Thursday was just an awful day for me. There was only one thing that actually went wrong, but it's not something I feel comfortable putting on here as it involves another person who I know wouldn't want it on here. I will say that I think I may have lost one of my best friends. (And as you can see I'm writing this almost a week later and still haven't heard from him, so I'm having a rough time handling that.) But back to my day.
I got up and got ready to go to town as I needed some stuff to make dinner, a clothesline, and some stuff for painting. I had to wait for mom to get ready because she needed to go in and pick up her car. While I was waiting, Grandpa dropped off Jeremiah, so we took him to town with us. I dropped Mom and Jeremiah off at the car place. They went home and I went to the store.
When I got home I strung the clothesline and hung up the clothes. I don't mind hanging clothes but by the time I got around to doing it there were three loads waiting for me! Once the clothes were on the line I started dinner. I made a veggie pizza and pistachio salad. While I was working on that was my day went to hell. I have edited and re-edited this post in an attempt to try to decide what I want to say and how I want to word it. No I'm not going into details, no I'm not mentioning names. But I am going to say a few things about it.
1. If someone tells you they are interested in a relationship with you and you tell her that you aren't interested and don't see yourself being interested, tell her to move on, and can list off a good 10 excuses as to why. Don't expect said person to wait around for your dumb ass forever.
2. When said person gets into a relationship and it is obvious that she is head over heels for her significant other, now is not the time to tell her you want to be with her.
3. Once she tells you she doesn't want any more than a friendship with you, don't keep bringing it up. Your excuses are no longer necessary. They just don't matter anymore, your time has passed. You are too late. Beating a dead horse will do nothing but piss her off.
4. Saying "I don't want to ruin our friendship but. . . " simply means that you don't want to lose that person as a friend yet you want to make things completely impossible for her. Sorry, but you can't have your cake and eat it too.
5. If you really have feelings for said person you would respect her wishes and be happy that she is happy rather than continuing to beat said dead horse. Oh and saying that you don't want to cause problems, and that you are happy she is happy, yet continuing to do what you have been doing doesn't make it all better. And I've always said actions speak louder than words, or in this case the most words win.
6. It's hard to believe you really have feelings for someone when you don't care to learn anything about what is going on in her life. Referring to her significant other as "the boyfriend" only, just pisses her off. She has a boyfriend yes, but he has a name, use it now and then. And finding out a little bit about the guy might be a good idea if you want her to think that you are actually interested in her life.
Ah, can you tell I'm irritated? Mind you I am writing this 6 days later and I have even more to say than I said here, but this is plenty. Oh well, there's nothing more that I am willing to do, so I guess what's done is done and life will go on. Oh, and you know who you are. . . I hope you read this, since my thought and feelings don't seem to actually matter to you. And I can honestly say that because all I have heard for the past three weeks plus is what you think, what you thought, why you did what you did, why you are doing this to me now, etc. You know little to nothing about what has happened in my life in the last month or so. It would be nice if you at least pretended to care.
In many ways I hope we move past this and can be friends again, but I don't see that happening due to what you have put me through in the past three weeks. And in some ways I don't want it to happen because I don't want to subject myself to this continual emotional rollercoaster with you. There is no chance I would give up Justin for the world, but having you bring this up repeatedly does upset me. It's unnecessary drama and I have had it. Plus, I'm not convinced this isn't simply an "I want what I can't have" issue. Oh and don't worry, very few people would be able to figure out who you are.
After dinner was done we ate, and I went back to work on my fourth wall. I got most of it done, needing just one more coat on part of it. And I talked to Justin. :) You have no idea how necessary that was after the evening I had. His reassurance calmed me down. I talked to him and worked on my walls until I went to bed.
Here are the pictures:
Day 144:
my underwear were hanging out for the world to see so I figured I would put it on here for the world to REALLY see. haha.
Day 144:
outside.
♥ Sara
Random Fact of the Day:
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
"One day you are going to wake up and realize how much you truly love her and when that day comes you will be too late, she will be waking up next to the guy who already knows. . . ."
-Author Unknown
(I know, I hate anonymous quotes, but this one couldn't be more perfect.)