tend to do crazy things when I'm sedated. And if any of you are interested in the procedure I will be going through it is called an esophagogastroduodenoscopy, also known as either an EGD or upper endoscopy. And here is a link to the site that I found to be most informative about it.
mom's ladyslippers are out.
Shopping.
When I got done at the doctor's office I decided to go shopping because I really wanted a white shirt for work. I ended up getting a couple shirts and an awesome pair of boots at the first store I went to and a couple of shirts, a few pairs of nylons and a few skirts for work at the second one. I went shopping at the right time! Everything I bought was on a major sale and I saved like 150% of what I spent. Score! And I have no buyer's remorse. My way of looking at it was that I have to go back to Petoskey Tuesday for the biopsy so I have a week to decide if I want to keep it all. . . Looks like I do. :) Who would have thought that shopping for work clothes would put me in such a good mood, especially when I don't feel content with my body at this time? (If you know me well you know that the days I feel content with my body are few and far between. . . ) In all honesty, I love that I have to get dressed up for work.
you know how I feel about dandelions! :D
Completing a Bucket List Item.
After shopping I was STARVING. I was going to pick something up from BAB for lunch. But then I remembered my bucket list and decided to knock off one of the items since it has been so neglected lately. So I decided to go into BAB and eat. It really wasn't bad at all. In fact, I think I actually enjoyed the time to myself.
self-portrait action shot.
Independence and Relationships.
I've always thought of myself as one of those people who needed someone with me, but I think I have changed a lot in regards to that in the past year and a half or so. I lived alone in Kalamazoo for a few months and didn't really even talk to many people outside of school, work and meetings. For the past few months, I have done pretty much everything by myself. Hell, I even go to the bar alone. (There will always be people I know there, but I drive there alone, go in alone, and go home alone.) It seems as though I have been realizing just how much I don't need other people. I mean. . .I am a people person, I need people in my life, don't get me wrong. But I'm not so much dependent on other people to do things or for my happiness, er, rather, to feel content.
I loved photographing this caterpillar, even though he wouldn't remain still. At all.
Never have I been so comfortable without a committed relationship in my life. I don't know, maybe my mind will change on that at some point. But not now. It is rather ironic to me that I feel that way now. I remember when someone close to me that he just had no desire for a relationship, that he was happier single and I thought he was freaking crazy. (Ya'll should know who I am talking about if you are an avid blog reader, or at least if you have been around since the beginning.) Now, I understand. I know part of it is that I have been hurt so many times in the past, and I really am that guarded now. Another part is that I now absolutely refuse to be in a relationship with someone until I feel absolutely certain that it is what I want. Plus, I love that I can talk to whoever I want, act how I want, dress how I want, eat what I want, exercise when I feel like it (or not! ;) ), and just do whatever I want whenever I want to without having to answer to anyone or explain what I'm doing and my reasoning for doing it. I feel so. . .. liberated.
Now, I know what happens every single time I go on a tangent like this. . . so yeah, we'll see if it happens this time! And no, I'm not hoping it will. But I'm also not going to pass up something amazing just because I'm scared if I feel it is right. I don't know if any of this made sense to anyone else. . . but it did in my head. And ya'll know the real reason I write is for my own benefit! :)
mom's spirea bush. (this is smaller than a quarter)
Back to life. . .
The Rest of the Day.
After I finished eating, I stopped and saw my grandparents. I haven't seen them in a while again because my work schedule isn't exactly visiting friendly, and when I'm not working I've been busy. So I visited with them for a bit, they seem to be doing pretty well. :)
Then I came home and spent some time taking pictures (the ones that are scattered in this blog). I hate how warm it is outside (It was 88 according to grandma and grandpa's thermometer.), but man, summer presents some amazing photo opportunities. The flowers are gorgeous. The sunsets are gorgeous, the sun itself is perfect, and the colors just pop! I still love photographing in the winter, and even moreso in the fall, but I have to find SOMETHING positive about summer! When I came in the house, I showed my parents my new clothes. They loved them! I spent some time organizing stuff in my room and filling out paperwork for my biopsy before I went outside to clean out the car.
It is so obvious I live in my, er, mom's car. I had clothes, shoes, food, coats and tons of garbage in it. I cleaned out all of the good stuff that didn't belong in there and dumped all the garbage in the garbage can then organized my stuff that I leave in the car (shoes, food, fire gear) in my trunk. So, once I vacuum it, it will be amazingly clean. :)
the reason summer is ok.
Once the car was cleaned, I came in and took a shower and got ready to go to dinner. Ben and I made plans last week for dinner but he cancelled on me so we rescheduled for tonight. It's always good to see him. And he's leaving for work again next week, so it was perfect timing. After our dinner I went to Walmart and did some grocery shopping. Then I went down to the lake and took some more pictures before heading home.
Now I'm sitting on my bed. Looking through my pictures. Thinking that it's probably time I go to sleep. I know, I'm boring! ;)
the lake after sunset.
Song of the Day:
Rain Is A Good Thing by Luke Bryan
[I love how catchy this song is. Plus I love rain! ;) Also, if you listen to it he says "warshin" instead of "washin" which makes me laugh. Katie always adds a "r" to wash. So she would like to visit "Warshington D.C." and "George Warshington" was our first president and she "warshes her clothes in the warshing machine." She says the r is silent when you spell it. *rolls eyes*
Anyways. . . the song is a good one. Oh and Luke Bryan is definitely worth looking at. :)]
♥ Sara
"I don't need a man to rectify my existence. The most profound relationship we'll ever have is the one with ourselves." - Shirley MacLaine
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