Goodbyes.

Have I told you that I hate goodbyes?
Have I told you that I hate sad endings?
Have I told you that I hate having my heartbroken?
Have I told you that I hate crying?

All of the above are true. Yet all of them have happened far too often in my life, and especially since this blog was started. Now this one I saw coming for a long time (read: the past six weeks). And somehow I kept the entire situation out of my blog. . .maybe because I fell off the face of the earth for it. . . maybe because I didn't know what to write, how to say it, or even what to say.

Now, I'm not going into details on this one, because, well I don't feel like it right now.
I had fun.
I felt comfortable.
I trusted.
I fell hard.
I've hurt for weeks.
I've cried my tears.
I've come to terms.
I've said my goodbyes.

Instead of detailing the situation, I'm more interested in writing what I've learned, not just from him, but from every failed relationship (or not relationship) I've had. And mind you, there's more than one point for each one. . . fortunately, I seem to learn more than one lesson per relationship. If you are an expert on my life, you will probably be able to put a name with each point.

If you're in a long distance relationship and he disappears for a long time, then acts weird, it's because something [bad] is up.
If he cheats on you, dates her and then comes back to you, he'll leave you again, quite possibly for her.
If he allows his family to treat you like shit, he'll probably join the ranks soon.
If he seems like a possesive scum bag, he probably is.
If he ever acts violent towards you, it's likely not a one time occurance and will quite possibly get much worse, never better.
If he sabotages your friendships, think about why he would do that.
If he threatens to leave you, tell him to follow through.
If it's a long distance relationship and you don't want to see him, here's your sign.
If things are moving too fast for you, say something.
If he says he would choose a hobby over you, remember you deserve better.
If he says all he wants is to get married and have kids, that's really all he wants, it doesn't matter who it's with.
If you can't get him out of your head, there's a reason.
If it's a long distance relationship and he doesn't want to see you, here's your sign again.
If it appears he is into someone else more than you, he probably is. Don't be surprised when he starts dating her.
If he can't stop talking about his ex and how in love with her he was, he still is and nothing you can do can change that.
If you fight *all* the time, it's never going to work.
If you can date other guys and not speak to him for weeks, he's just not right for you, no matter how great he is.
If he's unwilling to commit to you, he never will be, don't waste your time.
If he promises to call and never does, you just aren't important, find someone who thinks you are.
If he treats you differently while drinking, he needs to choose, you or alcohol.
If he promises to change the way he treats you, hold him to it.
If you have promised yourself to never hand out second, third, fourth, or fifth chances, remember why.
If he treats you like shit, move on. . . there is someone out there who will treat you better.

I could write more. . .but there are some things I am unwililng to share about my life. (I know, it's a shocker.) I have contemplated writing an anonymous blog where I would feel comfortable sharing *everything*. . . . maybe someday. But not today. I still love this one. :)

So, here we go again. Moving on. Picking myself up off the ground. I've been down for a while this time though. Today is more of a relief than a sadness. And it's certainly not a shocker. And you better believe that I'll be doing something . . . something . . . new? with my life here soon. By my life. . . I mean my life/blog. Yes, I have a plan, you will see either tonight or tomorrow. That's a promise.

Song of the Day:
White Horse by Taylor Swift
[Self explanitory. :) ]

my ring, with a little bit of editing ;)

The real pic is on facebook.

♥ Sara

At the end of the day, it's about weather YOU like yourself enough to face the reality that your romance wasn't working.. to recognize that it wasn't giving you what you needed and deserved.

So many of us find ourselves saying "BUT HE WAS SO GREAT!" Yes, and the people who got on the Titanic thought they were going on vacation. Things changed and it's important to remember that they did.
-Above 2: It's Called A Break-Up Because It's Broken

I don't want to be "sort of dating" someone. I don't want to be "kinda hanging out" with someone. I don't want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be with someone I know I'll see again because they've already demonstarted to me that they're
trustworthy and honorable -- and into me.
-He's Just Not That Into You (the book)